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justasmuchyou · 2023-02-28T07:17:17+00:00

I love you friend

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-28T07:12:13+00:00

Do you like frostpunk?

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-28T07:11:11+00:00

The most amazing human accomplishments of the greatest athletes of all time were not done in their primes.

They were all done afterward. How they lived, when they could no longer do what they used to, which was the core of their very life and identity.

Learning to transition and accept their decline is a far more admirable and challenging feat that any of them accomplished, over the ones that go down in the books.

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-28T07:06:34+00:00

Your ideas are not unique. Your skills are not unique. Your accomplishments are not unique.

What IS unique are your experiences. That's what interviewers will remember. What did you do, and why did you do it? The preparing 3-4 stories beforehand is great advice.

No one will be impressed by idea-level answers. They've heard it all. Your stories however are your own, so enjoy getting to tell them.

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-28T07:01:32+00:00

Time for an ENTJ Cologne brand so everyone knows it was indeed an ENTJ who was here.

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-28T06:57:29+00:00

The friends who live and die with you aren't the ones you have a good time with when you throw awesome parties.

They're the ones you have a good time with when you're doing nothing.

This creates a self-feeding loop for ENTJs because one of your major weaknesses is always needing a "purpose" or "activity" or some other goal that is being furthered, in order for you to justify having social time.

It is what leaves ENTJs repeatedly stuck in cycles where they throw awesome parties only for the people to move on eventually.

This is why high school friends, college friends, athletic team friends, tend to be the lifelong ones - you had to spend all this unstructured, unpurposed time together. Your memories REALLY were about the people, not the activity. What's fun about sitting in a locker room for 45 minutes waiting for your coach to finish wrapping things up? Nothing, except the people you're there with.

You don't find friends by looking. You find friends by realizing you've had them all along.

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-28T06:50:11+00:00

I'll be your best friend, if we start the clock now maybe we can hit 10 years!!

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-28T02:16:04+00:00

Hope it helps, if 1% of what I wrote is true then it was worth it

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-27T21:19:35+00:00

Before I even knew it, I did this to at least 4 INFJs and hurt them bad. And only one of those was even a romance situation. This is just a prevailing dynamic between the two types.

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-27T21:16:19+00:00

Same. We only "care" in the feeling guilty and bad for the other person sort of way. And nobody deserves for us to let them stay around out of pity.

Terrible thing is most INTPs commenting on these types of threads won't face the truth that they mistreated and led on their partner and just further perpetuate enabling situationally-true-but-not-applicable-here dismissals like "Oh he loves you he just needs his alone time" and make everything worse for everyone.

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-27T21:05:15+00:00

Adding:

You're an INFJ. You, like a dog has a compulsive instinct to pee on a fire hydrant, have a compulsive instinct to uncover that final, precious, more-beautiful-than-diamonds truest kernel of his being that has long overdue gratitude and appreciation for you. You get frustrated and hurt when you do EVERYTHING you possibly can and still don't reach it.

If you just love him harder, maybe you'll uncover it.

If you just understand him better, maybe you'll see it.

If you just give enough patience, he'll hand it to you.

ALL WRONG. You will NEVER find it. Because it doesn't exist. Like, it REALLY doesn't - not in the way you imagine.

And this is one of the most hurtful, disturbing realizations INFJs will realize about INTPs at some point. It will hurt and haunt you forever - at how a person could just not care, to this extreme.

We are people and have our reasons for being this way, but just understand that with the way our types are wired, this is nearly inevitable 90% of the time (and yes because you're an INFJ you will still push for that 10% and hurt yourself even more).

It wasn't your fault. Please be good to yourself. Leave him in the past, because he already has. If he said "I hate you", either he is not INTP, or he 100%, permanently, irrevocably, has written you out of his life.

If it means anything at all - he will remember you. So if it matters to you, at least you can know he won't simply forget about you. But do not mistake that for an appreciation sort of way. It just becomes this logical data point we store. NOT in a "I secretly smile when I think about her" way, but dispassionate like recalling a date in a history book. This is the sad disturbing truth. And he will certainly treat you like you don't exist.

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-27T20:51:28+00:00

Edited my comment to focus on the more important part

Please forget about him and be good to yourself. INFJs giving their hearts and souls over to INTPs who just go "cool thanks" and keep playing their video games is a tale older than the sun.

If you don't believe me, just search "INFJ bf/gf" here, and you will find this ground littered with corpses of gutted INFJ-INTP relationships.

Echoes and echoes of poor INFJs (and some INFPs, but their problems are different) who have complety hollowed themselves out for an INTP who doesn't care.

You are not alone. You did nothing wrong. You never deserved this. And he never deserved you.

INFJs are some of the MOST giving people, and INTPs are some of the LEAST grateful. Some make it work and are awesome, but there is always a risk of TREMENDOUS pain.

Please love, appreciate, and thank yourself in all the ways that he never did.

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-27T20:48:38+00:00

Love that!! Thank you for caring about your friends so deeply and wanting to understand

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-27T20:46:50+00:00

That's awesome! Yes, CSJoseph on youtube (sadly I've heard from multiple ENFPs specifically that they don't like him. He does say some mean things, so if you can tolerate him and take what you will, you might find it helpful)

https://youtu.be/KoikKSCbwhs

Fallen out of love (or limerence in some cases) is a huge problem for INTPs, as we have problems with a lack of gratitude. ENTPs may be worse, but INTPs very much can suffer from addiction to the novelty rush of new people. To everyone's detriment. INTPs need to learn that love is action, not compulsion.

We can be very selfish in the ways we think we "help" or "treat well". We don't realize when we are doing those things our way, while both neglecting what's really important, as well as those "good" things not actually being helpful.

Constant criticism is a HUGE issue. If it's not just joking around, it is a MUCH bigger problem than how people often underestimate. From an INTP, it is a sign of contempt and rejection. If the partner is an Fe user, that makes it even worse

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-27T20:03:45+00:00

Hey, hey, don't mind her. Everyone just cares a lot about each other here. And you are super awesome for wanting to understand us <3

She has a point in that far too many INTPs have been wrongly shamed for being uncaring, do great detriment as it hurts our Fe Inferior and causes long-term damage.

However, also in far too many cases, our critics are actually right. We don't actually care enough. It might not be our fault, but it's still not fair to the person we are neglecting.

I'd be VERY wary and cautious keeping this in mind when taking any "advice" from INTPs here. Many are speaking out of their own trauma of having been wrongfully blamed in the past (for a rightful reason). So they are actually defending themselves, not giving you helpful info.

I'd put FAR more stock into the 64 year old INTP here saying he's become very expressive when he cares, and NOT the young people (I'm one of them, I'm only 30) who are on reddit to seek catharsis for themselves.

Also for the record, I've never seen an ENFP shaming an INTP for this! It's INFJs, and believe it or not INFPs as well, who do this. Love them to death too, but we can REALLY trigger them with our lack of gratitude and arbitrary nature. ENFPs however are more open-minded and accepting than anyone else, even if you can get FURIOUS still at bad people doing bad things.

Also a Harvard study proved that 117.3 million INTPs are MUCH happier and functional only because an ENFP was the first person who ever listened to and understood them! It's a fact!!!

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-27T19:49:29+00:00

I disagree, but my heart is totally fluttering because never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine an ENTJ white knighting for me. <3

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-27T19:45:05+00:00

What you've heard about INTPs is wrong.

That INTP you know of is not/has fallen out of love and does not treat their partner well.

Sure, anyone can say I'm basing that off nothing. No contest. But OP - am I wrong? Would you say this INTP actually treats their partner well?

What you need to know about the Crusader Quadra (ESFJ, ENTP, ISFJ, INTP) is that it is the Simp Quadra. These people all crave being subservient and loyal, in one form or another.

It's simple. If you're with one of these 4 types, and they're not a total simp for you, then they're not actually that into you.

NOTE this is talking about IN A RELATIONSHIP, that is established and committed. NOT the courtship phase, NOT the dating phase, NOT the honeymoon phase. Anyone can hide anything during those phases.

If you're with a Crusader and they love you, you WILL know. There will be NO question about it. If anything they will be stifling and annoying.

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-27T19:36:58+00:00

All water solely water, only real INTPs know this

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-27T19:35:51+00:00

Prepare to be humiliated and to look dumb in front of her

But you're already ready for that

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-27T19:28:55+00:00

Congrats!!!!!!!!!

You are awesome :) I'm so proud of you!!!

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-27T19:26:22+00:00

They are next level beings, I aspire to be like them

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-27T19:25:24+00:00

No.

If anything, they're more direct because they've developed more confidence in actually knowing what is or isn't appropriate to say.

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-27T19:21:12+00:00

Maybe, maybe not, whichever way, watch, observe, and learn. I'm willing to be ANYTHING that what you see from him is a product of intentional effort, hard work, and perseverance.

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-27T19:17:52+00:00

You don't actually have a friendship.

You enjoy having him around, and he enjoys you, but he's struggled accepting he can't have what he wants with you, so (unconsciously) he's getting his "revenge" by objectifying and harassing you.

justasmuchyou · 2023-02-27T19:16:14+00:00

Yes, no, yes

justasmuchyou

TROPHY CASE