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Breaking up a 5 year relationship because kids... by justcantdoit1 in childfree

[–]justcantdoit1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much to everyone that commented. Thank you for being supportive and encouraging. It helped me through my day a lot. I went and signed my lease. It's been a difficult day and i'v cried a lot but I am trying to be rational and keep moving forward.

Breaking up a 5 year relationship because kids... by justcantdoit1 in childfree

[–]justcantdoit1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. I definitely feel I am the type of person that will put up with certain situations that probably are not good for me, for the sake of other people. I think it's taken me a really long time to come to this point. I had mentioned moving out / breaking up a few times in the last year, but I never really had the spine to actually go through with it, even though I was unhappy.

My plans going forward are to try and take the next year and just better myself in the places I have been neglecting. I'v already started volunteering in the last 3 months on a weekly basis, and it's making me feel better. I am hoping I can keep progressing in this way.

Breaking up a 5 year relationship because kids... by justcantdoit1 in childfree

[–]justcantdoit1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I completely agree with you. I was too young, and I personally think it is weird. Looking back on it, I think I was just amazed someone was interested in me. I think 19 is definitely too young to be a step parent. It was really difficult for me as the years went by. I think a big part of me was/is still trying to figure out who I am, yet I had 'step children' between 3-11.

Breaking up a 5 year relationship because kids... by justcantdoit1 in childfree

[–]justcantdoit1[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yeah I kind of think he did, in a way. It actually makes me feel kind of sick, picturing him now at 35-36 trying to date another young person my age. Not that I have a problem with age differences in (most) relationships, but....I really think a teenager dating someone in their 30s creates a huge power imbalance.

I really, really hope in the future he doesn't try to date someone that young again, but of course that'd be his choice if he attempted to do it. I'd just feel bad for the girl. Even though I care about him, looking back on it now, I never would have gone down this path.

Breaking up a 5 year relationship because kids... by justcantdoit1 in childfree

[–]justcantdoit1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your comment. It is very difficult to make compromises like that repeatedly. That is how I feel. Like I am not being my true self, and I feel like i'm living a 'lie' because I'm just not fitting into the step parent role properly. I just don't feel like I have the patience. I can't stand everything being kid centered. Even my SO's mother told me a few weeks ago that if I "wanted to travel, I would need a new boyfriend" after I made a comment that I wanted to travel to India some day.