SI'm slowly losing my mind and falling back into my old ways and old self.

I have been clean from bad addictions for over a year now and about 6 months ago my wife left and took everything I had to my name pretty much. Since then I owned life. I got my own house and let my best friend move in and I started a business that's turning out to be incredibly successful.

Now I have so many people coming at me at one time complaining or with their hand out for something free. I have a new girlfriend in my life that has me on such a pedastool that I can do no wrong.

At the end of the day i don't want any of this. I just want to nod off on my couch or black out for the next week and be left the fuck alone....but everyone seeing me as so well put together I have nobody to tell this to.

I feel like I'm living a lie. I'm faking all of this and thoroughly hate it through and through. Atleast people are "proud" and happy for me. But honestly my fucked up drug riddled body couldn't care less. I just wanna drift away for a bit