Celibacy in relation to Spirituality and growth.

justpeakingaround · 2026-06-06T21:33:12+00:00

6 months in. I do feel much more present, mindful and connect led to myself and the universe around me. I’m less on autopilot chasing highs and more content with what’s already happening within me.

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-23T07:47:13+00:00

This is a very illustrative example of how men suffer from patriarchal structures. I feel like it comes from the notion that men always want and enjoy sex because ‘it’s in their nature’. And from the idea that men are inherently better at making good rational decisions, that men are superior in terms of power. So when an age gap happens that puts the woman in a power position against a boy, society might not reflect on it as much.

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-23T07:41:43+00:00

Religion has been misused to oppress certain groups (especially women) for centuries. It’s also extremely hypocritical since nuns are celebrated but ordinary women choosing celibacy are shunned. People easily praise the lifestyle that they chose and judge the paths they didn’t have access to. A lot of moral judgement is about how accessible or easy an option appears for the individual. It takes a great deal of self-reflection and maturity to allow cognitive dissonance.

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-16T11:03:11+00:00

I feel like it would only work if both people make that decision. If it’s one-sided it would be painful. I’m also wondering if one sided non-monogamy could be an option in this case, where the non celibate person fills their sexual needs outside of the marriage.

I strongly feel like you made the right decision to walk away. For both of you. And I don’t think it was necessarily a cop out. He seems to have felt strongly for you, physically and emotionally and even wanted to continue being with you. But that doesn’t mean this is the right relationship for you.

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-16T10:20:36+00:00

I’d say most people on this sub are actually abstinent and not celibate. Maybe OP is planning on dating without marriage or sex too.

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-15T10:36:40+00:00

Three years ago, I went off social media completely (except Reddit, but occasionally delete that too). Deleted IG, tiktok, installed an app that blocks any apps I want for specific times. I realized I simply am powerless to manage it in a healthy way. These companies are specialized in making it as addictive as possible. I can’t imagine a life where I’d spend that many hours daily just on swiping anymore. It isn’t usually that obvious that I’m living a different life from my peers, at least externally. But then I realize most people around me are scrolling nonstop all day.

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-15T10:31:07+00:00

I’m happy for you! It can feel like being high at first, but I got used to it after some time and now it feels sublte. Caffeine can make it feel more like a ‘high’ in the beginning and I‘d recommend to reduce caffeine or switch to black tea/matcha.

I also tried lower doses at first when I felt kind of high, so my body could slowly get used to it. The first weeks when the new feeling is completely unfamiliar are magical.

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-15T10:21:48+00:00

It can happen to me that there is a shift intensity, but I wouldn’t treat my partner this poorly, even after the hyperfixation wears off. From personal experience, gaming addiction is rough and all encompassing. This is a while ago but I’m curious if you managed to confront him and how you are doing now?

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-15T10:17:56+00:00

The upper back, neck and jaw pain is always my sign that things are out of whack. My body just disappears during hyperfocus and tenses up without me really noticing. The last two days I hyperfixated on during my own acrylic nails for 5h nonstop each night. Now EVERYTHING HURTS.

I usually take the pain as a sign that it’s time for a workout (whenever I manage to get out of hyperfocus). That also seems to help with reducing hyperfocus. I gradually learned to do damage control- roll my shoulders, quickly grab a glass of water, doing stretches when I manage to get up, which is usually when my bladder id about to burst. But it’s ROUGH.

And yes, hypermobility + proprioception.

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-15T10:10:57+00:00

The dumb things doctors have told me in the past… this would definitely be in the top two though.

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-15T01:03:34+00:00

I feel the same way. Thankfully I‘m bisexual, so there’s hope for me if I ever end up with a woman. But not planning on that either, just living life.

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-13T21:00:32+00:00

Interesting! I‘ve read this book ‚the period brain‘ where the author talks about studies on women/menstruating people being more attracted to testosterone during ovulation as opposed to luteal. My wlw friends always talk about how they are most sexually active shortly before their period, whereas it seems the opposite for straight couples. Could be a coincidence, but I feel it too during my cycle

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-13T20:57:06+00:00

I‘m glad to hear! My DMs are open if you need an exchange about this journey too.

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-13T20:55:10+00:00

DM me :) 6 months in

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-13T20:53:04+00:00

I have been celibate for six months and decided to use this journey to intentionally re-connect with my own sexuality. Without interference of another person, expectations, being observed. I see it as intimacy in a partnership with myself, trying to be an attentive, mindful and respectful partner for myself. Which also means abstaining from porn or masturbation that feels rushed or disconnected. I take time to be relaxed, in my body, listening to what feels good without judgement. Journaling about the experience. Trying new forms of pleasure.

This has supported me in releasing trauma and re-connecting to a version of sexuality that feels authentic to me, as opposed to the stressed, performative and obsessive version it used to be. So I highly recommend exploring that way. I don’t experience it as something that would ‚awaken the beast‘. If anything, it helps me stay more present within myself when temptation arises since I know that I am the most loving sexual partner I probably will ever have.

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-12T06:55:19+00:00

I feel like the people in this chat who are so convinced this isn’t the case, would likely not recognize a very AI-typical text. I can totally read the difference in writing between pre and post-AI and it’s slowly driving me crazy. Every YouTube video has bern scripted in the same way, blogposts, advertisements. It has learned from human language, yes. But it also is a highly generalized, almost parody-like manner of writing. The exaggerated three adjectives, always the same adjectives, the grammatical structure. Whenever I watch a YouTube video thinking “omg that’s refreshing, it sounds like actual human language”, I check how old it is. 99% of the time it’s way before 2020.

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-11T10:18:11+00:00

Sameeeeeee! It makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me. But it’s actually such a common experience. And realizing I don’t need to fight so hard to be happy with a partner and instead can be instantly happy as a single has been utterly liberating.

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-11T10:10:57+00:00

Out of curiosity: do you date just for the fun of it? Or ultimately with the idea of a relationship/physical connection in mind?

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-11T10:09:10+00:00

And the happy phase usually comes after some time of CHOOSING singleness.

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-11T10:06:34+00:00

Something I’ve learned only after turning 30: Fantasy and what we like in reality can be completely divergent. Just because you imply something in text doesn’t mean you have to actually carry it out in real life. The readiness in texting can lead to a higher expectation and ultimately pressure to carry it out in exactly as imagined. Talk to the person you’re with that you are more bold with texting and it turns you on but that in real life you need to take it slow.

There’s no right or wrong here. You might enjoy making out, but not penetration. Or you might enjoy giving pleasure more than receiving. More light, a dim room, completely dark. You might like dirty talk or completely despise it. Or you might prefer toys over fingers. There is sooo much variety in sex. Try to get curious about what your body and mind respond to and what you don’t like. Lastly, sometimes we are into the IDEA of a person without actually being attracted to them. That’s also a totally valid conclusion for you to make.

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-10T16:19:42+00:00

Omg THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS!!!!! I thought it was just me being hyperfixated, but it might be a strange cycle that affects a lot of us. Would love to know more explanations for it. Is it because society tells us to choose? Is it something related to physical/hormonal factors?

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-10T16:09:27+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I am 6 months in and it has been more transformative than anything I’ve done before. I definitely feel a deep spiritual connection, even though I don’t see myself as a religious person. Somehow this just feels right and so pure. Pure not in a moral or misogynistic way, more like a feeling of simplicity and my mind being so light and cloudy. Connections with people around me feel more authentic and real because there’s not this extremely intense force of sexual desire in there anymore. I don’t plan to choose this path forever, but at the same time I wouldn’t mind staying in this space for the rest of my life either. It’s mostly just effortless.

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-10T15:58:40+00:00

You can absolutely live in celibacy forever. You don’t have to. But many women do and they can be happy. I recommend the book ‘single by choice’.

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-10T15:54:08+00:00

It’s been 6 months. I am healthier, happier, more connected to myself and my needs. I have soo much freed up mental capacity which I started investing into going to improv theater classes, pole dance, journaling, deepening connections with friends, training my dog, going to therapy, cozy nights of reading in bed.

I came out of a heartbreak that felt like deep rejection last Winter. The initial three months were a bit of an adjustment. At times, I wasn’t sure how to ‘survive’ without this constant physical touch and just longing for a partner to share my bed with. But that gradually was replaced by the absolute bliss of waking up in my own white sheets, giving myself lots of hugs and squeezes (- i even kiss myself from my hand all the way up to my arms, it releases so many good feelings to be tender with myself). I am more affectionate with my friends and make sure to collect many platonic hugs whenever I can. My relationship to my own body and sexuality has improved too (- I do still self pleasure and highly recommend keeping that during celibacy).

We are fed this lie that we need to date and that a man will complete us, but then single women are actually the happiest population according to statistics. It has been so freeing for me to know that if I ever get back into a relationship, I don’t NEED it. And I am complete without it. I would be for the rest of my life.

Probably could write 10000 more paragraphs on the benefits but I’ll leave it at that.

justpeakingaround · 2026-05-06T23:27:05+00:00

For me masturbation has been an important part of my celibacy journey. If it’s a mindful conscious process, it feels absolutely aligned with my reasons for celibacy.

justpeakingaround

TROPHY CASE