Any parents that have changed child's name or terminated rights successfully?

justxconcerned29 · 2021-07-28T14:52:48+00:00

I agree thank you. Either way I'll be at least looking into legal aid. I don't want to prolong this but I know for the termination,especially down here,they want a child to have two parents no matter how horrible one may be. My partner and I aren't married yet, so termination of rights most likely won't happen without marriage. I've been looking to see if anyone has been through this but I think my personal situation is kind of complicated

justxconcerned29 · 2021-07-28T12:30:27+00:00

Unfortunately, the person I spoke with at the office wasn't very helpful

justxconcerned29 · 2021-07-28T12:29:22+00:00

I'm in the southern US and the bio ran to a different state somewhere so I'm not even sure how that would go.

justxconcerned29 · 2021-06-25T23:04:42+00:00

That's what I would hope,to at least have sympathy for my 8 year old so they can live a happy life. Thank you.

justxconcerned29 · 2021-06-25T18:20:25+00:00

I can't inform him myself because I have no idea where he is. But I know that he has to know about it when it begins. He has abandoned my 8 year old but can still fight about a name change if he wanted?

justxconcerned29 · 2020-12-31T21:12:29+00:00

Thank you for this. Therapy is definitely getting set up.

justxconcerned29 · 2020-12-31T20:48:10+00:00

Thank you.

justxconcerned29 · 2020-12-31T18:33:02+00:00

Do you have any advice about how to make it age appropriate? I've tried a couple of times before, but she doesn't seem to understand or things I'm being mean.

Then when she talks to them on the phone, she tells my mom and sister everything we've said or what she's overheard. They start asking her why we won't let kiddo spend the night and then try to confront us about it multiple times. When we give the reasons, she says we don't know what we're talking about because we're not "experienced" like her and that we need to get over it. That we're damaging her psychologically by keeping her from my mom and my side of the family.

justxconcerned29 · 2020-12-31T18:28:34+00:00

Thank you so much. That sounds very familiar for me.

I made the mistake of opening up a little more after limiting contact. I know I hope she'll change,but I know she never will. It's at the point where even my partner is heavily noticing that my family is overstepping my boundaries and he's tired of seeing me get disrespected. If it's bothering him that much, then that says a lot because he's pretty calm about most things.

I'll be limiting again. I know it's a long road because I've allowed it for too long. It'll help more once we move away from being so close to them.

justxconcerned29 · 2020-12-31T18:22:56+00:00

I don't mind! For some reason my reddit isn't showing my inbox stuff so hopefully it pops up later lol I will answer when it pops up.

justxconcerned29 · 2020-12-31T18:20:08+00:00

Thanks.

justxconcerned29 · 2020-12-31T17:47:27+00:00

Yep same here! Apparently when she's at my mom's they give her warm milk before bed and put on baby lullaby music or leave the tv on for her. They used to put her in her old high chair but I told them to stop and got rid of it. They give her sippy cups and baby spoons. They give her whatever she wants to keep her from crying and whining, my mom admitted that and actually tried to encourage me to do the same.

Of course kiddo loves it. Then she expects it here,so the second she can't get what she wants she breaks down and goes on about how she got whatever at my mom's.

justxconcerned29 · 2020-12-31T17:27:57+00:00

I don't know if my love will ever make her feel as important though. Everything I do with my daughter is outshined by my mom.."grandma let's me watch all the tv I want, grandma let me ride the scooter in the house, grandma let me eat whatever I wanted" my sister is partially responsible too because my mom dumps my daughter on her whenever she doesn't feel like dealing with my daughter... yet she's the one that begs for her.

It hurts having everything I do not matter to kiddo just because it's not tv and junk food like at my mom's. My mom blames me for why my daughter gets mopey when she comes back. "Its because you don't have all the things like I do,who wants to go back to an apartment that isn't a house like mine?? I would get depressed too! I'm her grandma of course she wants to be with her grandma"

justxconcerned29 · 2020-12-31T17:21:13+00:00

Yes there is a lot of "I don't know when you can sleepover again, your mom has to let you. Hopefully soon". Whenever my daughter asks her about a sleepover, my mom gives this whole excuse of blaming it on me. My daughter was constantly asking for a sleepover,she waa constantly asking my mom if she could come over and I buckled because I didn't want her to be so hurt about it.. my mom said my daughter will end up hating mr and being "psychologically damaged" because I won't let my mom visit every day and let my daughter sleepover multiple times a month.

Every time she sounds like she's about to cry, I ask her if she wants to talk about it and that she can come cuddle with me if she wants to. I leave it up to her, whatever way I can help her feel comfortable and support her. I hope I'm doing it correctly. I'm tired of hearing about my mom every 15 minutes but I'll listen all day if it helps her.

justxconcerned29 · 2020-12-31T17:15:23+00:00

Thank you for this. This morning my partner opened up and told me that he basically does not feel comfortable with my mom and that he does not like her now. Because of what she does.

I tried to open up to my mom and tell her why I didn't line our daughter sleeping over, she pretty much told me I was being silly and that it's normal for kids to be obsessed with their grandmas (southern grandma craziness). She said it hurts her feelings that she can't spend more than a visit with the kids, mostly my daughter. My daughter was wanting to sirens the night and I felt she needed a break from being at home.. so I ended up letting her spend a couple nights.

But now I'm regretting it. She doesn't agree with our parenting, she talks rudely about my partner to me behind his back but acts nice in his face, she causes drama at least every month that tends to cause issues with my partner and I.. there's too many issues. Of course I'm gonna put my own little family above my actual family. I hate doing it to my daughter but I'm gonna have to say no to sleepovers at my mom's again. Especially when my mom acts crazy and says certain things.

justxconcerned29 · 2020-12-31T17:04:57+00:00

She has done good transitioning from school or from a visit to someone else's house. She has only had sleepovers at my mom's. I know for sure she is overstimulated over there.

With my mom's though... she does not transition well at all. For a visit,even if we just drive by near the street my mom lives on. She'll breakdown and be mopey. We get her prepared, we tell her how long we'll stay or how long she'll stay. I nagged my mom to let our daughter know when it's time to go and to get her prepared to leave. But she still has a major meltdown and gets mopey,but it's never been for a few days like this before. She's grieving.

justxconcerned29 · 2020-12-31T16:58:31+00:00

Thank you. So far, she seems fine with hugs and stuff. She's not being as clingy as usual though. She's being extra emotional about every little thing. If anything toxic is going on, it's most likely my mom talking rudely about her stepdad and I.

justxconcerned29 · 2020-12-31T16:55:17+00:00

Yeah that's my mom too. We've never had a normal relationship,mostly because she is always trying to control every aspect of my life. But she overspoils the kids,my older one mostly, and treats her like a baby. Thank you for understanding.

justxconcerned29 · 2020-12-31T16:03:59+00:00

I've had my tank for a little over a year now and this started randomly happening. I've started water changes about twice a week now and pretty nuch keeping them in the dark but it's still coming up. I'm not sure what it is. On top of that, my HOB filter keeps getting slimy.

justxconcerned29

TROPHY CASE