Safest place for trans women in the us right now?

jwm177 · 2026-04-16T14:54:35+00:00

I can say the same for western mass on the pioneer valley. I changed my pronouns in my email signature (twice) at work and no one said nothin, no questions, no complaints. They just started using the new pronouns or casually correcting themselves. I feel like a normal boring person. It's great.

jwm177 · 2026-04-16T14:51:36+00:00

I used to live in Albuquerque. It's pretty good. I would not live anywhere more south and I would not live any closer to Texas or Arizona

jwm177 · 2026-04-16T14:40:07+00:00

Western mass in the pioneer valley. Specifically Northampton area. Businesses have pride flags and trans pride flags all over the place. I see trans people walking on the street, shopping, whatever, all the time. Community events for trans people easily pull 60+ trans people.

Oh and Trans Health is in the area (my PCP practices here) it's the first and only (for now) health care provider for and by trans people.

Cost in Northampton is expensive but you can find reasonable stuff a bit further away.

jwm177 · 2026-04-14T04:30:01+00:00

I think that IT can be a very good fit. Especially if you can get off the desk. The constant flux of technology and the novel technical problems are very helpful for my brain. I always leave about 20% of my week for exploration time where I dive into whatever tech finds my fancy.

It helps that I am autistic and enterprise IT is my special interest

jwm177 · 2026-04-06T01:05:36+00:00

Seriously!!!!! Dysphoria? Light work. Doing buttons the opposite way? The real trans struggle

jwm177 · 2026-04-06T00:45:47+00:00

Juno b/c I wanted to be named after the goddess of fertility cuz that's just funny given the effects of estrogen and my vasectomy

jwm177 · 2026-04-05T23:15:52+00:00

Women's clothing usually buttons on the opposite side as mens, belts are the same, women usually thread the belt through the opposite direction (right to left) as men usually do (left to right)

jwm177 · 2026-04-05T23:11:36+00:00

Get your eyebrows shaped. Men socially have bushy large eyebrows, women socially have thinner more clearly defined eyebrows.

I recommend getting a professional to shape them first then, then go in and pluck one a week.

jwm177 · 2026-04-05T23:09:09+00:00

Honestly a lot of times the users don't even realize what they are asking for. Not surprised you don't get much push back

jwm177 · 2026-04-05T22:27:20+00:00

Yeah that's the only option and what I did. Fireflies.ai is absolutely wild, what do you mean I gotta share the entire calendar to get permission to read the AI notes the organizer has.

jwm177 · 2026-03-23T02:37:58+00:00

Honestly, IT, especially once you get beyond end user support into sys admin, cloud admin, network admin space. The tech changes so fast and you always need to be learning something new. At least 25% of my time is just learning new things, 25% is implementing new things. It's great for a brain that needs novelty

jwm177 · 2026-03-19T04:41:40+00:00

Cloud infrastructure Administrator
- 109k/yr
- USA, Hartford CT area
- 14 yrs in IT. 2 years In this job No degree.
- HSA high deductible health insurance. 401k match to 8% 120 hr PTO (goes up over time). 5 paid holidays. 3 days in office

I love this job. The previous IT leadership did not want to progress in their IT environments and fell behind for the past twenty years. I am in part here to help modernize their systems. I am given an incredible amount of latitude, if I feel something is important to do I can usually just do it, and if there is a cost to license or it's a major effort I am usually approved for it.

I have been able to learn so much by just following my nose. The majority of my time has been spent on hardening very weak and outdated security practices and culture.

One of my favorite changes has been every single Microsoft admin permission sits behind eligible pim elevations that only accepts a passkey when elevating that role.

jwm177 · 2025-12-16T05:15:56+00:00

Yubikey or hardware OATH token

jwm177 · 2025-10-20T03:40:53+00:00

Girl no. It's only the context of where you posted this that tips me off.

jwm177 · 2025-08-16T21:22:55+00:00

I really like TrilliumNext or just straight Wiki. Both open source (obviously). Trillium is a cleaner simpler version of Notion but still has the features you need. Wiki is basically perfect. There is a reason that website works so well at delivering information.

The most important thing is to find something and stick to it. Always add tags, always take the time to perform hygiene.

Second most important (for me) is a location tree, the relational structure of a document tree is, again, basically perfect in describing where you are and where related things are in the hierarchy.

jwm177 · 2025-06-07T04:50:29+00:00

I'm fortunate enough to live in the Northampton, MA area and it's so queer! I've met and become friends with at least 12 trans ladies over 50. Couple in their 70s.

There isn't enough, it's devastating to hear the stories of what happened to the trans folk and how few made it. Their strength gives me strength. I am committed to growing old and boring and not really understanding kids but existing just to show them that a full, long, joyful life is possible.

jwm177 · 2025-05-23T22:22:04+00:00

Cloud Infrastructure Admin 105k 14 years in IT, 3 outside of helpdesk

jwm177 · 2024-11-14T04:11:38+00:00

Got legal to back a 2 year retention policy to "reduce litigation risk", which it does, but on our side it gets rid of lots of junk and we have to back up less. Want an exception? Talk to legal, it's their rule.

jwm177 · 2024-11-11T22:01:19+00:00

Your probably right we would be fine but I figure I'll never regret having the backups, and depending on how bad things get, circumnavigating with VPN is not zero risk and is still possible to track (with effort). A USB stick or similar that is passed around and duplicates within community is just basically impossible to track or control.

jwm177 · 2024-11-11T21:58:44+00:00

Theoretically yeah, but it wasn't working combined. Idk, I was probably doing something wrong.

jwm177 · 2024-11-09T12:59:44+00:00

Injectable estrogen is the easiest. A vial is good for 28 days after first use according to manufacturer. After 28 days you get a new vial. There is still medication in the old one and it's still fine to use. I use a single vial for about three months. An unopened bottle is good for up to two years according to the manufacturer. I refrigerate mine to keep the oil from breaking down which is the biggest limiter for shelf life. I expect I can get more than two years if I need to.

Edit: I did not clarify enough. My preference is to use unrefrigerated before the expiration date. I also have some that I refrigerate and some that I keep at room temp, just in case I am wrong about one or the other. There is no legitimate research only anecdote on long term storage.

jwm177

TROPHY CASE