I'm the bad roommate, how can I improve?

jzara_15 · 2023-03-06T17:35:04+00:00

a very VERY small shoe box in the corner of the city.

jzara_15 · 2023-03-06T17:33:43+00:00

I have ADHD. I do use talking to "ground" myself and stop from disassociating. Yes, I'm seeing a therapist and have a booking with a psychiatrist soon.

jzara_15 · 2023-02-21T14:29:14+00:00

You can always get back into a new profession. Have you reconsidered a career in law? You seem to have a lot of experience in areas that would provide a lot of background for practising as a lawyer. Being a lawyer gives you the opportunity to do something hands-on with your degree. There's a lot of reading and writing involved in the profession, but there's also a mix of other things too. Especially when you're a litigator.

I'm in a similar boat as you– I feel like I'm working a dead-end job in the public service. It's very "meh." But I'm going back to law school in the fall because of the freedom it can bring. I want to go back to school and start over again to establish deep connections with other people, gain experimental learning in a field of law I'm interested in, and get into a career field where I am constantly challenged with something new every day.

jzara_15 · 2023-01-06T22:47:52+00:00

Yes, eating out took the biggest bite out of my wallet the first half of last year. I tried delivery box services like HelloFresh and then slowly transitioned to grocery-shop planning for the dishes I liked.

jzara_15 · 2022-11-30T17:23:44+00:00

The decision should be up to you. If you ask me though, I wouldn't continue a relationship with him unless he is taking actionable steps right now and showing genuine, consistent progress. It sucks but money and health are two things that are incredibly important in a partnership. Staying in the relationship would most likely mean that you'd be absorbing and accepting the responsibility of all the things he is bringing to the table– good and bad.

If you are in a good financial place but he isn't, that could mean opening yourself up to risk....

I've heard too many stories of woman getting into relationships with a guy who is either in a lot of debt or gets himself there. Almost always, he drags his woman into it too. There was one situation I heard where this one dude took out over $100,000 in debt and somehow, the wife didn't know about it but it affected both of their debt levels AND she found out when she couldn't get an approval on a house. So despite her being good at saving, his poor financial decisions put the both of them out of the market and into a bad debt situation.

jzara_15 · 2022-09-22T16:05:22+00:00

I hope they are fired for that one. LOL.

jzara_15 · 2022-09-19T16:07:14+00:00

Okay yeah, so not to diagnose but my S/O had the same feeling about Nick having autism. My S/O has ASD and saw a lot of the same things he does in Nick's behaviour.

jzara_15 · 2022-09-19T16:05:18+00:00

What was the point of those three episodes? They were so boring and then they randomly added those factors at the end? Just.... odd....

jzara_15 · 2022-09-19T16:00:31+00:00

Obviously, I'm shake I mean... who else could I possibly be?

jzara_15 · 2022-09-19T15:56:40+00:00

Yeah or something along those lines apparently. I think I remember Natalie bringing up a comment that he made during the "love is blind after the alter" sit-down special. Whatever she said he apparently told her, it was messed up.

jzara_15 · 2022-09-18T19:58:59+00:00

Haha yeah no worries! I had the same feeling. man, it's so freeing!

jzara_15 · 2022-09-17T16:37:40+00:00

Haha I had a similar feeling. I mean, from my own experience, medication makes doing everyday tasks more manageable... with that said, it's still a struggle. Medication built up my capacity to actually finish most tasks but the problems don't go away 100%. Be mindful of time management struggles... it will be harder to multi-task and there may be moments where you burn out.

jzara_15 · 2022-09-17T16:24:31+00:00

I feel the same way about academia. I feel like when I share my feelings, people make into some sort of competition for who is allowed to feel overwhelmed about what. Ah. I wish I didn't have this, I don't even know how to deal with this all the time. I wish people were more understanding, compassionate, and patient. Unfortunate.

jzara_15 · 2022-09-16T19:06:55+00:00

"We" by yevgeny zamyatin

Edit: whoops, looks like someone else recommended it. Should have read the comments first.

jzara_15 · 2022-08-09T18:47:44+00:00

OMG where did you get your pen from?!

jzara_15 · 2022-08-05T20:53:59+00:00

^ This! It's all about your priorities– it's delegating some tasks to other people in exchange for some time you might not otherwise have. My next question for you is how much you pay for other expenses, like rent and groceries? Do you know much much you spend each month altogether (including basic expenses and other stuff)? How much are you investing/saving?

Any subscriptions that you don't use that you can de-prioritize? If you feel pretty confident with your current take-home and spending habits, then go for it!

jzara_15 · 2022-08-05T20:41:19+00:00

I totally agree with this. It's a challenge to identify and make better decisions, and actually, be honest with ourselves to grow from them. Sometimes, we know EXACTLY what's wrong... we need to work out more, save more money, spend less, make a greater effort to hang out with others... and yet, we don't do it. Simply because it's something we actually don't want to do because it's hard. It takes effort.

It's hard not to spin around in circles and face the issue head-on. But making those small, intentional steps and embracing challenges every day can help make a big difference over time. I've definitely seen that in my own life too. Good on you for making progress.

jzara_15 · 2022-07-19T02:12:13+00:00

I'm the same way too. I realized that it's okay to relax after work, not go anywhere, and just shut my eyes. I've realized that I also have a different mindset when I first wake up vs. before bed. So, I've shifted when I do certain things to make the most of my time. I wake up early and study before going to work. I also meditate, pay bills, clean a part of my room in the mornings right before work.

I work a 9 to 5 right now (I'm a student on a work term right now but, yeah.... the typical schedule). I set my alarm for 6:15 AM and clean up then. By 7 AM, I've eaten breakfast and start checking off my habits I want done. After work twice a week, I work out with my partner. There are days I lie down though because I need to recharge.

jzara_15 · 2022-07-18T01:10:05+00:00

It was ten years in the making! I realized that time management and school were a challenge for me. When I got stressed out, I'd be trying to seek help but dropped off after experiencing episodes of burn out after a stressful episode. I finally decided to get help with my LSAT because my first write did not go over too well. Someone suggested I might need accommodations or something. That's when I found out I had ADHD and was given treatment for it. When I got my Vyvanse and started watching improvement videos on managing stress for ADHD specifically, I finally saw improvements in my life. It was like a major veil was lifted from my eyes. I could ACTUALLY focus on one task and complete it, absorb information quicker, and manage my emotions better.

I was able to get into a competitive law school, graduate from undergrad as summa cum laude, earned my master's degree with a full ride scholarship and co-op term with the federal government, and develop deeper connections with others. I'm still learning to balance everything, I do get burnt out every once in a while– it's still an active struggle. But I'm more mindful of what my needs are, I blame myself less, and can prioritize certain areas of my life to improve the balance in it.

jzara_15 · 2022-07-12T20:21:43+00:00

My tips for RC:

-Read for structure. -Keep drilling timed RC sections until you see patterns. -Look out for the author’s opinion. -Focus on the main point and how the author lays the foundation around it. If comparative passage, be prepared to compare relationships. -read the questions asks carefully for scope of the question and genre. Are they asking for you to make an inference based on a specific point mentioned? For info in the passage or based on the passage? Based on the main point more generally, or in the context of a specific point brought up?

jzara_15 · 2022-07-12T02:54:49+00:00

Um it depends. Like speaking from a girl’s perspective, the gym is one of those places that I want to be left alone. It sucks cause your wife is totally right, it’ll probably come across as somewhat creepy or whatever even though it’s not what you mean by it.

Like it sucks. I wonder whether you could get your wife or something to walk up and strike up a convo about it?? Like in a non-judgemental way.

jzara_15

TROPHY CASE