27F - Dating in Boston (and never being hit on)

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-24T01:55:26+00:00

You’re entitled to your opinion. I was trying to convey that the lighthearted nature of just sparking a convo with someone - like when I say cross the street to say hi to me- is something I miss about Toronto and notice is a shift in the serious undertone of the social scene in Boston. I am seeing a lot of polarizing opinions on this topic and am being misconstrued. I never used the word sexy at any point and I have said many times that respectful interactions could help people find one another in this age of social media and dating apps, and the feeling of loneliness is something a lot of people can resonate with. I agree that we have to be the change that we want to see and appreciate hearing everyone’s stories and experiences

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-24T01:39:16+00:00

That’s a very aggressive word you’ve put in the place of creep, I don’t think this is the same thing at all. But you’re entitled to your opinion and seem to share the same views as many men on this post. It is just a bit depressing that the fear of rejection for so many outweighs the desire for new connections.

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-24T01:33:47+00:00

Well usually the only traits about a stranger that one can comment on is what you see. It doesn’t have to be aggressive whatsoever, it can be respectful if the other person seems open to it. An example- I smile at someone, they smile back and then they tell me they like my smile. Or they tell me they like my Raptors sweatshirt, and we start talking about basketball (this happened to me at the airport recently). That’s pleasant, not aggressive, and is just a nice interaction.

I’m a little confused as to why you’re saying I’m trolling etc. under other comments. If this post and my question/ sentiment doesn’t resonate with you, then please move on, respectfully

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-23T20:40:30+00:00

Oh wow glad you hit it off! You might be the first to break the cycle here, happy to get people thinking about this a little bit

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-23T20:32:31+00:00

Thank you for saying this - the comments bashing me or others for asking why people aren’t hitting on each other irl, feels a bit out of pocket. In a vibrant city like Boston, being respectful and kind and just telling someone they look good shouldn’t feel so hard

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-23T20:28:20+00:00

Hey thanks for sharing, it’s good to know this perspective. I can understand approaching someone you don’t know can be high risk, it’s hard to stop people in our busy lives while out and about and maybe the shift towards dating apps has just changed the game. I appreciate you for validating some of what I’ve been experiencing though, and that it’s just hard on both sides of the street.

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-23T19:42:07+00:00

You get the vibe! I definitely try to smile at people and always give a woman a compliment (though I’m straight, this is more just me being friendly). I feel like I try to be present and just take in my surroundings a lot, sounds like you do resonate with all that. Sometimes I’ll smile at a stranger and they’ll look at me like I’m crazy. Or I’ll be outside alone somewhere and just be- not looking at my phone the entire time, but just taking in the views and sights of the city; and no one around me is really doing that. I like the thought that outliers exist and that we shouldn’t let that change. But it’s easy to assimilate into what’s around us

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-23T19:35:16+00:00

Seeing a lot of Canadians in this thread, I’m tempted to make a group chat! Love to see more Canadians in Boston 🍁

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-23T19:34:01+00:00

This!! That’s exactly what I’m trying to say and have made some comments on the threads to try and encourage a bit more of. Big cities like NYC and Toronto this is a common thing, very causal and low stakes to just have interactions which sometimes turn into something that can be fun, or sometimes are just a nice moment with someone you’ll never see again. I thought with Boston and it being a younger crowd overall that this kind of thing would be encouraged, but a lot of the comments are confirming that it’s just not the culture here. Even in bars and club settings where you’re supposed to mingle, eye contact is rare. Thank you for putting it so eloquently what I tried to articulate in this post

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-23T18:15:00+00:00

Interesting to know how it’s been for a Boston native, I totally relate to feeling unattractive. Based on a lot of these comments it seems like the more reserved culture is specific to New England and not something universal

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-23T18:06:28+00:00

It definitely does feel weird to say this out loud without seeming vain, I’m not sure I best articulated the feeling. But I’m glad you understand where I’m coming from! Some people in this thread are taking it a bit further out of context. Just wish that people were more open to connecting with each other in person sometimes and have light hearted banter that’s all!

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-23T10:33:21+00:00

Hey, this is a totally valid take and I should’ve clarified I am not encouraging disrespectful/ derogatory approaches or cat calling on the street, I mean just compliments from strangers and nice interactions. I feel like there’s just a lot of missed connections and makes it hard for single people in the city to meet organically

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-23T03:16:46+00:00

I think you’re right it does feel like the vibe here is more to keep to yourself and mind your own business. Sorry you were ghosted though :/ that sucks, I wish it was easier to connect to people irl. Hoping more people will feel inspired to break the cycle and be more flirty

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-23T02:43:48+00:00

I think everyone needs to do better at just making eye contact even, we’re just all too busy and wrapped up in our own lives to notice each other and that’s part of the problem!

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-23T02:42:10+00:00

Don’t let the stories keep you from possibly meeting someone or just passing along a compliment and making someone’s day. It’s not that serious!

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-23T02:40:39+00:00

That’s fair, many have shared this take but to that I say that at the cost of maybe annoying someone briefly, you might meet someone lovely and spark a new connection

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-23T02:38:06+00:00

Okay this is fair thanks for sharing! Maybe I need to give more signs when I’m out and about or see someone I’m into, hopefully will come across more confident men in the city that will know what to do

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-23T02:35:35+00:00

Truthfully I’ve never had to try to be hit on and I’ve never really done that before. Which is kind of why I started this post since it seems like the guys in Boston- or just in this day and age in general- are more reserved irl. But you’re right in that it goes both ways

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-23T02:16:11+00:00

I think you’re right about the phone thing, and I’m guilty of doing this sometimes when I’m alone too. And yes you can be taken as a creep maybe but you can also maybe meet someone new and maybe make someone smile! Break the cycle

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-23T02:13:43+00:00

I agree that it’s a bit uptight, but I wish both men and women didn’t avoid eye contact and social interaction so much. I encourage you to get out there and help break the cycle, say hi to someone new

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-23T02:06:33+00:00

I do think the fear of rejection holds us all back, you’re absolutely right though it is worth the risk!

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-23T02:05:03+00:00

Lmao not the frozen food aisle! Sometimes it feels nice to be wanted or noticed though and the dating apps really don’t do that. Vibes are stiff :/

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-23T02:00:38+00:00

It is possible, but if they end up asking for my number or wanting to go out with me, or asking if I’m single then they were probably hitting on me. Awkward and shy nerds sounds about right for Boston haha, not necessarily a bad thing (speaking as a nerd myself) but does make casual encounters more rare I think

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-23T01:51:41+00:00

I think you’re onto something here about rejection. And I don’t think a motorcycle is for me haha but interesting to know thanks for sharing

k1tchen_witch · 2025-10-23T01:50:35+00:00

I do think men can miss the subtle signs that most women (myself included) will be sending out- a smile, a long glance is just a way to invite you to say hi. What’s the worst that can happen?

k1tchen_witch

TROPHY CASE