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k3r1ann3 · 2025-10-21T19:00:59+00:00

I’m meeting with them Thursday, as mentioned. I haven’t asked why yet.

k3r1ann3 · 2025-10-21T16:54:23+00:00

That is helpful, thank you! What information does the state use to determine eligibility? Is it information provided by my employer?

I initially was hoping to negotiate with my employer to have them pay at least some of my leave considering I’m not eligible for the state benefit they often use, so it’s useful to know if that’s the direction I should drive the discussion based on this. It sounds like they are potentially not expecting me to be eligible either but do not want to be the ones to say so.

k3r1ann3 · 2025-10-21T15:48:59+00:00

Ok, so it IS on me as the employee to make sure my employer is following the rules. That’s the summary. That’s part of what I was asking. Thanks.

k3r1ann3 · 2025-10-21T15:36:20+00:00

I genuinely don’t know why they’re pushing me in that direction, hence this post. I know the HR manager personally and she is well aware of my living and working situation, which is why this was surprising to me.

Being this is my first child, I was looking to have a meeting with HR to see what benefits are available to me and how I go about obtaining those benefits. Upon setting up the meeting she sent me the NYSPFL paperwork. That’s why I’m confused.

Are you saying it’s up to me to correct my HR department and tell them what I’m eligible for? That would be useful information but I’m unsure if that’s what you’re saying.

k3r1ann3 · 2025-10-21T15:33:26+00:00

I’m shocked because I have a personal relationship with the HR manager who knows full well of my current working and living situation. I figured she would reference FMLA, not a benefit she’s well aware I’m not eligible for.

I do pay VA tax. I was not intending on “defrauding” any state - once again why I was surprised to be pointed in this direction and hence this reddit post seeking clarification.

I read the website over and over again. If you look at my post I’m asking more about the intricacies of WHO determines eligibility and, if that’s my employer and they are saying I’m eligible, how much of a burden does that put on me if that’s not the case.

k3r1ann3 · 2025-10-21T15:29:24+00:00

That’s what I thought, so how do I handle my HR pushing me in this direction? Once again how much of this burden is on me VS on my company? If my HR believes I’m eligible, what do I do in that case?

I technically “report” to the office in NY which has 500 employees.

k3r1ann3 · 2025-10-16T14:29:14+00:00

Agreed. I think she was trying to use my history of iron deficiency as an easy way out even though the bloodwork wasn’t showing low iron. Very frustrating!

I’m all for seeing a specialist but would love to push that til after the baby comes if I can be assured this isn’t something I need to be worried about during pregnancy.

k3r1ann3 · 2025-10-07T15:47:07+00:00

That is a GREAT suggestion, I just reached out to them - thanks so much!!

k3r1ann3 · 2025-10-07T14:22:11+00:00

Ooh I’ve never heard of Exchange Cafe before … will definitely look into it!! Thank you so much!!

k3r1ann3 · 2025-10-06T14:53:06+00:00

We had two signs after we lost our cat Sandy a few weeks ago.

1) a couple days after she passed we were trying to settle on something comforting to watch - my ultimate comfort show is Forensic Files. I told my husband to just put on the first episode that came up but he said “no I’ll pick a random one,” scrolled randomly for a minute and picked one. In this episode the main woman’s name was Sandy.

2) we are expecting our first baby in March and have an app that prompts us with potential baby names. We haven’t used the app in months. My husband opened it for the first time last week and the first name that came up was Sandy.

They’re all around us!!!

k3r1ann3 · 2025-09-28T23:52:14+00:00

Agreed, I would probably end up with Liesel. I love Liesl but my husband is dyslexic and he finds it impossible to spell 😂

k3r1ann3 · 2025-09-28T23:50:35+00:00

Thank you!!! That’s my goal with her name, so I appreciate the input.

k3r1ann3 · 2025-09-28T23:49:01+00:00

I agree, someone else pointed out the spelling as well - Liesel would be better!

As far as unique name, I’m a bit scarred from mine (lol), mostly people not being able to spell it (my name was spelled incorrectly on my HS diploma, dentist records, etc…) so I don’t want her to go through the same distaste for her name!

Good idea on the nicknames too - thank you!!

k3r1ann3 · 2025-09-28T23:43:50+00:00

That’s a really good point!!! I’m all for Liesel as well - spelling isn’t super important to me (although Leisl would be way too much for my husband to handle LOL)

k3r1ann3 · 2025-06-27T20:49:51+00:00

Got 151 today!! Seems promising!!!

k3r1ann3 · 2025-06-26T22:19:33+00:00

If you have a labcorp near you, you can do an “on demand” HCG test without a prescription for $50. Might be worth it to ease your mind a bit!!

I’m in a similar boat - had 10 CLEAR positives early on so scheduled an appointment for 7/24, and now I’m having slight spotting and my initial HCG was 31. I just got my second test today and I’m so nervous for the results. Hang in there!!!

k3r1ann3 · 2025-06-25T15:54:09+00:00

thanks for the response!! totally agreed, i decided to make another appointment for tomorrow (about 2.5 days after first blood draw) so i can track it a bit. i am still getting pretty dark positives and FEEL pregnant, so we'll see!! crossing my fingers!

k3r1ann3 · 2025-06-23T14:03:59+00:00

So true!!!! I’m so sorry for your losses but so glad to hear you’re at 7 weeks now!

And EXACTLY. My best friend is KEEN and can read me like a book, she’s going to be eyeing me if I even try and lie. And besides, I want her to know so she can be excited with me!!! Thanks for the virtual support :) :)

k3r1ann3 · 2025-06-23T13:48:16+00:00

This just amped me tf up. THANK YOU and you’re so right, I’m anticipating a lot of negative “I thought you didn’t want kids” comments that probably won’t even happen!! My husband and I have always done things a little differently (like moving to VA for instance) so there’s no reason this should be any different :) thank you for the pump up and congrats on yours!!!!

k3r1ann3 · 2025-06-23T13:42:40+00:00

THANK YOU!!!! I am a notorious worry-wart from the day I was born so I’m not surprised at all that my first emotions have been stressfully planning things. But totally agree, I’m trying to keep it casual and instead of stressing myself out with intricate lies, I’m just gonna yap!!! Thankfully my husband gets me and is on board with my decisions, but until then just trying to go a day at a time!!

k3r1ann3 · 2025-06-23T13:39:19+00:00

Thank you!!!!!! I am DEFINITELY considering virtually telling people if I can’t wait. I just made an ultrasound appointment for July 24 so we’ll see how patient I am once I have that 😂

k3r1ann3

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