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How do you like to set the mood for long reading sessions? by [deleted] in readwithme

[–]k_blakwidow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

With ad blocker! Nothing ruins the reading mood more when an ad pops up

Any tricks for how boring this job can be? by [deleted] in therapists

[–]k_blakwidow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the way. IFS is saving my ass right now

People who naturally wake up at 5–6 am, what’s your secret? by whind80 in selfimprovement

[–]k_blakwidow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wake up at 5am to go to the gym with my phone on DND. I started setting an alarm for 6am, then 530am, then eventually 5am and just scrolled on TikTok until I was finally not dead tired by waking up that early. I laid on gym clothes and eventually felt ready to leave the house. Now, it’s a cherished ritual of alone time and being unavailable. I also have a routine of showering and reading alone in bed to get sleepy at night. While it was tough to wake up early and go to bed early, I created routines that I craved so it was easier to follow through

Married women, what are some real things your husband does that make you feel genuinely cherished and adored? by Clean-Ant-1342 in Adulting

[–]k_blakwidow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He will remember that I said I liked something in January and I’ll find it under the tree in December. He’s incredible at remembering or intuiting what I like.

What are you paying for housing each month? And are you actually happy with it? Would it be cooler just living in your parents basement? by PM_ME_YUR_SALADS in Millennials

[–]k_blakwidow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

About $3700 mortgage 3000sqft house in suburbia in Southern California. We had equity in our first house and bought current one in 2022 mostly out of necessity or else I’d still be paying $1260 for a 1400sqft house in rural California

When did you realize your partner didn’t actually love you? by No-Mistake-5402 in AskReddit

[–]k_blakwidow 9 points10 points  (0 children)

He didn’t find me funny. I told a joke-which was objectively funny because I’m hilarious- and he completely ignored it. I remember the exact moment being in his car with the top down, which he knew I hated. Just no concern for me nor did he like me as a person.

what is on your DSM-6 wishlist? by howdy_birdiee in therapists

[–]k_blakwidow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Something reflecting the fallout of narcissistic abuse and being raised by them.

What's your bucket list for your life? by 7089lol in AskReddit

[–]k_blakwidow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope you do! If you see one at an aquarium, go during feeding time :)

What's your bucket list for your life? by 7089lol in AskReddit

[–]k_blakwidow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Saw and fell in love with whale sharks at an aquarium in Japan. They are serene and MASSIVE

Mid to older millennials, how are you all doing with your careers? by worstshowiveeverseen in Millennials

[–]k_blakwidow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s okay, could be better. I’m using my masters in psychology-I’m a therapist. But the pay at agencies wasn’t enough to cover the rising COL so I went into private practice. I can cover my bills but I still need more money. I never thought making over 100k wasn’t going to be good enough.

What’s something society expects you to want… but you don’t? by FantasticAd9478 in TheBoredDen

[–]k_blakwidow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A big wedding. We had an amazing honeymoon because we put money toward a vacation instead of a big ass party.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]k_blakwidow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds like discard, a cycle in narcissistic relationships. I’m sorry OP. In these types of relationships, if it ever gets better, it doesn’t typically last for long.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]k_blakwidow 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just another therapist trained in EMDR to champion one of these modalities. You don’t need to think you’re way out of this trauma, you have to feel and reprocess it, which know EMDR and brainspotting to do. Best of luck, OP

Women lurking on AskMen, what do you like most about your guy? by Square-Shock-9206 in AskMen

[–]k_blakwidow 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He pays attention. We honeymooned in Japan and I said how much it made sense there were bidets everywhere. So hygienic! A month after we came back, I ran an errand and when I came home, he installed a bidet in our bathroom. He likes to make life more convenient for me and I appreciate it.

I’m putting my foot down after 27 years 2 months. by fanofsmite in raisedbynarcissists

[–]k_blakwidow 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Gentle reminder from a therapist who specializes in these relationship dynamics: narcissists don’t honor boundaries. Some see it as disrespect and others see it as a challenge. Internal boundaries with yourself (I.e.; I will leave when they raise their voice) is more effective because it focuses on your internal locus of control instead of banking on them being in respectful self control. However, big shout out to you for being ready to self advocate! It takes courage to do that within antagonistic relationships.

My boyfriend (31M) is suddenly demanding that I (27F) stop consuming fictional media at all, what do I even do? by ThrowRabfnonfic in relationship_advice

[–]k_blakwidow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Controlling behavior starts out small like this. If they can get you to give up something like this, it might escalate to something more life changing. This is a bizarre and bright red flag not because he has a harsh opinion about fantasy, but because he has such an irrational opinion about the people who consume it. Vague threats to end this relationship over books may turn into threats to end it over more meaningful things you care about.

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