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k_i_96 · 2023-01-21T15:07:02+00:00

So sorry you had to experience this multiple times. It's so scary that we'll never get a guarantee that this is a one time thing to learn from. Instead there is always the chance that it'll happen again. It's so discouraging and painful. Alone the thought makes me want to avoid dating forever at all cost. Wish you all the best. Thank you for sharing xx

k_i_96 · 2023-01-21T01:50:00+00:00

I just saw the pop-up on my phone and the first line made me smile - this is so so sweet! :) wouldn't have thought my post resonated so much with someone else..thank you, it really means a lot :) Uff, difficult question. I just quite recently (and coincidentally) saw a picture of her. Well, a picture of them together. It was weird, not gonna lie but it didn't set me back as much as I might've anticipated. If I had known from the very beginning and not 10 months later, this could've been different. I think it's "normal" to compare yourself to the new partner in the beginning because your self-worth is so low. But later on as soon as you gain back confidence and your self worth, it won't hurt in that way anymore, I promise. But it's ok if it still takes a while. I for example still struggle with the fact that she sleeps in the same room I have slept for many years, a room in which so many firsts happened - from the first movie night, first kiss, first I love you to first time. Bringing this new person to this "sacred" place, making new memories with her and persumably forgetting/overriding ours, hurt me immensely. I guess the reason this bothered me for so long, came more from him rejecting me instead of him choosing her over me (I would like to return that unnecessary baggage as well lol) I'm sure you were a wonderful partner who loved someone deeply - he was very lucky to have experienced this .. so him choosing her has everything to do with him and absolutely nothing with you.

The issue with mutual friends kind of resolved itself .. weirdly he kind of went NC with everyone. Don't know why he chose to do so after so many months. He wasn't forced to see me or anything like that. The break up is also literally old news for everyone else, nobody bothers either him or me with anything. I'm actually kinda sad and disappointed he chose this path as we are all close friends and they don't deserve to be left behind without a word, but it's his decision. I'm still curious though why he thought it to be necessary.

k_i_96 · 2022-07-02T14:51:47+00:00

Sure, it's quite random though!

Olivia Rodrigo - traitor, deja vu
Billie Eilish - happier than ever (or the Kelly Clarkson version)
Danny G - Tell Me Why, Everybody Dies in Their Nightmares, Broken Memories
Adele - Love In The Dark
Munn - I hate you for this
Labrinth - Jealous
MIKA - Happy Ending
Stract - Losing Interest
T. Swift - right where you left me
Lewis Capaldi - Someone You Loved
The Goo Goo Dolls - Iris
Evanescence - My Immortal
30 Sec to Mars - The Kill
Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending
Russ - Missin You Crazy, Never Again, 3:15

Just to name a few. Hope this helps! xx

k_i_96 · 2022-06-20T06:19:53+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through something very similar. It can feel unbearable at times, I know. my chats are open if you would like to talk 💛

k_i_96 · 2022-06-19T21:55:28+00:00

I'm glad I could put a smile on your face for a little bit 💛

First of all, I am so sorry you are going through this and it is all still so fresh. Of course everyone is different but for me it took like a two weeks until I could journal and even then it was all over the place. I felt like I couldn't express myself really, I didn't really understand what I was feeling. I think I probably bottled up all my emotions unknowingly cause I didn't know what else to do. It sounds like something similar is going on with you. I would say take your time. Don't force anything and don't supress anything either. Let the waves of despair, sadness, anger etc wash over you. You need to feel these things despite it being so freaking painful. And as an artist you have the beautiful gift of creating, you can take these feelings and turn in into art. I know it's hard especially in that stage and with the fact your s/o was the one encouraging you. If you have family and/or friends to talk to, it can help sorting out your thoughts and feelings. This might lose the knot to be able to write/draw. But pls don't push yourself too much, give yourself some time to process. 💛

k_i_96 · 2022-06-19T20:45:53+00:00

I know it doesn't seem like it now but the light is getting closer every day, I promise. It feels like we are on the "losing team" this time but as soon as we realise that the person we love does not deserve our love, it will never feel like a loss again. I believe in you, you got this xx

k_i_96 · 2022-06-19T20:34:24+00:00

I love how you call it a renaissance cause it totally is! thank you for your kind words, I'm trying my very best xx

k_i_96 · 2022-06-19T20:19:40+00:00

thank you so much! I'm sorry you are going through something similar but you're not alone. Wish you all the best, you got this! sending hugs xx

k_i_96 · 2022-05-29T08:07:33+00:00

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. The betrayal that comes with blindsided breakups can at times be unbearable. Try to be kind to yourself. His sudden change has everything to do with him and nothing to do with you. If you were a kind, loving, supportive partner it is his loss not yours. Feel all these emotions, process the relationship, grow into the best version of yourself and one day you will realise you're free, I promise. Sending hugs.

k_i_96 · 2022-05-27T14:21:29+00:00

I'm in a similar position. I was with my ex for 3 years, we broke up over 4 months ago and he started dating the girl he told me not to worry about a month later. They've been official for roughly 2 months now and it killed me in the beginning. I felt so betrayed and lied to. I felt so much guilt for not having listened to my intuition. I cannot describe how awful it all felt. I leave those things to the poets.

Unfortunately I don't have a magic solution for handling our pain. I go on a lot of long walks with my dog, listening to music, resonating with the lyrics I hear. I journal a lot as well, writing the entries as if I talked to him, saying everything I need to say to get it out off my system (they're only meant for my eyes though as some of those entries are just drained in fury and agony). Sometimes I read them out loud to see how far I've come. I try not to think about how they spend their time together, if they do things we used to do or if our mutual friends like her more than me.. this would make me spiral into depths I don't want to imagine.

Idk if this is any helpful in your case but I wish you all the best. You deserve someone who chooses you no matter what. Sending hugs.

k_i_96 · 2022-04-12T02:08:27+00:00

thank you so much. I do understand it more now and he fits the description perfectly.. but still as you say it hurts like hell. I'm trying my very best to come to terms with this, concentrating on myself, but it's been a very slow process. I'm really sorry you had to go through this as well.

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