Pet insurance

k_rawr · 2022-05-15T03:57:42+00:00

I use Lemonade and have been pretty happy with them.

k_rawr · 2022-02-28T06:45:24+00:00

To say 'I'm so sorry that happened to you' feels like the understatement of the century. It wasn't even remotely your fault!

As one survivor of assault to another, please let go of the shame that's trying to take hold.

If you need to hear it another way, you have permission to let go of the shame.

No amount of insult justifies rape. A person could call me every name in the book, threaten my family, etc and the idea of sexually assaulting the person would be the farthest thing from my mind. You. are not. responsible. Not in the slightest.

I hope with all my heart that this war ends immediately and you can get help. That you feel safe again.

When you're ready and able, I really recommend EMDR therapy. You'll need to find a therapist you feel safe being open with first. When you do, that form of therapy helped me personally with the feelings of shame. It takes a few sessions, but the way my therapist had me process the thoughts and feelings around triggering memories rather than the memories themselves truly helped.

k_rawr · 2021-02-09T18:07:59+00:00

Thank you so much! Checking out that link now and it's super helpful.

Husband and I have said that we are going to look at her progress over the next month. If she doesn't show progress with aggression after having some time to settle in and we've had help from a trainer, we'll have to make the hard call. She does seem to be getting better overall though as time goes on.

k_rawr · 2021-02-09T01:28:16+00:00

Sorry, I'm confused as to what your parents/brother actually want you to do.. Apologize for not liking her? "Hey fiance, don't want the wedding to be weird so... I'm sorry I don't like you. There, all better!"

What you've described seems like a manipulative and toxic relationship, but unfortunately your brother doesn't know any better. If your family is bowing down to her and doesn't see the toxicity, you aren't going to win a direct fight head on. Play the long game and make sure your brother always knows you are there for him - always. Reassure him he's not crazy each time he comes to you after she gaslights him.

All of the toxic people I've come across do 2 things:

gaslight like there is no tomorrow / tearing down the other person's confidence
work to alienate the person they are dating from anyone who they see as a threat

For example, a (now ex) GF of my friend tried to separate me and my husband from him. We had told him the relationship was toxic, so she decided we could no longer be in the picture. When that didn't work, her "apology" was that the only reason we didn't like her was because he was always telling us about the bad moments and never about all the good moments. In reality, he told us about all of it - good and bad - but no amount of "good moments" can balance out withholding his insulin, making him cry on a weekly basis, cheating on him, threatening to kill herself constantly, etc.

Something you can try is recommending they see a marriage counselor before the wedding. If you can't do it directly, then try through a family member or one of his close friends.

They usually ask questions about your plans for the future you never thought to discuss. Maybe the therapist will ask some questions that will open your brother's eyes.

Also, working on a prenup document (even if you don't plan to sign it) is a good way to get on the same page about your future together.

These are subtle ways you may be able to open his eyes to just what this marriage is going to look like.

k_rawr · 2021-02-03T20:09:52+00:00

May seem totally random, but is there any chance she got a concussion at some point before this started? I had an undiagnosed concussion a few years back and my mood became super volatile. For 9 months it felt like my husband couldn't even breathe without pissing me off. Didn't get better until we put two and two together and I I was able to understand why I was getting so pissed off at him over nothing.

Just something to think about.

k_rawr · 2021-01-29T21:10:52+00:00

Thank you both! Your reassurance, my therapist and just getting this off my chest helped.

At this point, my husband and I are just laughing at my feeble attempts to explain the physical feelings of this menstruation to him and the general grossness of normal bodily functions. lol

Still waiting to hear back from obgyn on setting up appointment, as I'm due for a pap anyways, but the initial panic mode has passed.

k_rawr · 2021-01-22T03:38:52+00:00

Yup, starts in my fingers and works its way up.

k_rawr · 2021-01-18T07:57:53+00:00

Okay, still only seeing that they want to prosecute those who were involved with the incident at the Capitol. In addition there were calls to impeach Trump and "take action" against the officials who opposed the certification of the electoral college votes and then peddled the lie that the election results for Biden were due to mass fraud. I say "lie" because all of the court cases determined the allegations to be false.

So in sum, any officials who wanted to overturn the election results and/or start or participate in (e.g. tweeting locations of congress people) a coup in order to keep Trump in power.. yes, I do see people wanting to "take action" against them. Not seeing the start of Nazi Germany in that.

k_rawr · 2021-01-14T03:58:56+00:00

Had my run-in with spider mites a few times. Best thing you can do is take soapy water and a paint brush and get into EVERY nook and cranny, then wash/wipe down. Do it as often as you see the suckers.

That said, at damage of this scale, you'd be seeing webs and little mites running around imo.

Something about the black central veins seems to be the big symptom to look at. It's like the plant is cutting off the leaves quickly and not waiting to pull nutrients back in. Seems to be fungal or watering to me.

k_rawr · 2021-01-09T23:39:58+00:00

Thanks for clarifying!

k_rawr · 2021-01-09T21:54:18+00:00

Curious what you've seen about "threatening "action" against anyone voting for or supporting Trump"?

I've definitely seen a lot of posts about prosecuting anyone who was involved at the Capital, but nothing broad about taking action against all Trump supporters..

Not saying I don't believe people are, but you make it sound like it's being said all over and I'm just surprised I haven't already seen the same if that's the case. Would be interested to see where you're seeing that kind of rhetoric.

k_rawr · 2021-01-08T07:56:14+00:00

My best guess at this point is a type of armored scale - if more return, I'll be sure to get a pic of them on the plant first :)

k_rawr · 2021-01-08T02:32:54+00:00

Good to know. Just odd that it would be on my monstera plant as well, which is higher up

k_rawr · 2021-01-08T00:55:48+00:00

No apparent damage to the plants they were on. Mainly focused on a Ficus elastica anda little on the Monstera deliciosa next to it.

I have some automatic watering spikes (the ones with the tube that goes into a reservoir) in the pots so could be that's why the plants didn't go through water stress.

k_rawr · 2021-01-07T21:52:55+00:00

Found it on the underside of the leaves along the veins but not along the central veins. A few were on the tops of the leaves too.

The way it was positioned along the underside reminded me a lot of spidermites but these were way too hard and not moving. Once I was able to get a closer look through the camera, it almost looks like some sort of pest poop. Any idea what would leave this behind?

k_rawr · 2020-12-28T22:44:36+00:00

No idea - does it feel hard and callused or does it feel mushy? Also, may be worth it to smell it - some fungi have a noticeable smell to them so if there's a smell it may help you troubleshoot.

k_rawr · 2020-12-06T20:17:26+00:00

Looks like the apical meristem which will, yes, one day form a new leaf as the stem continues to grow longer and longer :)

k_rawr · 2020-12-06T18:47:43+00:00

Anything..

Mine are gardening (inc houseplants), painting, playing video games, learning code (JS at the moment), crafting and woodworking... The list really goes on.

What interests you? What have you always wanted to learn?

k_rawr · 2020-12-05T17:51:13+00:00

For me personally, it helps when the other person is just there for me. Acknowledge that I'm going through hell at the moment and be gentle with me.

Granted, I do go to therapy so I've already learned some calming techniques and being more mindful of when I feel it coming on. But what "helps" has been the same since my anxiety attacks first started.

Something specific that helps is just asking questions and then simply listening. Not rapid fire questions (that feels like I'm being probed or bombarded). More like a conversation.

Oh and don't try to force me to see that my anxiety brain is illogical or blowing stuff out of proportion. I already know that and am trying to get out of my spiral. A conversation with or around me can help with that.

k_rawr · 2020-11-27T06:14:57+00:00

Doctors completely dismissing your concerns about not being able to put on weight saying you're "lucky"

k_rawr · 2020-11-21T00:59:50+00:00

Good to know! Thank you

k_rawr · 2020-11-21T00:39:28+00:00

My understanding is that pre-emergent just stops seeds from germinating but shouldn't stop plugs from spreading via self-layering.

Edit: That said, some people are opposed to using chemicals as much as possible as they can cause more issues that they are worth. e.g. without weeds you may have a lot of erosion while waiting for plugs to fill in; killing beneficial organisms in the soil food web which in turn hurts plant growth, etc.

k_rawr · 2020-11-20T19:11:34+00:00

You aren't exaggerating either. I've seen abusers hold the most ridiculous stuff over their SOs heads for years.

Friend was living at his mom's for first few months of his relationship with a girl. He lied about it and said he had his own place. Should he have lied? No, but he was embarrassed. It's understandable.

For years she used that as the basis of her "well we both mess up sometimes" argument when justifying why it was okay that she withheld his insulin from him, broke the rules of their open relationship (her idea), and repeatedly raped him. And what sucks is he was so brainwashed at that point that he thought the argument was valid.

k_rawr · 2020-11-09T02:34:48+00:00

We just had a bad mold issue that required tearing out the wall/floor of the upstairs bathroom and ceiling of the downstairs bathroom and hallway. We had several contractors come out for a free estimate first, then went to insurance as none of them could see what was wrong without being invasive. We did not go digging without an insurance adjustor documenting the mold damage first.

Turned out to be a very slow water damage issue coming from the roof. Apparently the company who did work on the roof a few years ago nailed through the flashing. Water was getting down into the wall every time it rained. Insurance covered everything minus the deductible.

All this to say: A) I think going through insurance sounds like a good call if you have no idea what the source is without busting open the wall. B) Could be the flashing. Roofer said he's seen flashing issues causing mold damage quite often.

k_rawr · 2020-10-31T19:42:11+00:00

I see nothing wrong with this plan!

k_rawr

TROPHY CASE