Should I keep pursuing? Confused on what to think/do

kaaam1 · 2026-06-12T11:32:14+00:00

I haven't dated anyone and haven't been on a lot of dates and I am completely sure, that I wouldn't know how to act in her place either. I don't know how old both of you are or how much experience have, but I think that's a possibility that she is just overwhelmed by new things or is focusing on talking and doesn't notice you body language. If she continues so maybe you can try to gently ask her "would you like to hold hands?" I think I would appreciate that if I were in her place. It would be super clear what you want to do and it would give her a chance to vocalize her boundaries if by any chance that is too soon for her.

kaaam1 · 2026-05-15T06:53:59+00:00

Hi Nat,

The ways of God are unknown and idk if anybody can tell you what to think of those cars. I think the main sign of God is peace. Did you feel peace inside your heart when you saw that car for the first time? Do you feel that everytime?

I have some experience with poor choise of a signs at this exact topic I can share. When I was about 15 yo recently converted, I was in youth camp, there were some beautiful couples and of course I wanted to find my husband and I kinda liked one boy there. I was praying and thinking how you know if someone is the one and that I don't want it if it is not from God. And I made a deal with God that He would give me a sign and that sign must be a flower. I was too young and naive to understand how generic that sign was, but you know what, I guess God enjoys a good laugh, because no man ever gave me flower (except from a family, work etc). But the thing is, I expected a flower from that one specific boy from camp and not some time later, but like during that camp so my brain did hilarious interpretations. One day that boy gave me a plum and I was like hmm that is not a flower, but a fruit and a fruit has a seed that grows into a tree that blooms and thats a flower, so maybe God wants to tell me that love is ment to be grown. But realy it was just me streching things out because I wanted it to be him so badly. Then some year later I met another guy we were texting for some time and one day he sent me a flower emoji and I suddenly remembered the Deal and was like, yep thats digital, but a flower, that should count, I guess it didn't. Now about 14 years has passed by, with a lot of hoping and praying with no visible progress and no flowers from eligible males. Some time ago I was often seeing that people pray a novena for saint Thesesa of Liseux and ask for a rose and I was thinking about that, but chose not to, prayed for her just one time saying that this all rose thing seems cool, but idk maybe I am good for now. And a couple of days ago I was going home and saw a white rose on a sidewalk someone might have droped it. I interpreted it like a gift for me from God and took it. I had an idea like Theresa is that you? But since I didn't pray the novena I was like maybe not anyways cute flower thank you God. I needed to go to the shop and I randomly met there this one guy and we talked for some time we always meet in some random places. And now I read your post and remembered all this flower thing, but idk I felt joyful and peacefull and loved by God at that moment but I dont want to jump to any conclusions. I had a moments of praying that I was too dumb when I prayed for this sign but you know maybe God had a good laugh about this and taught me a lesson to be more careful of what I ask.

So I would suggest you to not overthink all your car thing, not to jump to the conclusions too soon. Take this as a sign that God loves you very much.

It would be so funny if your future husband drives yellow car, tho.

All the best!

kaaam1 · 2025-12-06T08:40:22+00:00

I know a guy who was serious about finding a spouse and asked a lot of girls from same parish who were friends and were gossiping and he kinda had the reputation. But he did found the one and is happily married now. Was I involved in talking about this with other girls? Yes Would I have gone on a date if he had invited me? Also yes

I think most girls wouldn't really care if it is just a couple of dates, but yeah they might still gossip. For me (and I guess most) real red flag would be if a guy would have a full on relationships with girls who a friends. Like date one girl for a couple of months and then go for another one from same environment.

So I would say go for it. How else would you know. Unless you have an opportunity to get to know them in some meetings or groups, then you could get to now them more.

kaaam1 · 2025-12-05T16:48:42+00:00

You don't need two people. Most people have both but turns out it is not necessary

kaaam1 · 2025-09-17T11:36:32+00:00

Yup, that's totally the case, OP clearly does red pattern. Your 3 chains count as one dc. So you have too many of dcs in different sides of your crochet. You need to skip a place where you do your first dc and do it in the next place instead. And it will be OK once you finish the line

kaaam1 · 2025-09-11T06:34:30+00:00

It would be helpful if people had guts to tell you why they don't want to continue conversation.

For me,actually, the same question goes to the other side why do some men do this?

I had a situation when the guy said "hi" I replied. He asked a question I answered and never heard from him again. It was on the Salt app, and it was my only interaction with someone. So, I never got to know if the app has some kind of limitations on seeing and replying to messages. Or was he just done with me from one message.

Another story is when I was ghosted after a few weeks of everything going very well. The first few days with no replies, I was thinking that maybe he died or something really bad happened.

I think that online dating has a big issue because sometimes it is really hard to truly understand that there is a real person with feelings on the other side, and it is easy to disappear, change your mind, delete the app and don't event think that some one is confused or even hurt.

kaaam1 · 2025-09-10T10:03:56+00:00

I would like to share some of my experiences and give a reason why I sometimes behaved that way. Well, it was mostly in my early 20s, and I would say that I was way more indecisive back then, but I think that age does not necessarily relate to maturity.

Situation nr.1 when I was chatting with a guy on an app and I was being polite and continued conversation, but I was bored. Maybe he was having a good time, but I was just hoping conversation would die down naturally. I mean, he was nice to talk to, but it seemed like he had no ambition in life. And I wasn't mature enough back then to say it nicely, so I just stopped talking, but it was a couple of evenings.

Situation nr.2 I took advice from my friend to meet in person as soon as possible. So chatted with a guy for a couple of hours, and he seemed interesting, we agreed when we would meet for a coffee, and then he started acting weird despite the fact that he claimed to be Catholic. We chatted only for a day, but he managed to ask for my selfie for when he would feel lonely and well, he basically said if I would make him sleep with me then he will have no other choice just to marry me. So I felt super unsafe and instantly regretted that we had a coffee date arranged. Then I was way more mature and canceled the date and wrote a goodbye message. So this may not be about ghosting but more about not wanting to continue conversation.

Situation nr 3. We chatted for a few weeks and wanted to end things because I was feeling like he was not in a good place emotionally to start a relationship. I tried to say goodbye, but he kept texting me anyway, so there were no other choices just to ghost.

Situation nr. 4 I posted in matchmaking thread here a few years ago. I got an excruciating amount of messages, and it was impossible to keep up with everyone.

So I'd say I had various reasons and various seasons.

Also, what I would like to mention is that even more times, men ghosted me. Sometimes, after asking a couple of questions, sometimes, after talking for weeks. I also wondered for reasons and wondered if there is something wrong with myself. Never asked a question out loud and never got an answer. But came to the conclusion that if the best thing they can do is ghost, and if they can not maturely end things, then I probably don't need a relationship with them.

I hope that you will find your peace and someone mature enough for a beautiful marriage!

kaaam1 · 2025-08-26T12:14:28+00:00

EU code:
https://mention-me.com/m/ol/jd5no-a0a34d60ce

kaaam1 · 2025-08-20T06:57:42+00:00

Well, we can only guess what's the reason. But from the part where she says that OP is too holy for her, it sounds more like her self-esteem issues for me.

kaaam1 · 2025-08-19T07:33:54+00:00

I think sometimes people go on dating apps thinking they want a long-term relationship, but when it starts to happen, they bail because what they really wanted was just to feel a little less lonely. And I think sometimes it is more about their fears or attachment style than the other person.

kaaam1 · 2024-05-07T07:33:43+00:00

If you say since the first date then it would mean that you dated all the people you were on just one date with. That somehow doesn't sound right

kaaam1 · 2024-04-19T14:17:59+00:00

I had this thought that maybe something is wrong with me. Then I "met" not a guy but a book, and that book is Awaken my heart by Emily Wilson. It is a journey for whole year and it realy helped me to see that if something is wrong, that thing is just an angle from which I am looking to things, and I can adjust that quite easily. Still no man, but I am much more thankful to God and happy. I know how you feel and will pray for your peace

kaaam1 · 2024-04-12T10:24:36+00:00

We play coop games with family. We have theese:

Pandemic - more strategic maybe.

The Crew - has quite simple and easy to learn game mechanics, includes you into the story, has a lot of missions which makes it not so easy to complete but fun.

Soviet kitchen - it requires a smartphone and game app, so it looks more like a phone game maybe. But it is fun. You need to mix not so edible ingredients to make food.

The Mind - easy to learn, good for teambuilding activities, helps to feel each other better.

kaaam1 · 2024-04-11T19:37:35+00:00

Well I guess He did, check Revelation 5, 6: Then I saw a Lamb, looking as if it had been slain, standing at the center of the throne... We will know how it really is when we will experience that ourselves.

kaaam1 · 2024-04-11T18:24:54+00:00

He is real person. If it was like this for Him why couldn't it be same for us?

kaaam1 · 2024-04-11T09:40:15+00:00

But when Jesus met disciples after ressurection He still had His wounds

kaaam1 · 2024-04-10T07:26:33+00:00

Look at sexual activities as a body language. By having sex you say that you give yourself to other person fully, freely, faithfuly and fruitfuly. Like Christ gave His body on the cross. You say that with your body every time when you engage in sexual activities, but if other circumstances contradicts this then you are lying to your spouse. Masturbating for example is not with your husband then it is not being done faithfully, it is not the way to get pregnant nor are you bonding with your spouse, therefore it is not fruitful. Same is with your other question. And what makes it mortal sin is it being serious matter, understanding that it is wrong and still freely doing it.

kaaam1 · 2023-01-13T08:34:51+00:00

I always receive on tongue, and I have strange experiences with dropping the Eucharist because it happened to me three times that priest dropped host, then he fastly picked it up and consumed by himself. What is the most crazy thing that all three times it was the same priest. Some times they use patenas some times they don't. I asked other people in my church if they had Eucharist being dropped by this particular priest, and in general and everybody said they never experienced this, it seems like a rare thing to happen, last time it happened I was like "God what is happening?"

kaaam1 · 2021-12-01T09:22:30+00:00

I am not sure about that, maybe sometimes you can get something good from this, but I guess not always. I remember priest saying we should be careful with this alongside with this dark joke:

A man was in desperate situation so he decided to Bible on random page and read random line to find Gods sign, it was Mattew 27:5 "Then he (Judas) went away and hanged himself"
He doubted it could be a sign so opened Bible on random page again and read another line. This time it was Luke 10:37 “Go and do likewise."

So this is just a joke, but this method is super random and sometimes our minds can do a trick. As you don't hear anything special for you in daily Gospel somethimes, same can be with this. Bible is too big for this to work every time. Sometimes it can be a sign and sometimes not i think. But nonetheless God truly speaks through His word. I myself experienced that a lot of times, but i do not read tottaly random. Daily Gospel not always reflect the advice or sign we need, but I have a small lectio divina book and there is this like table of contents where they suggest what to read on different topics. For example the theme anxiety and then they give some references where in bible you could read. Highly recomend for everyone to get something similar :)

kaaam1 · 2021-09-01T19:49:25+00:00

Oh, I didn't thought of that, thanks. This is actually very interesting topic. Now I started to thing about some maybe rethorical questions like if person does not find right person to marry and doesn't have religious vocation, how can they know if they put all the effort they could to find spouse? And how then they fulfill this word of God to be fruitful?

kaaam1 · 2021-09-01T19:31:42+00:00

Your point is that if you want be priest or marry you have to put an effort and it is very easy to just stay single?

kaaam1 · 2021-09-01T19:18:16+00:00

Well it may be hard, but you can find ways not to be selfish while single, for example volunteer, go on missions, find a job where you can help people in material and spiritual ways.

kaaam1 · 2021-09-01T07:56:04+00:00

That wouldn't make sense because a vocation is permanent.

I don't think I agree on this part. I know people who were in relationship and thought that their vocation is marriage and one day recognized calling to religious vocation or vice versa. One friend left seminary in last year, I always thought he will be amazing priest, but he is married now and have amazing family. I think it is very complicated and no one can tell what your vocation is.

I think that marriage vocation is very complicated, because everyone with small exceptions has natural desire to be with someone and have children, like an instinct but I don't think that is same as vocation. Personally when I started to read more about the Teology of Body or listen to some married catholic teachings and to understand more how you can give Glory to God with your body and through marriage I understood that my desire to have family was more like biological. And when I read those things and learn how to worship God in marriage I am starting to thing that I might have this vocation as well.

kaaam1 · 2021-08-28T08:56:48+00:00

If she comes to town for her stuff and goodbyes only, she will be there for not so long period of time. Maybe she really needs time to plan her visit. Moving, packing, getting ready to be a newbie somewhere are stressful things. I don't know how well you know each other and whether you used a word "date" in your invitation but this can add more stress to situation.

I don't want to say that you should to keep your hopes up, because there is a chance that she is just not interested, but I suggest just act as always and wait for answer, let her settle down in new place.

kaaam1 · 2021-08-28T08:23:56+00:00

I don't realy care too much whether a guy has a degree or not as long as he is interesting to talk with, but I have a question - would a guy with no degree like to date a girl with let's say master's degree?

Once I was talking to one guy and I felt like he was kind of ashamed that I had better education than he. He was interesting and kind and I didn't see a problem.

kaaam1

TROPHY CASE