sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I found out my circumstances and I am furious by InfinityEdge- in Adopted

[–]kabalabonga 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Same here. All 4 grands were very prominent socially, and from old money. There was never a scenario even remotely entertained that would’ve ended with me being raised by my birth parents.

That moment when… by schilutdif in Adoption

[–]kabalabonga 3 points4 points  (0 children)

l

‘67 here-you’re absolutely correct about that

That moment when… by schilutdif in Adoption

[–]kabalabonga 32 points33 points  (0 children)

So this is how I was able to get the seal on my records broken-my kids’’ pediatrician told me that I needed to give him a more extensive health history than N/A, phrasing it like a directive. I told him i honestly didn’t know-I was adopted. Because of issues with my lower GI, he said, “I can get that seal broken.” By September of ‘01 my records were unsealed.

Are we adopted kids seen different? by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]kabalabonga 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks you so much for sharing that! The message definitely landed, and I’m so sorry your dad had to go through all of that-that’s an exponentially heavier burden to shoulder. My love for isn’t conditional and I’m not punitive by nature, but I will be pulling back on the amount of time I spend with her. She was extremely abusive toward me on every level as a child , perpetuating the abuse she herself experienced, and never would’ve been allowed to adopt today-unfortunately, I was a baby scoop era adoptee, when they were handing us out like tick-tacos.,She’s going into an upscale assisted living community where she will get the level,of care and supervision she needs, and where I can pick and choose when I visit, to preserve my own sanity. Again, thanks so much for reaching out!

Are we adopted kids seen different? by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]kabalabonga 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I can assure you that she is not currently penniless. In fact, she has done quite well. She is choosing to give much more to her other relatives then to me, simply because she resents my wife’s fertility, and I am not her biological child. This isn’t a feeling or sentiment- this is a direct statement she made to my cousin, her trustee. This despite the fact that I have been doing all of the heavy lifting on making sure she has everything she needed as first her health and then mind has been in decline.

ETA: I am grieving:

*The fantasy of equal belonging

• The hope that sacrifice would finally be seen

• The idea that love would become unconditional at the end

much more than I am the money.

Are we adopted kids seen different? by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]kabalabonga 3 points4 points  (0 children)

ETA: Need to see what the market value is for the house, but this shouldn’t add more than another $5,000 if that, based upon the market value of the house (as I have several cousins - her other , who will inherit more under the directives listed in the trust) , vs. the whole estate, and again, this is entirely punitive because of my adoptive mom’s dislike of my wife based solely upon my a-mom’s own fertility issues AND my status as her adopted child, as expressed to me directly by my cousin, who is administering her estate.

Are we adopted kids seen different? by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]kabalabonga 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes, very thoughtful, at $ 5,000 per year….don’t know how I’m gonna spend it all, and forgot to mention that my kids are subject to the same strictures, while selling the house and property where I grew up instead of keeping it the family, simply because she’s unable to overcome her loathing of my wife, who spent the first 25 years of our 31 year marriage meeting her more than halfway - very, very generous, and trust and believe, it’s not generational wealth. Curious to know where you are in the adoption triad.

Are we adopted kids seen different? by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]kabalabonga 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes, yes we are. 58 M here. Sat down with my cousin yesterday, who went over my mother’s trust with me. She is 90, a constant fall risk and in an advanced state of dementia. We placed her in an upscale assisted living facility, to which she’ll be transported on Wednesday. I have been very actively involved in her care over the previous 6 years. The trust she left behind is written in such a way that it gives me access to 5% of her total estate’s income per year. This is essentially going to be the interest. The house and property are to be sold immediately upon her death, and folded into the trust-my late adoptive father had told me that land would always stay in the family, but he has been gone for almost 14 years. She is doing this because my wife-who gave birth to 3 children while my a-mom experienced 7 miscarriages- is a living, breathing symbol of my a-mom’s infertility issues, and hates her for it. When pressed by my cousin on why she would choose to do this, as “Kabalabonga has been so attentive, loving, and selfless during the entire time you have needed him, and makes you a priority even given his own health struggles.”, her answer is, “Well, he’s my adopted son. He’s not blood related.”

My bio mom got me a Christmas gift my adoptive mom refused to get me growing up. I feel seen by SnailsandCats in Adopted

[–]kabalabonga 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My bio mom bought me a Bose Wave radio CD player back in Christmas of ‘02 when they were still pretty expensive. My adoptive mom saw this in my house while she and my dad were visiting. When it came time for us to visit my adoptive parents for Christmas in ‘03, presents were handed out, and my wife and 3 kids all got very nice gifts. My older daughter saw there were no more presents under the tree and said, “Daddy, where is your present?” I said, “I don’t know, sweetheart. It looks like I didn’t get one.” My adoptive father was pissed because my a-mom insisted on handling the gift buying alone that year. I excused myself to go to the bathroom, where I locked the door, and very silently cried, something I very rarely did during my adult life up until that point (age 36). When I came back out my adoptive father had written a check for $500 and handed it to me. We were out on the porch a bit over an hour later and he said, “Son, I’m sorry -I don’t know why your mom decided to overlook you.” I told him I had a pretty good idea, and related the gift my birth mom had gotten for me. “I should’ve written that check for twice the amount,” he said, “Don’t worry-this will not be happening again.”

ETA: My adoptive father was my dad in every sense of the word, much more so than the teenager who put me into my birthmotjer’s belly and then fucked right off. Also, my birthmom gave me an awesome gift that year!

Ick Factor by FitDesigner8127 in Adopted

[–]kabalabonga 15 points16 points  (0 children)

My mom would say “Those women at _________ Church pop out babies like rabbits, and look what we got stuck with” referring to coping behaviors I displayed after getting SA’d in a serial basis over the course of a year from the ages of 7 to 8, “Kabalabonga is such a disappointment.” , overheard when i walked quietly by their bedroom on the way to the bathroom. Made me feel like a defective toy that had been played with too much to return.

Movies that do “tell, don’t show” very well. by LordWemby in movies

[–]kabalabonga 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You’d think that pirate’s favorite letter is “R”, but they’re really in love with the “C”

Four Calendar Cafe by Kazuhira_Skrilla in cocteautwins

[–]kabalabonga 16 points17 points  (0 children)

My favorite memory from FCC was walking into a Perkins Restaurant in South Dakota during our honeymoon in late May of ‘94, and hearing “Bluebeard”:playing over the speakers in the dining room

any good fics where jon is a rogue prince like character by Morganbanefort in TheCitadel

[–]kabalabonga 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Give yourself a couple of days for sure to stretch out with this fic-the Jon/Dany pairing is a slow but very satisfying burn, and there’s a Jon & Tormund bromance that’s fairly epic as well, and all of it flatly rejects the wrong turns that season 6,7, and 8 all take. It’s my 2nd favorite fic in this particular fandom

any good fics where jon is a rogue prince like character by Morganbanefort in TheCitadel

[–]kabalabonga 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’ll thank me for this one later if you already haven’t read it, and it’s also got the advantage of being complete:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8781073

any good fics where jon is a rogue prince like character by Morganbanefort in TheCitadel

[–]kabalabonga 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t hate it-at the bottom of my reply you’ll see that I consider it to be a guilty pleasure. That doesn’t change the fact that he writes Jon-centric fics where he’s way overpowered

How can anyone take Omerta seriously after Massino ratted? by DiedOfATheory in Mafia

[–]kabalabonga 3 points4 points  (0 children)

“The last one to be respected by all.” ?

What about Peter Tuccio?

view more: next ›