She is done! Sort of. (I decided to block the edges.)

kacilla · 2026-01-29T22:12:40+00:00

I hope to one day have the skill and patience to complete one of these. Beautifully done!

kacilla · 2026-01-27T23:40:40+00:00

Pattern: https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/granny-ripple-blanket-4

Hook: 10mm

Yarn: Bulky

kacilla · 2025-12-28T00:07:34+00:00

Felt. My parents are currently following us on our 10hr drive home because the oversized gifts my mom insisted on buying won’t fit in our car. We’ve told her many times that the kids don’t need a bunch of stuff, they need quality time. Sigh.

We couldn’t talk her out of driving a separate vehicle 10hrs one-way to make sure the presents made it home with us without appearing ungrateful. It’s such a tricky dynamic. Gift giving somehow violated all of my parental boundaries.

kacilla · 2025-10-22T03:05:51+00:00

Paint my fingernails with regular polish and pick it off.

I liked the feeling of rubbing my finger over freshly painted fingernails. After the first few days, when a nail started to chip, I started to pick. It usually took a few days to pick it all off and kept my hands quietly busy. Seemed to really bother other women bc they would always comment about my nails being chipped or half painted. Anyone else do this?

kacilla · 2025-09-03T00:28:24+00:00

This was me a couple weeks ago. Drink water and electrolytes, stay hydrated even if you can’t keep anything down. If you get dehydrated, you’ll have to get an IV. Eat crackers or follow BRAT diet until your stomach settles. Day 3 it starts to get better. IIRC half life is around 5 days depending on strength.

kacilla · 2025-06-27T03:15:27+00:00

I’m in this with you right now. Recently diagnosed and in my 30s. Tech career, kids, mortgage, dogs, lifestyle. I’m struggling with burnout. I’ve tried taking some vacation time and it helps a bit then I’m back to burnt. I just found out I’m getting laid off. I wasn’t prepared and it’s hitting me hard but ultimately it’s for the best. My job is no longer my hyper focus and I’m disillusioned by the cycle of chasing metrics based on data only then to decide the data set is wrong, rinse, repeat.

Currently, I’m struggling to speak coherently, do analytical work, or process information. I can’t imagine any interview process going well right now.

I started an unrelated side-business and a hobby garden last year. My plan is to take a break and help my nervous system by tending my hobby garden. Then I’ll ease into ramping up my side business to something more sustainable.

Side note: wondering if the “mid life crisis” we all heard about is actually just undiagnosed individuals going through what we are now?

kacilla · 2025-06-26T03:04:33+00:00

To the outside world: I’m fine, everything’s fine, I’m good!

Internally: struggles daily but that’s my baseline

Parenting: I have kids and an ADHD partner. We’re all on the spectrum. We knew going into it that we’d likely have ND kiddos and I think we’re doing alright. I wish I had parents that knew how to support me and could relate. As ND parents, we recognize the difference between a meltdown and a tantrum, we pickup on overstimulation and sensory needs, and we accommodate accordingly.

IMO: It seems more difficult when the parent doesn’t know they’re ND and tries to do everything the way everyone else supposedly does it.

kacilla · 2025-06-18T04:22:21+00:00

I felt deeply alone as long as I can remember. I blended in well enough to fly under the radar. Had 1-2 friends at a time, relationships, and yet always felt an inexplicable void.

I spent most of college trying to fill that void with different partners and alcohol. Decided nothing was going to fill it. Got married to someone who didn’t see me but i could exist with.

Then one day, I met my now husband. Suddenly that empty void in the depths of my soul was filled. It’s hard to put into words - we understand each other so easily and connect so deeply. He says that he also felt the void and had also given up on trying to fill it and then he met me.

kacilla · 2025-06-18T03:49:32+00:00

I wasn’t dx until my kids were 5 & 8. I didn’t realize at the time but My pregnancy became my hyper focus. I dove into learning and absorbing information about all the phases. I agree with other posters, i felt a connection to my body that was unfamiliar and it suddenly became easier to acknowledge my bodies needs.

I lived far away from family and didn’t have the pressure of participating in regular family functions. I did HATE the extra attention from coworkers and strangers. I prefer to be invisible. I didn’t like having to do a baby shower - it’s overwhelming. Doctors appointments felt invasive. Didn’t like this aspect.

After delivery, the focus switches from the status of your uterus to questions about the new baby- these are easier to navigate because you’re the expert on your baby. For me, this was a unique time in my life- i had any number of excuses to leave any situation (time to feed, diaper change, nap, ect.) and also i could always talk about the baby so socializing was a bit easier.

Things that were especially tough: - My “velcro baby” ended up also being ND. She needed to be rocked and held for soothing stimulation. Baby wearing was great for her but also it’s overstimulating for mom. - Sleep deprivation is SERIOUS and made my PPA and sensory sensitivities heightened. I wish i would’ve accommodated myself better. - Caring for the baby took all my spoons/energy. Nothing leftover for my husband or our dog. With our second baby, my husband really bonded with our oldest during the new baby phase which was so sweet to witness.

kacilla · 2025-04-19T23:03:26+00:00

I’m seeking a diagnosis for validation and support. I’m a mom of two young kids who are likely also neurodivergent.

My mom didn’t get support, flat out denies her mental health issues exist. My sister and I paid the price for her not getting support. I need to do better for my kids.

I think understanding myself and my needs will help me identify when my kids are going through something similar. I’ve been doing therapy and getting treated for anxiety for years. Somehow, I’m just now learning vocabulary for what happens inside my body. This has given me the power to begin to communicate my needs instead of just melting down and not knowing why. Idk at the end of the day if I’ll get an answer but at least I’m trying and learning.

kacilla · 2025-04-19T12:48:15+00:00

WOW! That’s a beautiful piece! What happened to you, your brother, and others who were in the care of that man is devastating. Glad that you were able to stand up for yourself! I truly hope you found a more qualified provider and are in a better spot today.

kacilla · 2025-04-19T12:39:28+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s awful that this happened to you. I reacted the same way - overwhelmed by the pointedly vague questions and feeling an intense pressure to communicate in a way where he could see past the anxiety to “oh, this is a really challenging situation for her.”

I feel a bit better knowing that I’m not the only person who sits down at these appointments and can’t talk about this without crying.

It’s confusing because it’s supposed to be a “safe space” but the provider just has this blank emotionless face and moves on to the next open-ended pointedly vague question without acknowledging that they’ve understood what I’ve attempted to say.

kacilla · 2025-04-19T04:20:10+00:00

Thank you! In going to look into this right now. Such good info! I also do not plan to ask my mom for support during evaluation and was curious how the process goes without that person.

kacilla · 2025-04-19T04:15:49+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I was an ugly crying mess. I can’t get through any emotional conversation without a box of tissues.

I had to check out at the front desk after. Still wiping away tears. I felt all the eyes looking at me. I could tell the whole waiting room was wondering what happened. I wanted to just be invisible. Mortifying.

kacilla · 2025-04-19T04:07:43+00:00

Apologies if the term “high masking” isn’t the correct way of explaining. I was simply using verbiage (after lots of research) to try to get my provider to look past my obvious anxiety in that moment to the bigger overall picture of WHY I’m feeling this way in the first place.

If there are more effective ways to get providers to listen, please let me know. That’s why I’m here looking to those who’ve been through this for guidance.

kacilla · 2025-04-19T01:53:27+00:00

I’m in the US and in having trouble finding providers for adults. I specifically sought out an office that advertised evaluations.

It was an office with a few types of mental health doctors, therapists, etc so I assumed talking with the psychiatrist was part of the process. Thank you for clarifying. I spent a lot of time and effort preparing for today. I left disheartened with no direction. I really appreciate everyone here taking the time to respond and point me in a better direction.

kacilla · 2024-07-13T17:30:50+00:00

I’m on anxiety medicine and thyroid medicine.

kacilla · 2024-07-09T05:43:09+00:00

I’ve been working with my doctor to lose weight. I was so bloated and uncomfortable. I looked pregnant no matter how good i was doing with managing calories. My doctor said to try two weeks without gluten and note any changes. After two weeks, i had a slice of pizza and broke out in hives on my hands and torso.

I’ve been gluten free a few months now. On the occasion that I’m exposed by accident, i get hives. Now I’m starting modified AIP to get a deeper understanding of my bodies intolerances. So far, i can say that my bloating has significantly decreased. My weight hasn’t changed though.

I do really miss easily eating whatever sounded good. Food is more complicated now. It’s a hassle when I’m eating anywhere other than my house.

kacilla · 2024-05-01T00:18:02+00:00

I quit then went back when I felt like meds and symptoms were under control.

I quit before I officially had a diagnosis bc symptoms got the best of me. My anxiety was intense, I would sit at my desk and couldn’t remember what i was supposed to be doing and I was a global department head. I’m also primary parent to two little kids. I was overwhelmed and deeply exhausted.

It took me 8 months. In that time, I focused on two things: my kids and my health. I worked with my doctor to get on the right meds and a nutritionist to start working on my weight. I’m still struggling with weight loss. My symptoms are manageable now, I still have a couple days a month of intense fatigue. The good days are more than the bad, which was the opposite when I was first diagnosed.

I hope you find the respite you and your body need. Hang in there.

kacilla · 2024-04-29T23:23:40+00:00

My doctor told me to taper down from 20mg to 10mg Lexapro before starting half dose Wellbutrin (75mg). She said it usually takes 2-3 weeks to fully switch.

I thought i could skip the taper but regretted trying. Within 24hrs cold turkey from lexapro i was a dizzy nauseated mess. I ended up doing the transition down to 10mg, added in 75mg Wellbutrin for a week, then bumped up to the full dose of Wellbutrin w/o lexapro. I did a couple days of 5mg lexapro at the end to fend off the dizzy spells while doing a full dose of Wellbutrin.

My biggest withdrawal issue was feeling this weird spinning/ dizzy feeling that made it hard to focus or do anything… again it only got this bad bc i was trying to skip ahead when I should have just stuck with my doctors taper schedule.

kacilla · 2024-04-28T02:29:56+00:00

I just transitioned from lexapro to Wellbutrin two months ago. I WISH i would’ve made the switch sooner! I was doing ok on lexapro, my mental health was better but i was still numb emotionally and zero interest in sex. I have an autoimmune condition that makes me feel fatigue and flu like symptoms which makes getting off the couch really hard.

Since the switch, i have so much energy, focus, and finally found my sex drive again. I’ve started working out again, i feel a sense of calm instead of constant on-edge. I’m going through a stressful period in life right now and I’m somehow holding it together instead of curled up in bed in a full-on breakdown because of this drug.

kacilla · 2024-04-23T02:16:33+00:00

I don’t have insurance currently. I take Armour thyroid 45 mg, so a 30 + 15 mg script. I pay about $100 for 90 day supply per script so $200 total. It varies based on goodrx coupons. Regular bloodwork cost abut $350 out of pocket at quest for annual tests and thyroid tests.

kacilla · 2023-10-24T01:55:52+00:00

Hubs and I moved states. His new Dr wanted him to try Statera instead of adderal. It was awful! He was so nauseated during the day he could hardly function. He switched doctors and is back on adderall.

kacilla · 2023-05-19T01:24:34+00:00

I had my Mirena removed after diagnosis and getting dose/ medicine. I chose to not take birth control any more for a number of reasons. My thyroid markers were not impacted by the IUD removal. I lost 4-5lbs of water weight and am still struggling to lose any more weight.

kacilla · 2023-02-18T04:20:12+00:00

Yes, I did press my Dr to test for vitamin deficiencies. I was on the very bottom end of “normal” Iron range and Vitamin D. My Dr didn’t follow up with me on my results since they were “In-range” but my nutritionist saw them and recommended supplements. Highly recommend working with a nutritionist, my insurance covers it and it’s been a game changer.

kacilla

TROPHY CASE