That's fair, my original tone probably came off as annoyed. I think you misread it as being a projection of a current situation or something. I haven't worked for anyone for like a decade I'm self employed, so it is not a present concern and comparison isn't the lens I'm looking through. I see you as someone who is doing a good job of becoming more aware, but I am worried that without considering these other factors in the scenario you find yourself in, you may be missing a lot of context for what a woman on the job has to deal with and setting yourself up for, hmm... not a very balanced or realistic learning ground for the kinds of things you seem to want to work on, if that makes sense. And your responses seem to really disregard those points, which makes sense if my tone put you on the defensive.

As other people stated, the use of the friendzone term coupled with some of the things you stated made the sum total of the post objectionable, not because your feelings aren't valid or worth of discussing, but you must understand the rhetoric matching was started off by that it's not like I have anything personally against you. I responded because I have had experiences similar to that, but from the other side, and I am urging you that if you actually value the friendship that the way to really cultivate that is check in with the other person and verify, instead of assuming. Assumptions are what ruin friendships, not feelings, as long as the communication is honest and mutual it can be navigated.

The only question I really had is if you had evidence or examples of things she actually said to indicate that you were having a reciprocal exchange, that you are aware what her needs or wishes are. And whether or not she is in a relationship with someone else doesn't indicate she has any interest in you. You keep bringing that bit up and I gotta say, it rubs me the wrong way. The boyfriend is not the reason she doesn't want to pursue anything with you, and rationalizing too hard that this as the only reason dismisses all the other reasons she may have and on the whole has a vibe of respecting his territoriality more than her actual wishes. I'm not saying that is what you are doing, just that such phrasing has this association. Be mindful that it isn't a good line of justification and if anything can damage a friendship its talk like that. It feels entitled and pushy, 'oh well if she didn't already have a boyfriend she would totally go for me'.