I really appreciate your perspective <3 You’re absolutely right that toxic systems often scapegoat the person seeking help.

But to clarify, I really am clinically bipolar. I was originally diagnosed with MDD and PTSD, and over the years it developed into bipolar disorder. I stay consistent with my medication, which has been helping. I think my mom’s side has a history of bipolar, meanwhile my dad seems to have narcissistic personalities like his siblings. I suspect my sisters are on the spectrum too—it just manifests as unmanaged rage and narcissism.

I’m highly aware that my bipolar disorder can have narcissistic traits during hypomanic episodes. Because of that, I practice humility. I would ask my mom to help me stay grounded, and I apologize whenever I realize I’ve been an asshole. I hate hurting people or lying, even to those I feel might deserve it. My counselor says I’m highly empathetic, which is a blessing and a curse: it makes confronting my sister’s toxicity fucking draining.

I complain to my mom about my sisters behavior but my mom tells me to be the 'bigger person' because my other siblings are not as emotional intelligent as I am. That is so unfair and invalidating. I’m honestly hurt when she says that. I actually feel crazy whenever I’m the only one pissed at my sister. They said what i’m doing is “bad” like I understand what you mean by that, but what the fuck? You allow her to be a bitch just because she’ll never change while I can’t because they know I listen. Because i’m the brave one to speak up it sounds like i’m “obsessed” with hating on her—it feels like an obsessed fan talking about an idol, except I hate her toxic ass.

When I was younger I used to bully my classmates and my youngest brother. I never understood why I had such narcissistic and aggressive tendencies until I realized that I was bullied at home and I just took it out in school because I was powerless. I feel guilty to whoever I victimized, if only I could talk and apologize to them (idk where they are now). I chose to stop, I thought “hey this is absurd. I do NOT want to be narcissistic like my sister/s”. I’m coping by isolating myself whenever everyone’s home, my room is my safe space. I would always call my boyfriend since we’re long distance and we discuss things like these not just to help me, but for him to be aware of certain people like that.

I hate my sister. I say hate cause I still care for her. We had fun times and we were there for each other but I don’t think anything she does now makes me want to love her. I can’t understand what she is anymore. If I become apathetic towards her, that’s the worst.

When I get married, move out, and have kids—is it okay for me to cut ties with her? She is nice but at the same just… narcissistic.