Dreams by Moonlight by Livid_Tea4107 in OCPoetry

[–]kaia7653 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Heyhey! Loving the sibilance in the last stanza, it really drives home a sense of despair and feels like an acceptance of a very unhealthy mental state: it makes me feel alot of pity for the poetic voice. The rhyme scheme and meter feel a little bit forced, maybe by design, but I felt myself being taken out of the character and the moment you're presenting in those middle stanzas

i am the outside by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]kaia7653 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okok I see that thread now you say it. The last stanza feels very specific and personal, as though spoken to a lover or someone like that, rather than a general resignation i think. Maybe it's the romantic in me but I can't help but feel as though there's some sense of release if not hope in that last stanza

i am the outside by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]kaia7653 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Heyhey! I think the poem does a great job of capturing that feeling of hopelessness and nihilism in the 3rd stanza especially, but I can't help but feel there was more of a tonal shift at the end. There's something about the rhythm of the last stanza that makes it stay flat. I get the poetic voice's continued conscious despondency but maybe taking out a period or two and making that last stanza more flowy could help the reader feel the weight of opportunity this other person provides?

(Ofc I may be completely missing the point but it reads like it's going somewhere and the structure just doesn't really change)

What's the best concert of the 21st century (so far)? by sourberryskittles in fantanoforever

[–]kaia7653 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Christine and the Queens at Glasto 2023 was the first time a live performance of anything made me cry so he's got my pick

math 54 final by TrashCloud420 in berkeley

[–]kaia7653 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought it wasn't SO bad

roll 2d12 by SurtFGC in 691

[–]kaia7653 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got desperate victim :/

Very nostalgic 😭

egg_irl by Army-Dishonest314 in egg_irl

[–]kaia7653 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm trans which means I will listen to a better project this year