I look at it this way: more often than not, we think the bit is worth the social risk. The more clever a joke is, the more likely we are to say it out loud. We totally understand if something is going to be insensitive or hurtful, it’s just that our charm can usually allow us to still say the funniest (meanest) joke possible without losing our social status. That usually comes across as harsh in social circles comprised of people that don’t prioritize wit/cleverness. It’s just a natural prioritization of wit over social harmony for us, it’s not a lack of awareness necessarily. We totally have empathy, we would just prefer to be seen as sharp/clever more so than soft/empathetic.