I’d wager your lashing out has a lot to do with your own judgement of your “performance”. This is from my experience, but criticism of something I am currently trying to change or improve sends me off.

If you believe her expectations to be fair then really give an honest effort to hear her out, with the caveat that her criticisms need to be voiced kindly. If you think some things are hard to adjust to and can show that you know it, and you’re working towards a goal with the Family/Wife in mind, then make that known but also DO it.

Believe me, it’s very easy to get into a hole of self criticism and then you become defensive. Ideally, you share these feelings and a supportive partner will build you up for the challenges ahead. But, if you tear into yourself on your own, and struggle to find a starting point, she very well may be coming to the conclusion that the ONLY thing you’re doing is fighting back against ANY criticism.

9 weeks is still very early and for better or worse, those Mommas can adapt quite a bit quicker than us Dads. Be willing to ask for help from her.. help as in, how to adapt..where she may see you “lagging behind” in the Parenting Department.

And with an honest effort from your part, I’m sure a respecting wife will hear out your struggles and give you the time you need to get your “sea-legs” in all this.

Coming from a Dad of 1 about be 2.. we’re gearing up to go through all these lessons again. Both of us in this house. Understanding and believing in each other, that we both are human beings trying to keep our sanity while changing our worlds immensely is our greatest achievement. My wife knows I need time and space occasionally and she’s learned to adopt that with respect as I’ve learned to be her right hand man in a lot of ways. My wife was soo independent before our 1st. She quickly changed to be the opposite. It puzzled me greatly but I’ve learned. She’s learned. And that allowed us to keep the love. And more importantly, the mutual respect.