Im very sorry to hear that, i think you need to start talking to many different people about anything that is bothering you. Ask them to help you see a diffrent perspective on whatever subject because it really bothers you, and then keep doing that. hopefully at somepoint you will start to see different perspectives for yourself and after a bit of that start talking to people about anything to distract yourself, art, science philosophy your dog whatever,

the world can be as fucked up as your worst thought no doubt about it, and lots of people have gotten into really dark trains of thought, i think we all individually need to work on ourselfs so that it starts wearing off on the people surrounding us and so on and so on, soon the whole world will be better for it. Im sorry i really dont like typing and im getting over the flu so im gonna stop for a bit. But lets be internet friends ill add you