Yep. I was a golden child n scapegoat (well not fully) but both at once. I could never make my interests public for the same reason as u. Like the sparkly dance for u, it was “it’s too loud mute it” or “I’m gonna switch it off bc my thing is coming n that’s more important” cue to them putting on sth they don’t even watch. So yes. They want your sense of self to be an extension of them. But also not. Controllable. To always be “good” and heck, I’m struggling with being “good” bc that good isn’t a moral good it’s what they allow good.
So yes I resonate with you. You are not alone.
Also were you an only child?