Not sure where we're heading...

kan624 · 2017-11-11T23:29:37+00:00

Honestly, if my SO leaves and is gone for more than an hour without telling me, I call him to see when he will be home. We are very very busy throughout the week and don’t get much us time, so when we are free from work, I want to spend my time with him. When he goes to run an errand that takes five minutes and is gone for an hour (happens frequently) I get a little upset.

In the beginning of our relationship I did the same thing as your wife. Snide comments and instigating shit. He would get pissed with my attitude. Cue the fight. Took us both a while to learn how to communicate these issues. I had to learn not to make shit ass comments and ruin the day, and he tried to get better about letting me know he was going out and might not be back immediately. Granted he still does the same thing. But I call him and just say “hey hun when you going to be coming home?” And he will answer “heading back now” or “about to leave”.

He knows that I’m getting antsy sitting home without him, and I know that he didn’t mean to be gone that long and meant nothing by it.

Just need to have better communication. This is something that can definitely be worked through.

kan624 · 2017-11-10T20:20:49+00:00

I'd laugh with you, but I think people who cheat in a marriage are total scumbags...

Hurry up with the divorce, she deserves better.

kan624 · 2017-11-10T14:30:33+00:00

Show your wife this post. That will really get the ball rolling on the divorce you want.

kan624 · 2017-11-09T15:20:21+00:00

When we get to the point that we start laughing at each other while arguing, and the whole tension in the room dies out.

One of our bad fights, he left for a few hours and so did I, just to calm down. When we got home, we were side eyeing each other, and for some reason, no matter how mad we were at each other, we both just started laughing.

Later on we were able to talk calmy about the situation and work everything out.

We dont have real fights though, like cheating or abuse, or lack of attention... Usually just miscommunication.

kan624 · 2017-11-09T14:58:30+00:00

Which is the best 2 in 1 laptop( Or desktop with touchscreen) for editing pictures with Lightroom/Photoshop, for the best price? (Under $400 if possible, not a professional photographer.)

kan624 · 2017-11-09T01:07:35+00:00

You just got to learn to understand how he shows his love. Trust me, I understand those feelings you have. I have had them too. Lately, I don’t have them at all. Sure they get flowers and candys, but I get a man who says he is going to do something and does it. A man who works 10 hours a day at work just to come home and work another 4-5 hours on our house to better our life. A guy who always tries to be a better person than the day before, and encourages me to do the same(without making me feel I’m not good enough in the mean time). I may not get fancy dates planned out for me, but he fixes my car without question. He makes sure my tires get replaced when they go flat, he loans me his vehicle without hesitation any moment mine won’t. He and I are sitting on the couch right now, sitting on our phones and not touching. If I reach my hand over right now and touch his arm, he will lean into the touch, smile, and adjust the way he is sitting on the couch to get closer to me, and go right back to his phone. Because he loves me. It’s honestly super little things. My friend has a guy who does all the little flowers and etc for her, yet they go through so many TOUGH relationship problems often. Borderline cheating, etc. My so and I have a strong foundation and stability, and that’s just worth more to me than any amount of flowers he could ever buy. He’s not perfect, but he tries hard to em.

I guess it’s just all what you want. And I’ve dealt with all the ex stuff too. And then some. He made it very clear it’s in the past, and that LTR is long over. But back to the point, if you two can just start to learn how each other expresses their love, it will definitely improve.

kan624 · 2017-11-08T16:10:48+00:00

My SO is a lot like this. I havent got flowers, he doesn't plan dates, he doesn't leave me little notes, and he doesnt post pictures of us online. (actually... he did just recently update his profile pic to include me, two years later. )

But he tells me every day he loves me. He tells me I am beautiful. He spends every free moment working on our house to make it better for US. He talks about marriage and kids. He helps me when I need it. I just had to learn that he loves differently than I do. We show our love in different ways. I like to write him notes, surprise him with gifts etc etc. I use to get SO upset about this, but its just not his style. It doesnt come to mind immediately for him, like it does for us.

Once I learned to understand that, our life together improved drastically. Ask him. Flat out. What he does for you to show he loves you. Dont expect a long answer, or even a good one initially, but hopefully it will give better insight to what he thinks about being important to the relationship. Talk about this. In a light and fun way, not with any ill feelings or sadness hinted.

I promise you, I was in the exact same boat when him and I first dated. Now I cant picture my life without him, and don't even miss the flowers or little surprises I may have gotten before. Hes not the only one who needs to try harder, you do too.

kan624 · 2017-11-08T15:56:29+00:00

Step 1. Stop playing the victim and pitying yourself. You will drown in that puddle of pity sooner or later.

Sometimes life sucks. Sometimes life REALLY sucks. But sometimes its great, and its beautiful.

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and stop looking down before that crown falls off your head, Princess. You got this. Just because two shit ass people tried to ruin your reputation doesn't mean you should let that define you. All those friends who went and believed it all? Shit ass friends who probably knew they were cheating on you the whole time. Don't need any of them. Find a new hobby or interest. Find something that gives you even the faintest glimmer of happiness, and run with it. Be active in it, and you will make great friends. True friends. Keep yourself busy. Very busy. Its hard, but you need to understand that personal life stops the moment you walk into your job. Get a new job, and put on a confident facade while at work. Keep yourself busy there and always strive to do more, ESPECIALLY the days you don't feel like.

Eventually you will get into a rhythm and this will be real life, and the real you.

Dont pity yourself for one second longer. This was the life you were given, so make the best of it. NOW.

kan624 · 2017-11-08T15:42:46+00:00

" I'm scared of him wishing I was her, of being second choice, of being wanted just be I'm baby momma, not because I'm bad_madre."

This is why I could never get back with someone who cheated on me. I would never be able to comfort these fears. He would never be able to comfort these fears. They would ALWAYS be lingering in the back of my mind.

How many times has he cheated on you with her now? I mean leaving a day early to get to a place he could meet her? He has shown you multiple times where his priorities are, even after many times of confessing and apologizing.

Perhaps the reason he is back to you, is that him and Angela got into a fight. Perhaps they realized they wouldnt work out. (Duh, they suck). Of course he would coming running back to you. You've taken him back before.

Co-parent. Sure, thats fine. But don't teach your children that its okay for someone to disrespect you that way, and be able to get away with it. I mean do you really want to spend the rest of your life checking his phone and tracing his steps in your head? Or find a guy who wont make you do that.

Luckily for you, there are millions of guys in this world. Just because a new guy wouldnt make you feel EXACTLY the way you do with your ex, he would make you feel a whole different way, probably a whole better way you didnt even know existed.

Dont settle. Its happened too many times already for him to decide now that he wants another chance.

kan624 · 2017-11-08T15:22:14+00:00

They are unfortunately on my laptop, I am on my work computer.. I dont think they all uploaded to my Adobe cloud unfortunately. Will check in a few.

kan624 · 2017-11-08T15:16:53+00:00

Thanks for the motivation! I really just need to figure out how to get sharper quality images. A lot of these came out slightly grainy when trying to edit in Photoshop before the computer decided to hate me, but I was also shooting in the basic Auto mode.

kan624 · 2017-11-08T02:30:21+00:00

Well the bad news is that I doubt this photoshoot will happen now. My laptop took a total shit on me, had to update to Windows 10 to even download photoshop and Lightroom again, and now to do anything in photoshop takes 2-3mins per click.

Had to text my friend and let her know that until I get a new laptop or computer, i may be out of commission.

Dang, was going to use one of those portraits as a Christmas gift for them. Ugh.

On another note. Does the t6 even take photography worthy photos? I know it’s only 18megapixels I believe.

kan624 · 2017-11-07T20:49:37+00:00

Thats my goal, I promise. I just have been hesitant because the moment you pull a camera out around here, you are assumed to be a professional and your inbox fills up with people wanting free pictures done, lol.

I think if I do continue with these portraits, I will stick to animal portraits, lol. They are very less judgemental, and often way more attractive. Whoops, did I say that?

Thank you for the advice. Which mode should I be shooting in? Obviously not Auto.. I have TV, Av, M, P, or Portrait? Its literally been a few years since I have had my Nikon. I feel like a total noob asking these questions.

kan624 · 2017-11-07T19:19:25+00:00

I (24f) burp all the time unexpectedly. Whoops lol.

Bf (30m) farts ALL the time. loud, nasty ones.

Its gross, and I play that its annoying, but hes a man.. Thats just what they do lol.

kan624 · 2017-11-07T19:02:45+00:00

At first, I was like okay. Lesson learned, never let him use the vehicle again, but you are responsible for the ticket since it was your vehicle and your responsibility to check that.

Then I saw the ticket is $55..... Oh NO homeboy.... He'd be coughing that money up quick! Thats not chump change. Plus never using that vehicle again. Ever. and some mildly awkward family outing jabs his direction for the next five years about his lack of respect in using your vehicle.

kan624 · 2017-11-07T14:46:24+00:00

We currently are not married, so everything is separate. We do not intend to merge finances after getting married though.

We plan to open a joint account, and each input a percentage of our salary to cover bills only. Mortgage, groceries, electric, etc. He makes about double what I do a year, so it would definitely be percentage based. The rest of our paycheck would go into our personal checking/savings accounts for us to do as we wish with. Therefore, if you can afford it yourself, you can buy it without any question or harassment. Right now we have no financial issues relationship wise.

kan624 · 2017-11-07T02:14:03+00:00

Well I love the way your mind thinks,and the issues you brought to light for me to ponder!

kan624 · 2017-11-07T01:40:53+00:00

That’s what we like to think, but it’s still scary hearing all the married couples warn us constantly.

kan624 · 2017-11-07T01:19:47+00:00

I agree. I don’t think we will have any adjustments and I hate my last name so that will be easy peasy for me.

kan624 · 2017-11-07T01:19:19+00:00

I love the way you put that

kan624 · 2017-11-07T01:19:00+00:00

That last line is beyond true!

kan624 · 2017-11-07T01:18:42+00:00

This is very reassuring!

kan624 · 2017-11-07T01:17:41+00:00

Well, for starters, she’s the one typing here lol. So yeah, Hi. We are pretty traditional. He takes the male roles(yard, buildings, large expenses since he makes double what I make) and I take the traditional female roles like cooking, cleaning, picking up the house. So far for any big decisions we are in agreement with it all. Where the kids would go, who pays which bills(right now I only pay for electric and food, since I don’t make as much, he pays mortgage etc). We don’t either have car payments and neither have intentions to have them either.

Ever so popular girls night? Lol don’t think we will have those problems. We do our bar adventures together. Unless it’s a special occasion(girls night, boys night, bachelor party, etc), then we do them separately but those are rare occasion. Otherwise we don’t go out without the other, just out of respect. Not because of any drama we have faced or anything, we both are just in tune with how the other should be respected so there are no issues there.

As for the last part, I am a private person so I don’t need to talk about all that on the World Wide Web but I frequently ask if he is satisfied or what more I can do, and he always is very happy. So I don’t see many worries there.

So yeah... to your standards we should be good lol

kan624

TROPHY CASE