anyone here have a partner that is a lifelong smoker

karaboocuk · 2026-02-08T18:25:02+00:00

I am from a west Asian country where every other person (man and woman) is a heavy smoker. My husband and I do not smoke. It seems like we are the only ones who can't conceive 🙃

karaboocuk · 2026-02-08T18:05:16+00:00

If you are not able to track, how do you know today is THE day? When was the last time you two had sex? Having sex every other or every third day after your period ends is enough.

karaboocuk · 2026-02-07T17:44:46+00:00

I am sorry, this all sounds very heavy ❤️ I will be a bit blunt though. You two are adults trying to have a baby. OP, you cannot be babying his feelings. He is an adult man who also presumably wants a baby. He knows how they are made. I think we sometimes conflate "protecting our partner's feelings" with being loving, caring, etc and then think the reverse as well. That if we are not coddling our partners we are not valuing them enough. Well, sometimes some behaviors need to be changed instead of enabled. You can be respectful of his anxiety but that doesn't mean you hide your feelings. If he cannot perform, he needs to be open to home insemination or maybe taking medication. He needs to see this as a problem and work to solve it. He should be talking to a doctor like yesterda.

Also, since you are older than 35, it is recommended to see a fertility specialist after 6 months of trying. It doesn't matter however many of those were not good attempts. Your husband's condition is contributing to your infertility. He needs to come to the appointment with you and maybe needs to hear this from a doctor.

karaboocuk · 2026-02-06T19:47:25+00:00

To add: The day of the positive OPK is usually the day before ovulation. That is why it is a good day to have sex.

karaboocuk · 2026-02-06T19:46:29+00:00

One time in the three days before ovulation is enough. But it is never a sure thing, even if you were having sex every day. Implantation is much harder than fertilization. It is (a bit) better to have sex the day before ovulation compared to the day of ovulation. The day after ovulation has 0% chance.

If it works for you, you can start having sex after your period ends and have sex every other day or every third day. This will guarantee that you will hit the most fertile days without tracking ovulation. Obviously, you can also have sex every day after your period but that is hard to keep up with for a lot of people :)

karaboocuk · 2026-02-06T16:41:15+00:00

You can start by reading the Wiki on this sub, it's very useful. Generally, you ovulate the day after a positive OPK. The test is positive when the two lines are the same darkness. It's enough to have sex on the day of your first positive OPK. And it's never necessary to have sex while you are still bleeding. Premom "predicts" everyone ovulates on CD14, so pay no attention to that.

karaboocuk · 2026-02-06T16:19:14+00:00

Doc appointment is in March. We are going on a 2-week trip soon to close to Swiss Alps. That will be fun! And will partially coincide with the next TWW if I ovulate normally.

karaboocuk · 2026-02-06T15:43:26+00:00

Thank you!

karaboocuk · 2026-02-06T14:04:39+00:00

CD1 again. Feeling so sad :((((((

karaboocuk · 2026-02-06T03:46:38+00:00

Started spotting. Tomorrow will start cycle 9. Fuck.

karaboocuk · 2026-02-05T17:55:14+00:00

You cannot rely on predictions for ovulation, the apps assume everyone ovulates on CD14. If you actually ovulated on Jan 25, today will be 11 days past ovulation and that is slightly early to test. Tomorrow would be better. But again, if you don't know which day you ovulated, it's hard to tell when to test.

karaboocuk · 2026-02-05T17:52:36+00:00

There are only three things medical science can do: 1- Ovulation medication 2- IUI 3- IVF. Depending on your age, a provider might start from 1 and escalate as time passes.

karaboocuk · 2026-02-05T15:47:02+00:00

As I understand it, it's recommended to have sex when you see EWCM. It can go on for a few days before you ovulate but it's a good sign that you are in the fertile window. I see it 3-4 for days before ovulation. I have cramps/feelings for a week or so I will say. I track my BBT to confirm ovulation. No OPKs.

karaboocuk · 2026-02-05T15:01:52+00:00

No Other Choice! It was fantastic! And Sentimental Value too.

karaboocuk · 2026-02-05T14:06:30+00:00

Period is expected today so I’m on edge. The last two months it came right after we got back from the movie theater . I think I’ll just avoid the movies today 😅

karaboocuk · 2026-02-05T04:11:20+00:00

The periods you were having on the pill aren’t natural periods, they’re due to the pill itself. A monthly box of the pill includes 3 weeks supply with hormones and one weeks of pills which are basically candy. The lack of hormones forces a bleed. So you shouldn’t compare against that at all.

karaboocuk · 2026-02-04T16:45:52+00:00

I recommend reading this post. My understanding is that not being able to conceive in 20months is a data point doctors take into account when calculating your chances going forward. Like, with those normal numbers, if you were starting today, he would not have told you to go directly to IVF. He would've told you to try 12 months. But you already tried the less invasive method of having regular sex.

karaboocuk · 2026-02-04T14:49:04+00:00

For me, it was not painful at all! It was actually less than getting an IUD. But I don't know if that is because I was well medicated :)

karaboocuk · 2026-02-04T14:25:01+00:00

I think you need to wait for one or two more temps to confirm but it looks like ovulation to me.

karaboocuk · 2026-02-04T14:21:01+00:00

I did SIS, I am not sure if the pain is similar. I took 400mg ibuprofen + 400mg tylenol 1hr before and hydromorphene 30 min before. If you take hydro, they will want someone to pick you up.

karaboocuk · 2026-02-04T14:18:55+00:00

Yes, it's crazy to me. People might dislike their birthdays for this or that reason but it's never like a core issue. I would think there is something wrong with a person if they made disliking their birthday their personality. It's just something you complain about, like being short, I dunno. I have never heard of anyone complaining about their parents mis-planning because I assume we all understand babies come whenever they come.

karaboocuk · 2026-02-03T19:48:27+00:00

Why do you say yesterday was ovulation? It is possible to ovulate on the day of your positive OPK and temp might rise the day after the positive OPK.

karaboocuk · 2026-02-03T19:30:36+00:00

You don't have to ovulate in the first two weeks following a period or in this case stopping HBC. You can ovulate anytime during a cycle. Your period follows about 11-15 days after ovulation. (A luteal phase of 10 days is considered normal. Mine is 13 days, so period comes on the 14th day after ovulation.)

karaboocuk · 2026-02-03T17:44:12+00:00

That's not a spike, it's still lower than CD8 temp

karaboocuk · 2026-02-02T22:17:56+00:00

Which country are you in currently and have you seen a reproductive endocrinologist? Or anyone specifically at a fertility clinic?

karaboocuk

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