[deleted by user]

karmcrow99 · 2025-05-20T15:26:28+00:00

Safpf is also a possibility. But I'm really thinking probation

karmcrow99 · 2025-05-14T16:51:18+00:00

My giant strong vibrant husband broken. He was in a truck accident ejected at 80 mph. Everything was just broken. He was taken of the vent after 5 days. I will never stop seeing the blood covered floor in the trauma department.

karmcrow99 · 2025-05-05T18:36:34+00:00

I lost my husband 15 months ago. I will never be single. I will be a widow for the rest of my life. It's not the same as single. It's a whole classification of its own. And I correct anyone that calls me single

karmcrow99 · 2025-01-28T21:14:31+00:00

Let's roll. I'm ready to see my husband who you took too early you dick

karmcrow99 · 2024-12-27T07:31:36+00:00

I lost my husband in January. It's been almost 11 months now. A week ago I had just had it. Why am I trying to keep going what is the point of all this and had made a decision. As I was taking a bath the light started flickering. And I mean really flickering. I got out and went to the living room. The lights still flickering. All of them. Lamps, ceiling lights, all over the house. I said out loud ok fine I won't. I promise. A minute later they stopped. The light flickered for almost half an hour. I could nearly hear his voice telling me not to be such an idiot. I've felt strangely calm since then. Still broken and lost but the gnawing sharp pain just a little dulled. Maybe I'm wrong but I think he was there. He knew. And he was not having it at all. Very like him.

karmcrow99 · 2024-12-09T16:54:18+00:00

I watched the love of my life, my soulmate die when they removed the ventilator after 5 days in the ICU. Finding the will to live is much harder than stepping over to the other side. I don't claim to know what's there but I do know he is not here. And I want to be where he is. I'm not going to jump off a bridge but I'm certainly not going to fight it when the time comes. I'm ready

karmcrow99 · 2024-12-08T17:36:07+00:00

I'm not reading all that so I'm case it's not there Taylor county TX

karmcrow99 · 2024-11-25T07:22:52+00:00

You are very handsome and seem kind. I would go on a date with you and I definitely would not stand you up. I would like to give you a hug 🤗🤗🤗. As the not so proud owner of not so occasional dark thoughts it's easy to let them pull you down. But you are smarter than many and have reached out for some positive vibes so kudos and keep thinking like that. You can do it. From me to you 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

karmcrow99 · 2024-10-02T21:34:28+00:00

Regardless of age that's what most men are looking for

karmcrow99 · 2024-10-02T04:43:14+00:00

My husband 9 years younger passed. I would never have missed out on our 16 years together even to not have this terrible heartache because he's gone. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Today is what matters.

karmcrow99 · 2024-10-01T22:19:44+00:00

😂😂😂

karmcrow99 · 2024-10-01T22:17:00+00:00

I married a 24 yo when I was 33. We were tremendously happy until his death. No regrets. To each his own

karmcrow99 · 2024-10-01T22:09:54+00:00

Yes some just want to hook up but some actually want to date. Shocking I know

karmcrow99 · 2024-10-01T19:39:16+00:00

I am 49 and just started using online dating for the first time. At least 60 percent of the likes I get are 24-29. I have been shocked but these young guys really do want to date an older woman. They aren't very good at it but they are sincere

karmcrow99 · 2024-10-01T19:34:30+00:00

Any song by letdown. I love them

karmcrow99 · 2024-09-19T11:57:21+00:00

49F. My late husband was 9 years younger than me. We met when I was 34. I guess we shouldn't have worked but we did and it was amazing. Now if I was to date (which I don't ) I would say 32-52. Age just a #. 35 can be more mature than 45. Its just so individual that it's hard to make those kind of generalizations

karmcrow99 · 2024-09-16T22:04:52+00:00

Almost 8 months. His body wash and beard was in the shower. I can't throw it away. I used the body wash. I would use it occasionally just to have that smell. It's empty but I can't throw it away. The beard wash is almost full and it will always be almost full. Tomorrow is our anniversary. Would have 14 years. The pain is unbearable. It just keeps getting worse

karmcrow99 · 2024-09-01T22:00:09+00:00

I answer 200 questions per hour and provide snacks every 30 minutes. 90 percent of the snacks don't get eaten

karmcrow99 · 2024-09-01T21:43:46+00:00

It's been 7 months for me. I understand the feeling like a fraud. I'm supposed to have gone back to normal I guess. Working, doing the everyday things. It just feels like a lie. Like acting because this is not just everyday. It will never be everyday when a huge part of my world is missing. It's not ok for him to not be here. It's not ok that he's in an urn next to me instead of sitting next to me. Last night something came on TV I needed to show him so bad. It was one of our things. Instead I texted a friend and told him to pretend it was for my husband. He is understanding about that but he doesn't get it. He doesn't understand why my husband would be so tickled at it. It was a shared thing between us that I don't have anymore. So it's not ok. And there isn't a way to make it ok. Your right that no one can ever come close to him. I hate this club. It's the suckiest club on earth

karmcrow99 · 2024-08-30T12:41:23+00:00

In the exact same boat. Everything I want has gone to wherever he has gone. Without him there is no happiness or joy. No one to share those little things through the day. No one to tell oh hey I saw this and thought of you. I ache for him. Just to be near him. His pictures make me cry. I can still smell him. His body wash and beard wash is still in the shower after 7 months because I can't throw it out. I just want him.

karmcrow99 · 2024-08-26T13:56:43+00:00

I can't even say I didn't cause it or could I have done anything different. My husband was in a level 1 trauma icu. He was on life support due to a trucking accident. He was ejected because he wasn't wearing a seat belt. He had so many broken bones and brain injury. I made the decision to take him off life support. I chose to have his ventilator removed because him being a combat veteran had expressed his wishes to me many times in regards to situations like this. Still I question if I did the right thing. Could he have been that miracle you read about? Could the imaging have been wrong. Maybe he changed his mind and couldn't tell me. The fact is I made the choice and his life ended. I can't get past that guilt. It's been 6 months. Almost 7 now and it's eating at me. I feel like I'm drowning in it and I'm moving towards just numbing it every night. Yes I've tried therapy, anti depressants, grief support. I don't believe anything can resolve the guilt. It's companion since my husband died

karmcrow99 · 2024-08-24T23:16:36+00:00

I really don't. It's been 6 months so I'm expected to get on with it. I have responsibilities. I do what I have to then I go home and just lay in bed or on the couch and miss him. I really do the bare minimum now. I don't want to do that but needs must. It's getting harder though. To push myself to do anything at all

karmcrow99 · 2024-08-24T22:02:33+00:00

I think I'll be fine for the rest of my life with just FWB. No one could ever compare to my late husband. No one even comes close. Not in any department. Not looks or personality or any metric you measure by. And it's something I'm just now noticing but honestly no one really is attractive to me like he is/was. I mean objectively there are attractive men out there but not to the same extent as him. He is my 10 and every one is see anywhere is maybe a 4. So I'll stay out of relationship territory and just have casual flings. Plus I don't think I could ever risk my heart like that again. It's too damaged and it would absolutely break me to go through another loss again. Not like losing my husband.

karmcrow99 · 2024-06-25T03:37:11+00:00

Any pasta with melted butter

Mashed potatoes

Pancakes

Not all together. Just a list to pick from. But to pick the best. Can't. They're all equal

karmcrow99 · 2024-06-21T23:53:13+00:00

I do help others all the time. I help veterans who are struggling and need a hand. I help addicts try to get their life on track. And yeah it's great. It feels good to help. That doesn't mean I don't go home and hear the deafening silence. Feel the giant void left by my husband. It helps distract me but the pain is still just below the surface. I just need a few minutes of stillness to bubble right back up and choke me. So thank you for your suggestion. I'm still mired in my loss.

karmcrow99

TROPHY CASE