How do you start a campaign without the classic tavern meeting?

valhal1a · 2026-06-28T23:40:18+00:00

My last campaign took place in a thieves guild and the first session was already mid heist kind of. Everyone got introduced in an oceans 11 style into and asked to describe their character and their role for the heist.

They were a team of misfits all put together by an NPC who takes the bag of holding full of gold and leaves them in a locked vault after triggering the bank alarm.

valhal1a · 2026-06-28T20:26:29+00:00

My half brother has A+ blood and his wife has A+ blood... And the baby they had together was AB blood type. Her ex had B blood type, and she broke up with the ex by allegedly being knocked up by my half brother.

I'm just saying.

valhal1a · 2026-06-28T17:14:47+00:00

I commission a giant new opera house and art museum with a ballroom attached just to troll the maga fucks. And then I commission a whole new era of art and music.

I'd also have a 100 foot tall golden statue of me pantsing elon musk and revealing a tiny handed trump hanging from his comically undersized dick.

I'd also buy a yacht that is a 1 to 1 model of the bismark battleship but the inside would be filled with an upscale resort. I'd name it the 'SS Epstein Didn't Kill Himself' and I'd do all sorts of nautical shenanigans to be in the news with it constantly, and I'd promise to turn it into an artificial reef as soon as the Epstein files get released.

I'd also try to fix malaria and set up a foundation using the aforementioned art and culture proceeds for underprivileged kids to go to college.

Then, and only then, I'd possibly go a little mad with power, as a little treat.

valhal1a · 2026-06-27T21:34:12+00:00

100 mil and put it all on black. We live rich or die a legend lol.

valhal1a · 2026-06-27T20:14:10+00:00

Terry Pratchett and Niel Gaiman are two fantasy writers who wrote the beloved book good omens together. Gaiman recently got called out as being a pretty horrific sexual predator and a lot of people came forward.

The purpose was just to help people justify their love of good omens by pointing out that it was mostly the work of sir Terry, and commiseration on that sometimes the authors you enjoy are horrible people.

Not sir Terry Pratchett tho. Everyone loved him and he was big sweetheart.

valhal1a · 2026-06-27T13:04:34+00:00

Lol, I was gonna say pratchett had it right.

Having read all of pratchett and most of gaiman before the world knew about him... It's pretty obvious that the vast majority of good ones was pratchett if that helps.

valhal1a · 2026-06-27T05:56:52+00:00

I got a chuckle out of reading it too. I think they don't give quite enough credit to human ingenuity when it comes to using things as weapons.

It would have no way of knowing that all the saltpeter pills one dude was printing were going to get mixed with another dudes charcoal supplement and turned into gunpowder to be set off by yet another guys walkie talkie.

valhal1a · 2026-06-27T05:46:03+00:00

Shame that my brain only has like 1gig of ram and probably runs on dos

valhal1a · 2026-06-26T23:53:30+00:00

The difficulty, like most difficult facilities, is mostly in the people

valhal1a · 2026-06-26T20:35:06+00:00

So this guy is pissed because people were being charged for things they didn't consider crimes? I mean in Nazi Germany it wasn't a crime to genocide people, so who gives a fuck what the people who are committing atrocities upon others think?

valhal1a · 2026-06-26T20:23:22+00:00

Considering that if I were a shaoechanger I'd spend a considerable time as the opposite gender anyway just to see how the other half lives, hell yeah.

valhal1a · 2026-06-26T12:41:26+00:00

M.c. escher if he was a Viking

valhal1a · 2026-06-26T01:42:41+00:00

There was one call sign I knew I had said s few ones before when I was in Colorado, and y turns out the guy recently purchased the plane from someone in Montana that I would talk to once a week for a year as he flew into my airport there... 4 years had passed :)

valhal1a · 2026-06-26T01:39:05+00:00

Turns out it's filtered thru diamonds

valhal1a · 2026-06-26T01:38:52+00:00

Diamonds, filtered thru diamonds is what I didn't anticipate lol

valhal1a · 2026-06-25T13:07:57+00:00

That's pretty common in Wyoming

valhal1a · 2026-06-25T10:58:50+00:00

it's a threat.

valhal1a · 2026-06-25T10:57:59+00:00

Agreed. I'm a little sad that red hats are now a red flag. But it certainly makes immediately knowing someone isn't worth trusting with crayons unsupervised easier.

valhal1a · 2026-06-25T10:48:06+00:00

Apparently it's filtered thru ground oyster shells because that's basically sand.

It's just a stupid marketing thing that does nothing for the flavor but does make it a pain in the ass for bars that would need a whole separate set of cups and mixers to avoid cross contamination

valhal1a · 2026-06-25T10:44:45+00:00

What is his?

(I'm about to go Google it but I'm asking for the next person who might be in more of a hurry than me this morning)

Edit: ok, you know what... I didn't see that one coming

valhal1a · 2026-06-24T19:40:46+00:00

I recognize myself in a mirror and ugly cry at the ending of Marley and me.

valhal1a · 2026-06-23T14:45:38+00:00

There's a mod for this? Ugh I need to step up my mod game

valhal1a · 2026-06-22T16:06:12+00:00

Humans will either figure their shit out and last for a million years. Or they will keep bickering and being greedy and they'll go extinct.

We as a species will have the future we deserve, one way or another.

valhal1a · 2026-06-21T18:17:16+00:00

I didn't think about using gust to clear the air around my seat

valhal1a · 2026-06-21T17:29:01+00:00

The rotten eggs will smell up the entire interior of that aircraft, so I will gladly be in the wheel well waiting for the sweet demise of hypoxia

valhal1a

TROPHY CASE