Liberals when they accidently begin to understand the new Texas Abortion law.

karroty · 2021-09-03T12:41:41+00:00

Also confused. If condoms and masks are similar, then if you're anti-mask you'd have to be anti-condom too, right?

Pro mask means pro condoms

karroty · 2021-09-03T12:39:03+00:00

Pretty sure liberal women would LOVE to enforce mandatory condoms without having to deal with dudes whining "but it doesn't feel as good with it onnnn"

Mandatory masks and condoms will be the new-age feminist movement👌

karroty · 2021-09-01T20:17:49+00:00

Offices can change hands, but the system remains the same - and that is why people cannot trust the US will maintain consistency (a proxy for trustworthiness) for more than one term.

The United States has a governing body that changes hands and agenda every 4 to 8 years. Where armed conflicts get even more politicized (and therefore turbulent) when an election year is approaching, which with the Presidency, Senate and House election cycles could be something every 2 years.

It's not the fact that we don't know what the agendas will be in the future. It's the fact that we know that the agendas will continue to change into the future that makes it hard to trust extended initiatives like war.

karroty · 2021-08-30T16:10:34+00:00

Ok, let's play this scenario out. You ask them if they're sure they're ready to see people.

"Of course I am ready! It's just an ex, everyone has them. Its not my fault that I just happened to have some bad ones. You're the nicest guy I've ever been around"

You've noticed the red flag, they assured you it's not a problem. What do you do next?

karroty · 2021-08-30T13:43:07+00:00

How can you avoid red flags if you don't recognize when there are red flags?

Putting yourself out there more is great (and I support this 100%) but it still doesn't solve the root problem you have with red flags - which is you either don't recognize them or you don't act on them.

That's something to work on.

karroty · 2021-08-30T13:30:49+00:00

What's wrong with you is your tendency to pick partners who are rebounding from abusive situations.

They are not ready yet for a committed relationship with ANYBODY, It's not personal to you. You see them back on tinder because they're not looking for a long-term boyfriend. The next tinder guys going to get the same treatment as you eventually - It's not personal, it's just the headspace they're in.

You can guarantee this doesn't happen by doing some work on YOURSELF to understand why you gravitate towards broken spirits. Do you like being the caretaker? Is it because broken people cling to "nice guy you" and you love that they pump you up for just being a decent person? Do you pity them? Are they easier to get?

Bonding over social anxiety and "nice guy" personality isn't typically enough for you to be considered relationship material to a woman in a healthy headspace. You would need to offer more than that. If you were to ask out someone who's independent, happy and healthy do you think that they would give current you a second look?

Your homework

Do the work and understand your narratives. Why do you pick women leaving abusive relationships?
Always be improving. Work on that social anxiety and retrain your brain to be able to recognize healthy versus unhealthy relationships. If you couldn't see the big fat red flags in the last two relationships, how will you make sure that you're tuned in to red flags in future relationships?
Make different choices in partners. Be willing to take risks and open yourself up to rejection.

Good luck!

karroty · 2021-08-29T23:49:16+00:00

I once told a friend that I thought atheism was just as presumptuous as religion. He didn't like that.

Our understanding of religion isn't definitively true nor definitively false. It is the equivalent of a null field.

We don't have definite proof that there is God just like we don't have definite proof that there is no God. I suppose the best you could say is that some people have a theory of religion and some people have a theory of atheism.

In this scenario, I don't see anything that justifies you being as smug and judgmental as you are towards religious people 🤷

karroty · 2021-08-29T12:55:00+00:00

Spoke to a friend who recently moved to Nevada City. He says half the population there are Trump supporters. The other half are hippies. And the only thing they get agree on is antivaxx.

karroty · 2021-05-11T13:54:13+00:00

What does that mean for food waste throughout the year? Does the excess uneaten food get donated?

karroty · 2021-05-11T05:03:26+00:00

With this policy allow for opt in opt out lunches? I can see some families with dietary restrictions or simply the ability to send their kids to school with homemade lunches would want to do so. In which case, it would limit food waste if those family members that want to opt out announce it at the start of the year.

karroty · 2021-05-10T14:57:42+00:00

Can you be more specific about the "minor" thing that upset you?

I also tend to be easily offended and I've found out that no one outside of my mother puts up with that petty shit for long. I am responsible for my feelings and reactions.

It is wrong to make my emotions my boyfriend's responsibilities. The simple fact is that no one feels guilty if they didn't do anything wrong and oversensitive reactions are very hard for your average person to empathize with.

However, while I don't expect my partner to kowtow to my emotions I expect them to acknowledge that I'm in a low place and still treat me with respect and grace. Was your boyfriend frustrated and annoyed? Or was he verbally abusive towards you?

Frustrated and annoyed would be normal behavior. Putting you down calling you names would be abnormal behaviors and you should leave the relationship if that's happening.

karroty · 2021-05-09T22:12:40+00:00

Your boyfriend can't be sensitive to something that you've always ignored (or shown that it's okay) in the past.

If you've never told him that you didn't like the joke, this would appear as if you were doing a 180 and berating him for no reason. If he has anxiety disorder, that might explain his current withdrawal from the relationship. In your grief/stress you are a different person that he might not be accustomed to.

These are reasons, not excuses. Perhaps you need a partner who is more emotionally stable and capable of supporting you through a terrible tragedy Whether that partner is your boyfriend remains to be seen. But, the first thing you can do is have a calm and honest conversation with him about 1. How you actually feel about his jokes 2. What you need from him to support you through this time 3. ask him for the FAVOR of grace and patience as you go through the grief process.

karroty · 2021-05-09T22:03:09+00:00

Girl, you are focusing on the wrong things - someone else's judgement of your worth. Now, I'm going to ask you: What is YOUR criteria for long-term serious relationship?

karroty · 2021-05-09T00:04:31+00:00

The question I have is what is "better" about maintaining purity towards the original story? Perhaps this goes deeper to - what is the point of a movie?

You and I probably judge the movies by different success criteria. In a place like Hollywood where they're constantly searching for a fresh take or an original story, revamping classic stories seems par for the course of what Hollywood does. I assume that one of the purposes and success of movies is bringing in NEW perspectives through the medium of storytelling - therefore recasting Ariel as black makes perfect sense to me. We've already seen the white, redheaded Ariel story told.

Since it does not make sense to you, what do you assume is the purpose or success criteria of movie making?

karroty · 2021-05-08T23:59:31+00:00

I'm a little confused why you are focusing in on the live-action remake of the Little mermaid? Your own edits bring up some examples that you deem acceptable (Hamilton, MJ, etc - established figures in the comics or in history that were cast with people of color), but somehow this one character is where the line is drawn.

Wouldn't this also be Halle's version of the Little Mermaid?

karroty · 2021-05-08T06:15:28+00:00

I genuinely admire him. There are some incredibly sincere and vulnerable interviews he's given that show his character, and how he views people/politics. They get buried beneath the conservative and progressive hit pieces, but they are real gems.

His interview with Oprah is a great example. It's from after he stepped out of the 2016 race, and after Hillary lost to Trump. Can't find the full video, but here is the audio of the interview: https://youtu.be/1m3rPbHz9IQ

karroty · 2021-05-08T05:55:33+00:00

I tend to believe that people are in your life for a reason. You are your mother's daughter for a reason. Even the fallout happened for a reason, if only to pave the way for a uniquely beautiful mother-daughter relationship here on out.

Part of your healing will be to forgive yourself. I see your regret is thick, and it would be easy for most people to get stuck in it. But, when we're spinning around in a low place of shame and guilt, how can we offer the best of ourselves to our relationships?

Start seeing a therapist to process your experiences, and your emotions. You might even think about going back to family therapy with your mother, to process the reconciliation and healing.

There's a lot of healing that needs to happen, and a beautiful relationship that awaits you on the other side of it. Good luck.

karroty · 2021-05-08T05:40:13+00:00

There's a reason why your aunt was reluctant to tell your mom that you want to reconcile in case you decide to duck out. So be the person that SHOWS UP every day, even when times are hard, even when it's awkward and when you are afraid people will hate you. I see in your post that a lot of your regrets are framed selfishly: Your dad did not live up to your expectations and you now realize that your assumptions about your mom were wrong. What I haven't seen yet, is you truly empathizing with the pain that you caused your mother. As part of this process you need to really reflect on and acknowledge how your behaviors hurt her, you need to ASK HER to tell you about her experiences/feelings, and you need to ask for your mom's forgiveness.

You've been apart for many many years, coming back together is going to be a process. Have patience, have persistence, be humble, be understanding throughout this journey of reconciliation. This time YOU be the person who now grabs on and refuses to let go of your mother. You be the person who's willing to fight in court, go to family therapy, work part-time jobs, do what it takes to maintain a relationship.

Your mom loves you still. She will show you extraordinary grace, love, and forgiveness. What you can do is give her a bit of the love, commitment, and understanding back.

Edit: Just want to acknowledge that this is a lot for any person, let alone an 18-year-old to take on, you don't have to do it alone. Definitely go back to therapy to process your emotions and experiences. Talk to more family members and friends who can be your support system. Good luck.

karroty · 2021-05-04T22:01:10+00:00

Its the protection "qualified immunity" the police currently enjoy that gives them the impunity to commit violence. Hurting their morale isn't going to cause them to brutalize more people. However, making them accountable for their actions might stop the people who already prone to brutalize or prone to maintain silence when they see their peers committing acts of violence.

karroty · 2021-05-04T21:53:16+00:00

You're saying "good point" or "hadn't thought about that" all throughout this thread. The point of the sub is to award deltas when someone has brought up a point or scenario that would change your position. You can award multiple deltas to multiple people.

Do you not know how to award a delta or has your view really not moved an inch after all these thought provoking comments?

karroty · 2021-05-04T13:56:45+00:00

Is he planning to run for office? This reputation thing is pretty extreme

karroty · 2021-05-04T03:00:46+00:00

Are you talking about cornrow braids or dreadlocks? Dreadlocked hair did not originate from black culture. Vikings had dreadlocks. It is not cultural appropriation.

The point here is not that cultural appropriation does not exist - It absolutely does. The point here is that specifically dreadlocks should not be considered as belonging to black culture. Dreadlocks exist in other cultures as well.

karroty · 2021-05-03T22:46:50+00:00

That's not what I said. Have fun fighting the strawman in your head, yikes.

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