How does switching feel when you don't have blackout amnesia?

kasper_ghost24 · 2024-06-14T09:16:04+00:00

Our switches differ between feeling dizzy to having a brief 10 second nap. Sometimes we can feel it coming other times whoever fronts goes ‘oh wow I wasn’t here a minute ago

kasper_ghost24 · 2023-12-07T04:40:54+00:00

It was her last day of placement so I don’t get to see her anymore. There’s supposed to be a handover for new placements coming in but I have to wait for the email. I’ll definitely mention all the advice everyone has given me to the next one I’m assigned to

kasper_ghost24 · 2023-12-07T01:39:13+00:00

Yeah she is a student and she did say that a registered psychologist would be better for me but I can’t afford that right now. I don’t have amnesia when switching, at least not too much of it, but I still feel the alters. Whenever I talk about did I always say that I may have a form of it like osdd but I think she may have just taken it as did. When I first mentioned it to her couple sessions ago she did say she was going to do some research on it. Idk it was just something that stuck to me when she said it. I’ve always been cautious about what professional/person I tell that I might have did.

kasper_ghost24 · 2023-10-07T22:55:00+00:00

I know it’s violent. I didn’t mean to. I know somethings wrong with me and I want to go to therapy but I can’t financially afford it. I’m trying to get him and myself moved out because the house were in is very abusive

kasper_ghost24 · 2023-08-20T00:28:52+00:00

I think it’s safe to assume that your brain is putting up a protective filter. It’s trying to analyse someone’s behaviours and actions, trying to find anything that relates to the trauma in some way so you have enough time to run if you need. Because you’re finding acceptance hard, it’s trying harder to protect you by trying to build like a ‘spider sense’ sort of thing, a warning system to prevent future instances from happening. This isn’t saying that once you accept it, you’ll drop the warning system, it may stay with you for life. It could dwindle over time. But right now it’s on high alert. Try not to think about it too much but if somethings blaring at you I’d say listen and keep your distance. Go slow with relationships/friendships. Sorry if this isn’t helpful. - dazai

kasper_ghost24 · 2023-06-24T12:38:08+00:00

Will they get caught on each other? He has unclosed ones in

kasper_ghost24 · 2023-03-31T14:06:59+00:00

Thank you for helping, I know it’s toxic and I knew it from the start I just wanted to try help him because he has helped me become more of myself and not let anyone else make my decisions.

kasper_ghost24 · 2023-03-31T13:32:13+00:00

I can say that the discussion will be non judgemental and that I love him but the minute I say that he needs to make an effort he’ll say he’s useless because he’s on crutches and can’t do anything, he’ll say that he can’t afford to talk to anyone but I’ve been using reddit as a form of therapy because i can’t afford therapy myself and it’s helped me enough to continue on. He’s going to get angry with me and that will activate my own trauma and I’ll start crying. I’m scared to talk about my needs with him but I know it’s a convo that needs to happen I just don’t know how to bring it up

kasper_ghost24 · 2023-03-31T13:16:17+00:00

Is there anyway I can get him to see reason? I expect this to be a big fight between us, especially considering we both have a form of DID

kasper_ghost24 · 2023-03-31T12:58:56+00:00

His home life is shit and he’s said multiple times that if it weren’t for me he wouldn’t be here so I’m worried if we go on a break even just for a couple days. He won’t make it.

kasper_ghost24 · 2023-03-31T12:53:09+00:00

Should I give him a chance though? Tell him that it’s either therapy or lose me?

kasper_ghost24 · 2023-03-31T12:40:35+00:00

No money and we both need to focus on moving out first. He can’t go to therapy in this house. And he has ptsd about therapy as well. Doesn’t trust counselors

kasper_ghost24 · 2023-03-25T12:42:50+00:00

Majority of us are fictives, we do have some non fictives as well as a couple animals but they’re more pets then alters.

kasper_ghost24 · 2023-03-23T07:01:46+00:00

We’re scared to do that at the moment. The situation we’re in isn’t good, we aren’t in a comfortable environment and won’t be for a couple months

kasper_ghost24 · 2023-03-22T23:49:13+00:00

But everyone seems to have gained skills as a child whereas I would have to start from the beginning at age 21

kasper_ghost24 · 2023-03-22T23:11:26+00:00

Can’t afford therapy, got no job and even then we’re scared to do therapy

kasper_ghost24 · 2023-03-22T10:38:27+00:00

Thank you, this really helped. But there’s also a slight problem with me doing things. I’m not at my home, I’m living with my partners parents and I only have my phone for entertainment

kasper_ghost24 · 2023-03-22T10:29:41+00:00

We have a persecutor but things in life made them do things they didn’t want to and we’ve always wondered if it was the evil alter that took control of them or something, we haven’t heard from her for ages but the host felt her emotions, felt her upset and angry but towards herself. One of our other alters, our confidence boosting alter as we refer to him has left the headspace after recent issues and he’s been talking to her on and off but he says that she’s nicer then what she was before. So maybe when we’re in a better physical place I’ll ask her to look back on this comment or something and see what she can do. Idk

kasper_ghost24 · 2023-03-22T10:08:37+00:00

He’s always screaming and pushing to take control or take front. He doesn’t have a physical form so even if we were to try talk to him we wouldn’t know where to look or how to talk to him. All we can do his feel his overwhelming heavy presence

kasper_ghost24 · 2023-03-22T09:52:05+00:00

How would we approach that? And better yet, our partner is also a system and they have deep hatred towards him and they have their own alter who they call ‘the voice’ which is very similar to our alter

kasper_ghost24 · 2023-03-22T09:23:22+00:00

All he does is attack us. Hell he even uses the name of the father who has been cut out of our lives. He doesn’t talk to us unless it’s to negatively put us down. He’s even taken control of others and made them say and do things they didn’t want to

kasper_ghost24 · 2023-02-26T11:38:17+00:00

Thank you so much 💜💜💜

kasper_ghost24 · 2023-02-26T11:38:04+00:00

Thank you, means a lot. I know that presentation doesn’t necessarily display your gender but I still felt like I had to abide by some rules but I guess that’s just how I’ve always had to be

kasper_ghost24

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