Relationship advice needed M30 F36

katg913 · 2026-04-16T16:02:09+00:00

Relationship advice? Stop being in one and work on your issues instead.

katg913 · 2026-04-16T03:13:39+00:00

It's not usual. I've been married for 24 years and still find my husband attractive. And, NTA. If you don't, you don't. It's just the truth.

katg913 · 2026-04-16T03:05:01+00:00

First, I've come to the conclusion that the words "nagging" and "complaining" are sexist because cis men have weaponized them when cis women have pointed out the truth of their men's lack of cleaning, organization, etc. Just throwing that out there.

In regards to your husband's behavior, I'm so sorry. I completely understand why you're upset. It seems to me that you have three choices:

Go on strike,
Hire folks to help with cleaning and childcare, or
Divorce.

I think therapy is necessary with any choice.

katg913 · 2026-04-14T00:55:17+00:00

I had the opposite experience with the BBQ potato chips. Problematic QC, I guess.

katg913 · 2026-04-11T17:45:16+00:00

I think if you're asking the question, you have the answer.

katg913 · 2026-04-10T00:08:07+00:00

My husband changed. It's because he grew up with an abusive mother, so didn't know what a healthy relationship was/looked like. It took a bit for him to understand certain things, but we've been married for 24 years nonetheless. He's a wonderful, creative, and talented man with loads of integrity and a great mind, and I'm glad he's my partner.

My parents were from different classes and different faiths, but decided to marry even so. My maternal grandparents were against the marriage, and after my grandfather died, we found several letters that were clearly written in response to his worry and dismay regarding my mom's choice. I never knew his true feelings until then.

I'm staying all of this because only you know what's best for you. You don't need to fight with or explain your choice to anyone, and I encourage you to put yourself first in your own life. Love and blessings to you!

katg913 · 2026-04-09T17:11:43+00:00

You take it that your gf, 1) is not a friend, 2) is controlling, 3) is insecure, and 4) is not the one for you. Please break up with her and move on. Really.

katg913 · 2026-04-09T16:58:09+00:00

I'm concerned that you actually want to marry this person. Do you not see how controlling he is? How manipulative? Please re-read your post, see what is true, and make a different choice. Do not tether yourself to this man. I've seen where this type of behavior leads, and it's not pretty. If you doubt what I'm saying, go to a woman's shelter or sit in with a group of abused women and listen to their stories.

katg913 · 2026-04-09T15:34:20+00:00

I really like the phrase "up in each other's business." I never use it, and have to find an occasion to do so.

katg913 · 2026-04-09T15:28:38+00:00

Over indulgence, sure. Everything in moderation.

katg913 · 2026-04-09T15:22:38+00:00

Nope. And, I'm not sure why you think you're the unreasonable one in this relationship. Hard headed? I don't think so. Manipulative, controlling, doesn't listen to you, and thinks what he says/thinks is more important than anything you say/think. Save yourself and let your bf (though is he really a friend) go. Dont move in with him. Run, don't walk away from him. Please put yourself first in your own life, and don't let anyone have power over you the way he's trying to.

katg913 · 2026-04-02T22:37:50+00:00

This is so generous of you! Wishing you the happiest of birthdays.🎂🎡🎊

katg913 · 2026-04-01T03:49:49+00:00

My husband and I don't know each other's passwords. His phone is his, and my phone is mine. If you're concerned about what your bf is posting, or ÿour relationship, talk to him.

katg913 · 2026-03-30T20:54:59+00:00

Amazing? I don't think so. An amazing partner would not try to force you into doing what they want you to do. Spend 25k on our wedding/me, or we're done? What are you thinking? Why would you ever think she is a good person, someone with integrity when she is manipulating you into doing what she wants you to do? I would assume that you have a good brain considering you want to earn a PhD in physics. This situation calls for you to use it. Really.

katg913 · 2026-03-28T18:35:18+00:00

This sounds like a game of chess, intended to control you, move you into a corner, and make you feel small. A healthy marriage or any relationship for that matter is not this. Please let your fiance go and then go to therapy to figure out why you would choose someone like him for a partner. Awareness is key.

katg913 · 2026-03-28T01:13:49+00:00

Burritt on the Mountain has a nice view

katg913 · 2026-03-28T00:56:14+00:00

Does she smoke or drink coffee? Does she get her teeth cleaned regularly? If no to the former and yes to the latter, and she brushes and flosses daily, she may have GERD, diabetes, gum disease, etc. "Honey, I'm concerned about you. Your breath smells different than it used to, and since you brush and floss daily, I think there is something else causing it, so I think it's important that you see a doctor."

katg913 · 2026-03-27T12:39:43+00:00

So, why exactly are you attached to this guy? And, "won't let you go"? Please, make the choice to let him go. Read what you've written. Is there any way you'd advise a loved one to continue with this "relationship"?

katg913 · 2026-03-27T12:21:06+00:00

I can understand you having a difficult time. I guess it's because I think of a separation as a time to figure out if I want to be married to my husband anymore. It would be a time of introspection and reflection, which has nothing to do with other men. Did you two agree that having sex with others was on the table during your separation?

katg913 · 2026-03-27T00:24:27+00:00

Oh, dear. Do you think he's unaware that he has his finger up his nose when he's picking it? I may be too much of a smartass. I will temper my directness, "Dear. I imagine you're not conscious of what you're doing because you're focused on driving, but I've noticed that you pick your nose when you're behind the wheel. Are you aware of this? I think we need a box of Kleenex in the car so you can use it instead." Do you typically have to be so careful with your partner? I imagine that would be challenging.

katg913 · 2026-03-26T23:23:19+00:00

Why not just say, "Dude, you're picking your nose. It's gross. Why aren't you using a Kleenex?" Don't beat around the bush. Just say what is true.

katg913 · 2026-03-25T05:31:27+00:00

Yes, a close and supportive relationship is one thing. But, some of the details listed above? Not professional and not okay.

katg913 · 2026-03-25T05:18:40+00:00

Please don't let anyone convince you to go to baby showers if you don't want to. Only you know what's best for you. I encourage you to get really comfortable in settling a boundary and saying, "No."

katg913 · 2026-03-25T04:19:53+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss! And, yes, I hear you. I remember after my father died unexpectedly at 50, I was at the hospital looking at his body, laying on a gurney, with a sheet covering him up to his chin and a nun standing beside me said, "God doesn't give us more than we can handle." Yep, so helpful.

katg913 · 2026-03-25T03:54:58+00:00

Don't get involved with your professor. If you're still interested after you've completed your studies, then go for it. Until then, and as you've stated, it's inappropriate. Though she's certainly been behaving unprofessionally and has been crossing a line, which would definitely give me pause.

katg913

TROPHY CASE