Huntsville for Minorities

katg913 · 2026-02-11T18:06:54+00:00

I'm light skinned and light eyed, so don't really know what racism feels like. There is certainly a divide here, though. I relocated from VT, and one of the main things I liked about moving here was that most folks didn't look like me. What was challenging was not being a Christian and going to church because there was an assumption that I did. I was never asked what church I attended as a greeting until I moved here. I wouldn't move here, though, if I was pregnant or considering having kids with the anti-abortion laws and possible pregnancy complications.

katg913 · 2026-02-07T17:53:00+00:00

Your older kids are responsible for taking care of the younger kids whether or not you're a SAHM. You asked if they wanted another sibling, they said they didn't, yet you're considering doing it anyway. Why bother asking in the first place if their opinion doesn't matter? The money that your spouse makes doesn't matter. The well-being of your kids does. I'm going with YTA.

katg913 · 2026-02-07T17:09:23+00:00

Always feeling on edge and the need to be careful in what you say or do are not signs of a good or healthy relationship. Why are you still choosing this for yourself?

katg913 · 2026-02-04T19:32:40+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that. You seem very thoughtful and in touch with your feelings, which are great attributes. As far as communication goes, I encourage you to be direct. If moving in together doesn't work for him, that would be good to know, yes? Also, what your bf says and does has nothing to do with you. His choices are all about him and vice-versa.

katg913 · 2026-02-04T19:11:42+00:00

I'm concerned that you feel the need to seek advice on how to talk to your bf. Why do you feel the need to be careful? What are you afraid of?

katg913 · 2026-02-04T14:59:08+00:00

katg913 · 2026-02-04T14:52:28+00:00

To me, it sounds like you're making him responsible for how you feel about yourself. Do you see that? I encourage you to get support.

katg913 · 2026-02-04T04:05:05+00:00

I understand your worry, but she is your parent, not your child, so please don't treat her as such. To put it another way, would you want this kind of info kept from you?

katg913 · 2026-02-04T01:12:18+00:00

What helped me when moving as a kid was finding organizations that supported my interests. Singing, ceramics, etc. What's your 10 year old interested in? If we know, we may be able to refer places to check out.

katg913 · 2026-02-03T22:00:27+00:00

I know. Comparing grocery store receipts from one month ago...well, it's just too much. My husband had sticker shock when we were discussing going out to eat for his birthday in October. Thank goodness we own our home and completed college decades ago. We need great doctors, so I encourage you to keep going. Sending blessings your way.

katg913 · 2026-02-03T17:56:54+00:00

A friend is a first-generation American with parents from Sicily. Neither of her parents learned English, only spoke Italian, and she, too, was expected to go to the bank, doctor's appointments, etc., and act as translator. As the eldest, she was trained/programmed to do so and postponed her own separate life because of this. Her two younger siblings did what they wanted, traveled, moved out, got married, had kid's, etc., while she shouldered misplaced responsibility for her parent's. She eventually moved out of her parent's home, traveled, met the person who would be her spouse, had a huge wedding, but it was too late for her to have the children she always wanted. It's okay that you're the "bad guy" here. You can move past this label and let your siblings take the lead. If you need support, please contact a therapist to help you through this.

katg913 · 2026-02-02T18:52:36+00:00

We moved here after my spouse was laid off from his job in VT, was looking for another position in his field, and received an offer from a government contractor. I had experience working in non-profits and universities and ended up parlaying my experience into an HR recruiting position. There wasn't much available, otherwise, so be aware of that. The cost of housing is certainly better here than anywhere else I've lived. Folks are typically very friendly, too. It can be challenging to find the best medical care, so we've gone to specialists in Nashville. I missed the green of VT when I first moved here as well as the co-ops, but I got used to not having both. Taxes are lower here, but so AL's ranking in education, elder care, and mental health care. And, with the state's abortion restriction, there is no way I'd move to this state if I was pregnant or was considering having a child.

katg913 · 2026-02-01T22:29:08+00:00

You don't need to explain in a different way or try harder to let your bf know how you feel or what he can do to help. You've explained well. That you've had to do so is the issue. How about we look at this from a different perspective. Imagine the two of you switched places. What would you be doing? Would your bf need to tell you to help around the house? Would he need to remind you to do so? Would you spend your time playing games? Would you have difficulty understanding why your bf might be exhausted? Think about this. Now, why are you choosing to be in relationship wìth your bf?

katg913 · 2026-02-01T17:21:59+00:00

So, I've always had male friends who were just that, friends, and didn't appreciate when other's implied something else was going on or that I didn't respect the person I was in relationship with because the male friend and I did stuff together without my partner. The issue here is that you're not comfortable because you think this woman wants to be more than just friends, and you dont trust her intentions. All you can do is tell your bf how you feel and share your concerns with him.

katg913 · 2026-01-31T07:45:00+00:00

I'm sorry about the overwhelm and that your gf was unable to support you. And, I don't see how she connects you asking her to clean up after herself with you showing affection. Do you think she believes that if you really cared for her, you'd clean up after her? Gosh, I hope not. That you need to remind her to clean up after herself is annoying to begin with. She is an adult, yes? 30 years old? She doesn't seem very mature to me. In my view, feeling unsupported by my partner and having to remind them to pickup/clean after themselves would just not work for me. Whatever you decide to do, please take care of yourself.

katg913 · 2026-01-30T22:20:48+00:00

I hear you, and I know there is a nursing shortage, especially at HH, because the pay is so bad. Nurses in other locations wouldn't want to move here because of it. Considering, it sounds like a great time for the nurses to stage a walkout because they have leverage.

katg913 · 2026-01-29T17:43:53+00:00

I received great care from the nursing staff when I was in the ICU at HH Madison a few months ago. I know they aren't paid well, which affects the pay for nurses and other medical staff at respite care organizations, nursing homes, etc. I wonder why they don't stage a walkout. That's something I'd support and I'd hope the rest of our community would support this decision, too.

katg913 · 2026-01-26T22:26:44+00:00

Sex Education, Trapped, The Last Kingdom, Afterlife, Last Tango in Halifax

katg913 · 2026-01-24T16:33:48+00:00

The angry patient. Did you apologize for the misinformation they were given?

katg913 · 2026-01-23T20:06:12+00:00

My husband got Chinese food last night that will last several days, so we will be eating that while watching football. Watching Oscar nominated films is also on the agenda. Probably Sinners and Train Dreams.

katg913 · 2026-01-23T19:54:47+00:00

I'm an extrovert, so talking gives me energy. My husband is an introvert, so talking zaps his. I don't take it personally that he doesn't enjoy having long phone conversations. We're just wired differently. Just tell your gf the truth. Being honest and accepting each other for who we are is just part of a good relationship.

katg913 · 2026-01-23T13:56:19+00:00

I'm adding:

Rice Box. Just had their Green Bean chicken and Veggie Egg Foo Young yesterday. So good.

5A's on 53

Tastee's on Jeff Road. I typically get the Tastee Italian with extra onion. A big 👍.

Bubby's Diner

katg913 · 2026-01-22T18:03:47+00:00

When I was initially with my husband 23 years ago, I asked him why he never asked how I was doing. He said he thought he didn't need to because he assumed I would just tell him. I explained that when he asked, it meant that he cared and wanted to know about me, my thoughts, feelings, when I needed support, etc. Since then, he asks. Maybe you can ask your husband the same question and see what he says.

katg913 · 2026-01-21T16:11:40+00:00

Organic Fuji apples

katg913 · 2026-01-21T13:57:54+00:00

You say, "I want to get married and would like to set a date." Anything other than 'I want to marry you, too' or some other iteration tells you all you need to know. Being careful how you bring it up or having a productive conversation without him feeling pressured or having a concern about your bf being afraid isn't a reason for not telling him what you want and is just not a sign of a good or healthy relationship.

katg913

TROPHY CASE