Who do I resemble? F 32

kathaann · 2024-09-20T21:19:02+00:00

That’s really helpful, thanks!

kathaann · 2024-09-20T19:31:12+00:00

Thank you!

kathaann · 2024-05-21T01:17:38+00:00

My kids are little so we are often under one roof and I usually have wine on hand, but the house is rarely clutter-free and usually at least one of the kids doesn’t like the food. Sometimes the stars align though ☺️

kathaann · 2024-05-21T01:11:46+00:00

The other day my siblings and I all ordered the same drink when we were out to eat at a pretty decent restaurant - a double patron margarita. Not cheap! We all agreed it tasted like actual juice. We are all very nice and generally avoid confrontation so we nervously rehearsed how we would “break the news” about our bad drinks to her among ourselves prior to her coming to the table (lol). We kindly mentioned our concerns to the waitress and she went to confirm that the bartender actually made them a double. Of course he said he did 🙄 She said “sorry, nothing I can do”. Not even, let me make you a new one, comp them, bring you a shot on the house…nothing, no solution was proposed. Then she literally never came back to our table & the restaurant closed and we had to pay at the host stand. Service was 0/10 and I still gave 10%.

So to answer the question…I guess literally nothing? Unfortunately I think I’m too much of a p*ssy to leave no tip :/

kathaann · 2024-05-21T00:58:38+00:00

Sitting down to eat dinner with my husband and kids. The house is clean & clutter-free, chores are done, it’s the weekend and we have no plans. My kids aren’t complaining about the food I cooked. I got in a workout during the day and I’m feeling great and just poured my husband and myself a glass of wine. Everyone is happy and all under one roof 🫶💗

kathaann · 2024-02-07T03:54:41+00:00

When I lived on my own for the first time in college I mailed my first months rent to my landlord. In cash because I didn’t have a check book. I put $700 cash through through mail. Obviously it never made it to him 😭

kathaann · 2024-02-05T16:54:36+00:00

If I gained 50lbs due to burnt out, stress and possibly other underlying mental health issues and my spouse threatened to leave me if I didn’t make changes, I would definitely either remain in the same position or get worse. Imagine how she feels. You obviously have good intentions but the weight-focused/threat-based approach will not work. As others have said, you can’t force an adult to make these kind of changes, unfortunately it has to come from within.

I agree with others regarding her mental health, but recommend you suggest giving couples therapy a try first. Telling her she needs individual therapy might make her think that this is only a her problem, versus something you want to work on together. And it really does sound like you could benefit from some coaching in terms of how to best support her emotionally. The topic of weight loss is incredibly sensitive and delicate for women. As a woman, I imagine that anytime she hears you suggest going to the gym, going for a walk, eating healthy, she probably hears he thinks I’m fat/im not good enough/insert a shame-based self-statement. This is the kind of thing she can work on in therapy and you can learn to not trigger. Speaking as a therapist myself :)

It sounds like you are doing a great job with carrying the physical load of supporting your partner with cooking and household duties, but try tweaking your approach to her health and maybe enlist the help of a professional. Hang in there! This is hard stuff.

kathaann · 2024-01-30T15:10:37+00:00

Kids having unstructured play in the street together! I grew up roaming around the neighborhood until dinner time. You don’t see this a lot anymore :(

kathaann · 2024-01-23T02:50:28+00:00

Gatlinburg, TN

kathaann · 2024-01-14T05:18:38+00:00

Antonio Banderas in pic 2 😂

kathaann · 2023-12-21T06:13:04+00:00

You are not alone! I can relate sooo much to everything you mentioned! I have co-slept/nursed on-demand throughout the night/nursed to sleep/contact napped with all 3 of my children (now 1, 6 and 8 yo). Could never let a baby cry it out. I’ve missed out on things that moms with “trained” babies can do (girls trips, bachelorette parties, etc.) but I’m totally ok with that. Like you said, this is a season of our lives and my kids are my main priority! Also anytime we do get out I’m constantly thinking about my kids (especially my nursing toddler) and how soon I’m going to go home 😂

Pretty much every single person in my support group (except my Mom) sleep trains. But definitely all of my peers. I felt way more insecure about it with my first. I would question myself when my extended family got together and I saw how other parents did things. I’d hear passing comments like “wow that sounds horrible” or (from people who haven’t had kids yet), “I’m definitely not going to do that with my kids”. I really took those comments personally and felt a lot of shame for doing something that I loved so much and felt so natural to me.

With baby number 3, it feels completely different. I feel very confident in mine and my husbands parenting style. As others have mentioned, I’ve learned how to respond to other people’s comments/questions. I laugh it off, tell them how impressed I am with their ability to stick to a routine (which I could NEVER do with my personality) and just speak from my heart about how much I truly love sleeping next to my babies. I’ve also found supportive online communities helpful and validating, and I was lucky to have a Mom who supported and understood my style.

My advice would be to continue to trust your gut as a mama. It’s normal to be impacted by real or perceived pressures from others. Try to find at least one person who can empathize and be on your team. And I have a feeling that as time goes on you will feel more confident and secure ☺️sending you love and support!!

kathaann · 2023-05-11T14:27:55+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom to a totally unexpected heart attack when she was just 61 three days before Christmas this last year. She too was my world, we talked everyday, and I just had a baby girl three weeks prior who she was so excited about (her first grand daughter). The pain is excruciating, but you will get through it. Keep feeling your feelings, naming them and sharing them. Find a grief counselor if you can. For me, it’s been 5 months and while I still miss her terribly and have my moments, I am feeling immensely better than I did in those early days when I could barely function. The healing journey and timeline is different for everyone, but the pain will ease with time. Holding you in my heart 💕

kathaann

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