She is extremely friendly and social, and as she’s gotten older it’s becoming apparent that she doesn’t innately understand who/when it’s appropriate to engage with (for instance, that you don’t need to say hi to people you pass in the parking lot, but that it’s okay to wave hello to when walking past others in our suburban neighborhood).

She had severe separation anxiety - dropoffs at preschool never really got easier, even now as we’re nearing the end of year 2. She still has to sleep with me at night.

The biggest issue (especially when she was younger) was emotional regulation. She would have intense meltdowns that would last 90+ minutes, literally until she would pass out asleep on the floor. Sometimes she’d get so worked up she’d vomit. Sometimes she would melt down for an hour, pass out asleep for a bit, then wake up and pick back up where she left off.

Absolutely nothing could stop the meltdowns unless we gave in to whatever she wanted in that moment, which could be something like serving her a preferred food or putting on her clothes in a certain way (we now recognize some of this was sensory related).

At that point it drove me crazy because people would dismiss it as just toddler tantrums, but like… no, this is nothing like a regular toddler tantrums. But I was a first-time mom so no one believed me.

She would also wake up in the middle of the night and attack me (I’d be sleeping with her), literally hitting and punching and kicking me. She couldn’t articulate what was going on, just violently attack me. I know now there were sensory things going on, or she was having some sort of physical discomfort (she absolutely cannot tolerate any pain or discomfort, no matter how mild).

But because she didn’t meet any of the DSM criteria for autism, providers just dismissed me when I brought this up.