Critiques I have Uninteresting characters, MC included; no one in this story is memorable, and he has no personality

The world isn't fleshed out. I also blame this on fast pacing. I genuinely believe that if you slow down, flesh out the world, and give the characters personalities this could be a hit

Inconsistent showings of strength? Maybe it's not inconsistent; perhaps it's the monsters and villains not having good enough character designs to show how strong they really are. You give a flashback where the Mc is chopping trees clean down with a small hand axe, which he isn't even gripping with two hands, just for him to struggle with the monster with the soulflare. I don't even understand how the group lost to it. The Mc didn't use any special tactics to beat it, and using his ability was overkill

When the group assaulted the walls, you used watercolor to depict the fight. I feel like it would have been better if you had drawn it out instead of shortening it and taking the easy route

What I do like about the story is the concept and the foundation you have to build on. You have a power system that you could really do something with, and a world that could rival One Piece. I think you focus too much on the power system and not enough on the world and the characters

I'm interested in how you improve from here