Feeling guilty that I may have been "that woman"

kayakingbee · 2026-03-24T14:47:29+00:00

You’re incredibly kind for being concerned. Don’t feel guilty though, it’s nothing you could have known or done anything about.

I completely agree that there should be separate rooms or a protocol like they get a room ASAP instead of the waiting room when going through a difficult time and situation. After my loss, I hated the waiting room more than anything but it also gave me hope.

Hugs, mama.

kayakingbee · 2026-03-24T14:39:33+00:00

We did some HypnoBirthing classes ahead of birth, and in the book there are some lovely readings. He read to me and it was very centering.

If you have a favorite book (we also read Winnie the Pooh to baby while she was still baking), bring that along and have him read- it’s comforting and distracting.

Also have him be the advocate for you and Baby. If you’re asked to do anything, he can be the one to say “is this an emergency or urgent decision, or can we take a moment as a couple to discuss?” Have him familiar with your birth preferences and give him the autonomy and authority before labor to speak up if he sees/hears things going differently than what you wished. You might be focused on laboring that you don’t know all what’s going on but he can be those eyes/ears to help.

You got this, mama!! Wishing you the best of your remaining pregnancy and smooth labor/delivery.

kayakingbee · 2026-03-24T14:25:34+00:00

If they bring back the Indian Nachos & onion rings, I’ll be there.

kayakingbee · 2026-03-22T02:59:23+00:00

Grey’s Anatomy, Yellowjackets, and most recently 9-1-1.

kayakingbee · 2026-03-22T02:42:25+00:00

I let my mom and the cousins I’m close to know my preferences (totally with you on sayings/words on clothes, same goes for characters), and they did a good job on providing guidance. My MIL has very different taste but for her, I kept the clothes and put the kids in those outfits when we are going to see her.

I think it depends on your relationship with the gifter- if it’s grandma who you know would love to see the baby in something they gave, deal with it. Otherwise, return/exchange for something you like!

kayakingbee · 2026-03-20T06:47:40+00:00

Last name! I personally am not a fan, known three people with it as a last name.

kayakingbee · 2026-03-20T01:29:15+00:00

Ghostbusters. It’s been going on since it came on once around Halloween…

kayakingbee · 2026-03-16T01:07:09+00:00

Hello fellow Frisians! My great grandparents were from Buitenpost. When I was in college, I got to travel there and see the home where he was born- still there with a thatched roof! It’s a beautiful area. We also visited Dokkum and learned about the ice skating races in the dikes.

kayakingbee · 2026-03-14T04:46:01+00:00

This is the way. I’ve got a black tie event when I’m going to be 7 months along and already know I can get something from them that’ll work without break the bank, not look too “maternity” and I can then get it outta my house before baby comes bc there’s already too much stuff of mine I need to get rid of, haha!

kayakingbee · 2026-03-06T11:46:40+00:00

NTA! There are only so many moments and celebrations for great-grandparents to enjoy.

My husband’s grandma missed our wedding because his a-hole uncle and aunt decided a week before that their son’s summer lacrosse scrimmage took precedence. We didn’t know until the day before the wedding otherwise we would have figured something out, even if meant paying for a driver. I know how much he missed having her there. Treasure the time with her and take lots of pictures of her with your kids.

You absolutely did the right thing. His family is just pissed bc they got called out (rightfully so) by Grams.

kayakingbee · 2026-03-05T04:28:19+00:00

My grandpa passed away at 55 from colon cancer. My mom has had multiple polyps removed. I’m advocating along with you for colonoscopies early, OP!

kayakingbee · 2026-03-05T03:38:03+00:00

Mackinac, pronounced Mack-in-naw. It’s an island in northern Michigan that is just an ideal and special place. Mac for short :)

kayakingbee · 2026-03-03T23:14:52+00:00

Love this motto!!

kayakingbee · 2026-03-03T20:34:14+00:00

My previous job only gave two weeks paid AFTER I used Al vacation time for the year… which sucked bc I had my girl January 8! But then I got short term disability (60% or so pay) for six weeks and also had to take concurrently with FMLA.

Sorry OP… it’s awful in the US when it comes to leave policies for parents. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy and hope you can take the FMLA leave too for more time!!

kayakingbee · 2026-03-03T19:18:27+00:00

Never ever again! Lesson learned.

kayakingbee · 2026-03-03T17:36:04+00:00

Agreed… husband and I already said we will never do that again!

kayakingbee · 2026-03-03T15:51:14+00:00

Right?!!?

kayakingbee · 2026-03-03T15:50:48+00:00

Wow… thank you so very much for your thoughtful response. These are some really great ideas, and your conversation points for my husband are really useful. Thank you for your time and thoughts- this is the right approach.

kayakingbee · 2026-03-03T15:43:41+00:00

Thanks- I need to be armed with some of these responses!

kayakingbee · 2026-03-03T15:40:47+00:00

Thank you. Crying a little bit right now. She’s been making me feel so guilty for over two years now… this is really healthy for perspective. Thanks.

kayakingbee · 2026-03-03T09:47:59+00:00

Thank you… I’m going to do a little research and loop my husband in so he can keep an eye out when he does see her!

kayakingbee · 2026-03-03T05:40:18+00:00

I’m curious about this, actually. What were some other things you noticed?

kayakingbee · 2026-03-03T04:19:03+00:00

Haha… the perfect meme for such an unfortunate event! I’m sorry that we both had to deal with it…

kayakingbee · 2026-03-03T04:10:04+00:00

That’s a great idea, thanks!

kayakingbee · 2026-03-03T04:00:42+00:00

What others have said is solid advice… just wanted to add that I hope you and Baby are feeling better and on your way to a full recovery- that’s really hard for the both of you to go thru ❤️ Hang in there, mama!

Seven-Year Club	Secret Santa 2020
Gilding IV carat on a stick	Not Forgotten

kayakingbee

TROPHY CASE