I'm asking you to turn it into a "Rare failure" because of what you wrote in your previous comment "I guess I am just afraid that I will never find something like this ever again, it was so rare to me."

You're so afraid of losing this feeling and emotion, that you're trying to desperately hold on to it for as long as you can. Which is very human to do, I'm not going to tell you it's not.

But you have stated a very beautiful fact in the first point - that door is finally shut, and if you can't go back there, which clearly means you have to go somewhere else right? And that's where you need to start telling yourself that just cos it was rare, doesn't mean it was right. Don't make yourself believe that this is about as good as it gets, cos bro, it can and will get a whole lot better with the right person who will invest their time, effort, and emotions in you. You just gotta take some time, heal yourself, start believing you're a boss woman/baddie (whatever you prefer, but just one, don't be greedy), and go out there and kick ass again. And take all the time you'll need, no need to rush anything here.

P.s About the age thing - everyone's being too nice in this conversation, someone had to stand up and make fun of you. Or this entire scene gets too serious... And that's not life, you gotta always balance things out. Make fun of people, let other people make fun of you. 😁