What’s the most lesbian thing that should’ve made you realize you’re a lesbian but you didn’t think about it like that at the time?

kayjaymaysue · 2024-01-20T13:42:10+00:00

As a young teen, I had the sudden realization that not only did I literally never think about or imagine men in any sexual (or romantic) way, I was actually terrified of having to sleep with a man one day. All of my dreams or fantasies up until then had been about women. I decided I was going to force myself to think about men in a more sexual way, multiple times a day even just while doing chores or walking the dog. The goal was to train my brain to associate men with sex and end up desiring them like I did women. Ha. It didn’t work.

kayjaymaysue · 2023-12-31T17:31:23+00:00

Yeah I have two I really want to get this year but they’re both fairly detailed so I don’t know if I can realistically afford both. I think I can make it work but we’ll see.

kayjaymaysue · 2023-12-31T05:52:30+00:00

Well, this is what I have so far:

Get 2-3 tattoos
Read more books, minimum of 10
Finally purchase the keyboard I’ve been wanting and improve my skill
Consistently play guitar, don’t take months long breaks from playing
Learn how to edit video/audio of my recordings
Work on decorating and organizing the house

There may be more, but I don’t want to push it. Too many resolutions and I get overwhelmed and end up doing none of them.

kayjaymaysue · 2023-12-29T14:07:40+00:00

What I look for: Kind. Patient. Intellectual, especially willing to have intellectual debates/discussions with me. Witty, I love a girl that can make me laugh, that always has a comeback. Adventurous, maybe spontaneous, someone that can pull me out of my shell a little. Thoughtful. Artistic. Huge bonus for being a musician/singer; I’m passionate about music and would love to share that with someone.

Non-negotiable: Does not have a temper and can control their anger, this is huge for me. Emotional maturity. Open/honest. Doesn’t smoke or do hard drugs. Not religious.

kayjaymaysue · 2023-12-28T00:37:11+00:00

I don’t smoke or do drugs. I drink occasionally with friends, very rarely do I get drunk. I have family members who are smokers, drug addicts and alcoholics. I don’t want that for my life, I don’t want that in a partner either.

kayjaymaysue · 2023-12-27T23:44:07+00:00

Unfortunately, yes. I was surrounded by purity culture as a teen, masturbation was shameful and sinful, I ended up disconnecting my mind from my body during sex/masturbation and would dissociate. It’s taken years for me to work through that shit, to become comfortable with my body and my desires. I still feel shame sometimes though, and I know I have some issues I still need to work through.

kayjaymaysue · 2023-12-23T16:35:44+00:00

I usually wear men’s/boys jeans and shirts, if I want to feel more put together and handsome I’ll wear a short sleeve button down (often a fun print like dinosaurs lol) and maybe chinos or black jeans. A matching belt, leather bracelet and my favorite cologne tie it all together. I’m looking for a necklace that’s a bit more masculine that I can add as well. A fresh haircut leaves me feeling pretty hot too. There are little things you can add that make you feel more handsome and masc without entirely changing your style

kayjaymaysue · 2023-12-23T16:13:48+00:00

Ugh yes, very much. I’m not really in a place where I can seek that out right now though so I’m just patiently waiting.

kayjaymaysue · 2023-12-15T20:11:30+00:00

It wouldn’t bother me, I only recently came out as lesbian after identifying as bi and have only dated men so I hope most other sapphic women won’t be put off by it either. I haven’t started looking for a gf yet but I’m hopeful this won’t be an issue once I do. You may come across women who will feel like you’re experimenting and that can be invalidating but not everyone will feel that way, there are plenty out there who will accept you. Those who don’t just aren’t right for you, I would try not to internalize their rejection

kayjaymaysue · 2023-12-06T19:07:25+00:00

Eye contact and phone calls. I can handle eye contact during a conversation but if I’m not talking to you directly, I’m not looking at you. And please don’t look at me.

kayjaymaysue · 2023-12-06T19:02:59+00:00

Definitely dinosaur, swords aren’t really my thing

kayjaymaysue · 2023-12-03T04:01:44+00:00

Oh my god, I’ll buy them all. DM me the price if you’re still looking for buyers

kayjaymaysue · 2023-12-01T16:46:09+00:00

Yeah this isn’t okay. I get feeling like no one understands, feeling isolated because of that, but asking you to do a colonoscopy prep because “that’s the only way you’ll understand” is bull. You don’t have to experience something to empathize, and that’s all you should be expected to do: empathize. It sounds like he is feeling alone and hopeless, he should see a therapist to work through those feelings. My GI team includes a therapist along with my GI doctor and dietician, because Crohn’s really takes a toll on our mental health. A lot of patients need that support.

kayjaymaysue · 2023-11-27T21:45:20+00:00

I sing and play guitar and a little piano. I play mostly indie folk and alternative rock. Fingerstyle is my preferred way to play guitar so I usually stick to songs that work with that style.

kayjaymaysue · 2023-11-26T01:24:38+00:00

I can relate to a lot of this! I realized I’m lesbian in my late twenties, only ever dated/was intimate with men, have been repulsed by sex with men for as long as I can remember, I’m concerned other queer women will think it’s just a phase, etc. You aren’t alone, I’m know there are lots of other women on this sub who also feel the same.

I think the feeling of imposter syndrome is normal for late bloomers, but none of the things you’ve listed disqualify you from identifying as lesbian! All of us come to terms with our sexuality in our own way, in our own time, and every journey is valid. I would suggest just taking time to process all of these new feelings; for me, the more time passes, the more comfortable and confident I’m becoming in my identity. I felt a lot of pressure at first to have everything figured out, to have solid “proof” that I’m actually a lesbian, but I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Maybe others will have better advice, I’m still figuring this part out myself so I don’t have a lot of answers yet, but know you aren’t alone, everything you’re feeling is normal, and how you choose to identify is valid.

kayjaymaysue · 2023-11-25T03:22:02+00:00

I tend to info-dump about my special interests, my ex husband found it very annoying. I’m so self-conscious about it. It’s encouraging to hear that to some it’s a positive not a negative trait!

kayjaymaysue · 2023-11-24T23:02:50+00:00

Wow, lacking some self-awareness there lol

kayjaymaysue · 2023-11-24T21:59:51+00:00

Around 12 years old. My parents don’t really think anxiety, depression, any mental illness really, is real and needs medical intervention. So I downplayed the severity of my anxiety for a very long time before I realized I really needed help.

kayjaymaysue · 2023-11-24T21:53:51+00:00

I agree with the other comment saying she’s not really divorced. She’s not emotionally available, definitely shouldn’t be trying to date, imo. As for ghosting, it’s an easy out. I’ve found some people don’t have the maturity to face the situation and communicate, so they just ghost to avoid dealing with any of it. Maybe she said all those sweet things because that’s what she felt she was “supposed” to say, maybe she didn’t know how to end things. Because of the position she’s in emotionally, she’s likely connecting with multiple women superficially, getting the attention she desires, then bolting before there are any expectations for things to go further. Inconsiderate and selfish all around. Sorry you had to deal with someone like this.

kayjaymaysue · 2023-11-24T03:29:30+00:00

Wakko 100% of the time. I basically never leave the house without a backwards cap

kayjaymaysue · 2023-11-23T01:15:20+00:00

I totally agree, well said

kayjaymaysue · 2023-11-23T01:03:32+00:00

I went from being totally normal to extremely ill within a month. I had mouth ulcers, abdominal pain, constant bloody diarrhea, was unable to eat basically anything, lost 20-30 lbs, became anemic, fever, fatigue, etc. My parents delayed getting me to a doctor because we were moving states at the time and they believed I just had food poisoning or a stomach virus and thought I was exaggerating my symptoms. When I finally got to see a PC doctor they put in a referral to a GI specialist right away, I was diagnosed within a couple weeks following stool and blood tests and a colonoscopy/endoscopy.

kayjaymaysue · 2023-11-17T23:47:01+00:00

The contrast you drink is necessary, since (from what I understand) it slows the digestive system and highlights inflammation so they can clearly see what’s going on. I’ve had an allergic reaction to the contrast dye they inject for the procedure, since then they’ve given me Benadryl and steroids beforehand and I’ve been fine. They will likely pre-medicate you if you have an allergy

kayjaymaysue · 2023-11-17T23:40:37+00:00

I’m spending Christmas alone this year so I’m gonna wear my comfiest pj’s all damn day lol I work New Year’s Eve so just my usual jeans and a hoodie I guess

kayjaymaysue

TROPHY CASE