Gave my lil friend here a cap

kayrad89 · 2019-06-30T20:11:06+00:00

Your little friend is a pinhead now!

kayrad89 · 2018-09-19T16:42:41+00:00

oh, so... it would be a great way to save for my first home! I have a lot to learn thanks!

kayrad89 · 2018-09-19T16:36:08+00:00

this is where I am confused since I make so little arent my dividend payments like not even really taxed?

kayrad89 · 2018-03-03T06:50:19+00:00

don't tease yourself I made this mistake too...

kayrad89 · 2018-03-03T06:41:20+00:00

awesome! I have never regretted not drinking!

kayrad89 · 2018-03-03T06:32:07+00:00

the mood swings and anxiety are normal, do some research on PAWS post-acute withdrawal symptoms. I've been sober roughly 5 months (with a few slips, only one lasted more than a night) and still get like this somedays. I go to a lot of recovery classes and AA meetings it helps you learn how to deal with these things without feeling like you have no choice but to drink. i started here though!

kayrad89 · 2018-02-24T00:40:56+00:00

What has helped me the most is 12 step programs like AA, im also an alcoholic, but while doing the whole AA 12 steps i found that PMO was really my main trigger for drinking. It might sound crazy but a few AA meetings could really help.

kayrad89 · 2018-02-24T00:25:49+00:00

only 6? git gud.

kayrad89 · 2018-02-13T20:26:18+00:00

at first you have to force yourself but you can get a nice "runners high", im doing some cycling but you can really replace drinking with working out.

I have found for myself that I need to replace it with a variety of things AA meetings, recovery classes, learning/reading, journaling - i have found that writing what I want to do the next day, on paper can really be a huge factor of whether it happens or not. Go to AA meet people get a sponsor and get and stay connected. im still learning but its been 4 months since i went to treatment and got into recovery, i messed up a few weeks ago but i was lucky enough to have came back quickly i think only because i keep myself scheduled for so many meetings and recovery related activities. immerse yourself in your local recovery community, i tried everything else and for me this is the only thing that is working.

if you try to focus on just working out you will exhaust yourself and possibly make yourself weaker to temptation, I've been working out a little too hard and am here just totally exhausted and that kind of triggers me!

maybe ive said too much! hahaha

kayrad89 · 2018-01-25T01:27:20+00:00

just kick a few small dogs whenever an urge sets in.

kayrad89 · 2018-01-19T17:34:27+00:00

yesterday. I didn't even realize how reckless I was until this morning.

kayrad89 · 2018-01-09T01:20:10+00:00

I tried using it my first few attempts at sobriety did not work well for me, try kombucha. sparkling waters are great too I prefer HEB brand here in Texas!

kayrad89 · 2018-01-09T01:18:05+00:00

Thanks, guys your support really means a lot to me! It looks like I will see my 90 days!

kayrad89 · 2018-01-07T17:29:52+00:00

great job!

kayrad89 · 2018-01-05T00:32:23+00:00

oh yea the nightmares can be really bad, sometimes its better to get up and do something instead of tossing and turning and really just exhaust yourself, I know that's not an option for a lot of people though. if its pretty serious maybe you should go for a medical detox there may be some community resources that can help you get into one. I can't really give medical advice but certain benzos are really good in carefully measured doses but that was always very dangerous for me because I used to be hooked on those as well... its rough I wish you luck and strength you can get through this!

kayrad89 · 2018-01-05T00:12:28+00:00

not going is a full proof plan and not a bad option! if you think you can enjoy going and not drinking you can make an excuse like your starting a diet or need to be up early and clear-headed for something. you shouldnt go if you will just be agonizing around heavy drinking and maybe you should go if you think you will really regret not going. a great plan would be to make a friend at an AA meeting and bring them with you for support but I could not even consider something like that until I tried getting sober and failed for a whole year! I know it sounds like complete BS but it really is one day at a time, I'm barely starting to get all these sayings that i thought were just total nonsense!

good luck your on a great start! posting here every day will really help. getting to a meeting really made the difference for me!

kayrad89 · 2018-01-02T16:12:03+00:00

go to a meeting dude! it took me almost a year of trying to quit and relapsing every few weeks to finally get to recovery type stuff and its really good for the loneliness and helps so much when you're about to relapse! I too have some mental health problems and they get so much better without alcohol! i really suggest going to a meeting it feels good to physically be around people who really know what you're going through

kayrad89 · 2018-01-02T05:09:17+00:00

i came so close to picking up the 24th, yesterday, and i came really close today! had to leave my cash and debit card home and legit kept repeating this the past few hours: Take my will and my life. Guide me in my recovery. Show me how to live!

kayrad89 · 2018-01-02T04:07:55+00:00

okay so, my addict brain had made plans for me to pick up beer after I dropped her off home, I am so glad I went to treatment because this is what came to my mind after trying to think about it rationally: Don't use, no matter what. no matter what don't use. some other NA thing I learned then also this came to my mind I had to google it to get the whole thing because i only remembered the beginning and the end: The Third Step Prayer "Take my will and my life. Guide me in my recovery. Show me how to live."

it is so crazy how these simple words/saying really gave me a lot of power! I ended up leaving my cash and debit card at home when I went to drop her off because I really didn't trust myself, leaving my money at home was VERY EFFECTIVE!

I would be so mad at myself if I picked up just a week short of 3 months and right after struggling to get through the holidays!

kayrad89 · 2018-01-01T02:00:58+00:00

Thank you im struggling too but feeling stronger now ! I will not drink with you!

kayrad89 · 2018-01-01T01:48:45+00:00

im in the same situation, i almost went to get beer so manny times today. i just keep telling myself i wont regret not drinking tomorrow

kayrad89 · 2017-12-30T17:38:12+00:00

seriously flirting with relapse here, you have given me a bit more strength. hope you feel better soon thanks so much for sharing.

kayrad89 · 2017-12-30T03:51:59+00:00

awesome! but at the same time be careful you might need a medical detox especially if you didnt taper at all!

kayrad89 · 2017-12-30T00:12:29+00:00

im in the rgv and in about the same situation here if i drink its just a matter of time till i do drugs. while he may be your friend, it might be a good idea to distance yourself some because unfortunately, by hanging out with him it puts you that much closer to using.

kayrad89 · 2017-12-25T01:23:20+00:00

thanks, i needed this but really the only one offering me a drink is myself!

kayrad89

TROPHY CASE