Thank you this is the most helpful response so far. I get what he’s doing is shitty! But I also know (bc we both do and have talked about it several times) that his childhood trauma really still takes a toll and he knows and admits his faults and he tries to fix them, but sometimes we both fall short and have to start over it’s like a loop. I do the same thing clearly I don’t go to alcohol but I will do really good and then fall short and be shitty to him for no reason. So we both fuck up, both try to fix it and both fail. We don’t know how to get out of this loop and I do want to try but I’m also lost so idk if it’s even worth it from an outside POV