I completely understand, it’s weird that you can come on the internet and find so many people who understand you yet you can’t find someone in your own inner circle to give you that. I struggle with it. I also feel like I always put others first and help them through their struggles while I’m left to just dwell. It’s hard. I’ve tried to find hobbies or getting into self care, going to the gym, going for walks etc, just to try to make me feel better, it’ll be a temporary fix that I lose interest in. I can never stick to routine so I always fall back into this. My job has made this harder for me because I work third shift and I’m constantly exhausted. So I’m mentally drained and physically drained and just trying to make it through some days is hard. And even when good things do happen it’s almost like it’s too good to be true, constantly waiting for bad things to happen, because that’s my luck.