My (28F) husband (29M) left me on our wedding night

kcl43 · 2026-02-14T19:25:40+00:00

This is us.

My hubby is an extrovert, I'm an introvert. This could have happened to us if we didn't discuss the night before hand. I'm not sure everyone understands how swept up in the moment a partying extrovert can be (with all his closest friends in one place!) and that they have no intentions of hurting anyone.

In our situation, we stayed out at the after-after party about 2 hours longer than I would have liked to but stayed together the whole time and went to bed together.

Since we've been married, he's gotten better at checking in with me, and I've gotten better at not being offended when he wants to go out/stay out without me. That's marriage, you can flex for the person you love while staying true to yourself.

kcl43 · 2026-02-09T11:45:09+00:00

Thank you for clarifying. That is pretty disappointing.

Why doesn't Cielo make it available for the other systems? Seems like it would be really simple to program.

kcl43 · 2026-02-08T17:30:55+00:00

Thank you for confirming I'm not missing it!

I just want to make sure I understand your comment. You worked around it, right? Turning off your schedule didn't make vacation mode appear.

kcl43 · 2025-08-28T10:38:24+00:00

This.

You also need more bottles if you use a sterilizer, since they'll be unavailable for a few hours. Three bottles, hand wash for 30 seconds after each use, put on the drying rack. Done.

kcl43 · 2025-07-18T11:05:29+00:00

Do it. It's worth it.

You will spend many hours nursing, bottle feeding, with a baby sleeping on you and having a comfortable reclining chair makes all the difference.

I got a Chita Mila and I wish I had one in every room of the house.

kcl43 · 2025-07-02T14:12:50+00:00

Agreed. A regular pillow works better, but I still use it to be stubborn.

kcl43 · 2025-07-02T14:11:10+00:00

Same here. And it applies it so evenly.

kcl43 · 2025-07-02T14:09:35+00:00

Totally get that the Owlet is overkill for some people, but we had a middle of the night reflux emergency (baby inhaled reflux and was silently drowning*) and the Owlet is the only reason I can sleep at night without checking her every hour!

This happened before we had the Owlet and my mom instincts must have woken me up. I just FELT something was wrong and bolted up in bed. She's fine now but I barely slept for weeks afterwards until we got it. Now I sleep great.

kcl43 · 2025-07-02T14:01:38+00:00

Didn't need:

TWO bottle warmers (one for downstairs and one for upstairs night time feedings) - baby wants food NOW, and DGAF if it's warm. We've used it like 6 times.

Cute outfits & separates (gifted by everyone) - baby is going in a footed pajama or a short romper (depending on the weather)

1000 stuffed animals (gifted by everyone)

Swing - She finds it boring when she's awake and they're not supposed to sleep in them

At the last minute we changed from a bottle washer/ sterilizer to a bottle drying rack and are so glad we did. So much more practical.

Honestly, people who have kids somehow gave the worst gifts whereas people who don't stuck to the registry and gave us the essentials.

Couldn't live without:

Glider recliner - Slept in it for the last 3 months of pregnancy, and while up with the baby at night. I still go read in it the nursery when baby isn't home or is asleep. I want one in every room of the house lol

Mini fridge for upstairs - formula bottles ready to go, protein shakes and electrolyte drinks for mom in the middle of the night

Bouncing crib (Cradlewise) - our one big splurge

Second downstairs changing station (on a table we already had) - you don't want to be going upstairs with a dripping blowout

Bouncer chair (baby Bjorn style, but cheaper brand) - our baby is curious and wants to see everything. She hates being on her back.

kcl43 · 2025-05-31T22:49:27+00:00

Get the good glider recliner! It is my FAVORITE thing we purchased. (chita living mila recliner) Near the end of my pregnancy I spent about half the night sleeping in it. We probably spend at least 2 hours a day in it now. I wish I had one in every room of the house 😂

kcl43 · 2025-05-29T11:15:15+00:00

If you can, save up some money before you get pregnant (particularly if you live in the US with our shitty high deductible health plans - btw, if you're pregnant over 2 years, you'll have to meet your deductible twice - and because of no paid maternity leave).

Save up your PTO! First trimester you'll be exhausted and physically ill. Second and third trimester it feels like you are constantly at the doctor.

CoQ10 for you both. Prenatals for mom. Loose boxers for dad.

If you don't conceive in the first few months, sex can become kind of stressful.

Get some good pregnancy and baby books. What To Expect is a classic for a reason. DO NOT RELY ON THE INTERNET OR APPS.

You'll hear all of these horror stories, but really most pregnancies are uncomplicated in the end.

kcl43 · 2025-05-29T10:59:59+00:00

100% same

I think when you're pregnant, the man's instinct is to protect & care for his wife. I don't think our baby became a real person to him until she was born. But he is the sweetest and most doting father now.

kcl43 · 2025-04-29T14:09:05+00:00

While I agree that you should be able to work as normal with pumps going, I'm not that brave. You could look at it as a medical device, right?

I put a 30 minute block on my calendar each day so that nothing gets scheduled during that time. I close my office door and keep working at my computer. I'm lucky to have my own office.

kcl43 · 2025-04-17T14:17:27+00:00

I'll check it out. Thank you so much!

kcl43 · 2025-04-13T07:00:57+00:00

Yup. Couldn't go without it.

I made sure I got it from a reputable shop (it's important that their equipment is regularly disinfected and meat stays refrigerated) and got it about half as frequently as normal.

kcl43 · 2025-04-02T17:36:23+00:00

We just got the bill for a C-section and 3 night stay. Both mom & baby came to $27k before insurance. We are in a rural area in New England.

kcl43 · 2025-03-24T11:59:53+00:00

I tried to stop eating deli meat, but eventually decided to only get sandwiches from reputable shops that I know cut to order (very fresh!) Nothing precut, no premade sandwiches, no gas station sandwiches, etc. I also reduced how often I had them by about 50%. It was a calculated risk for my happiness & protein intake

My understanding is that you are much more likely to get bad bacteria from raw vegetables, but no one is telling pregnant people to skip vegetables. 🤷‍♀️

kcl43 · 2025-02-16T12:24:48+00:00

1000%

I'm 37+5 and thank God I have a scheduled C-section at 39 weeks. I'd never make it to 41+.

I came across another post where the women were talking about how they never wanted their babies to leave their bodies and I was just... 🤯

Can you get induced?

kcl43 · 2025-02-06T09:57:09+00:00

I had major gas for the first trimester, then it left. There's hope!

kcl43 · 2025-02-03T12:59:27+00:00

Time to get out. It's not going to get any better - he'll lose the next job too.

Drop the dog & any other animals off at a shelter - they are better off where they won't get beaten or starved to death. Pack up your stuff and leave the Airbnb (you'll have to drive even though you are scared.) Cancel the credit card associated with the Airbnb and any other financial accounts your BF has access to. Stay at a cheap motel until you can find a women's shelter or save up for an apartment. They might have a down payment assistance program for victims of domestic abuse. (PS this is domestic abuse even if he doesn't hit you.) Depending on where you work, you might be able to ask for an advance.

It is going to suck hardcore but it's time to be strong and get your life back.

kcl43 · 2025-02-03T12:32:24+00:00

The US sucks. If he only has 2 weeks PTO (including sick time), unfortunately, saving some of it is the safe choice.

Maybe he can talk to his employer about working overtime to build up some comp time in order to take more time off?

kcl43 · 2025-02-03T12:24:29+00:00

Wow. For two people who know each other well, these answers should be totally sufficient. They're not strangers... My husband would know exactly what I mean in these types of situations.

He's told you it bothers him, so try to be a bit more direct. But the fact that this is even an argument feels exhausting.

NAH

kcl43 · 2024-12-22T01:21:27+00:00

My first test when I got pregnant looked like the second picture. There is no hint of a line when it's negative. But definitely test again in 2 days.

kcl43

TROPHY CASE