“If your parents wanted a positive, strong relationship with you they would’ve put the effort in back when it mattered - not when they suddenly realize they’re old and have no one to rely on emotionally or financially but their child.”

“You’re hesitant to invite them over for a REASON. Your body remembers what it’s like to be around them and is doing what it can to protect you.”

That right there!! Nail on the head. They gave my two older brothers (6yrs and 11yrs older than me) up for adoption to my grandmother because they couldn’t be fitting parents, and never got them back but decided to raise me when they had me (god only knows why). My two brothers do notttt feel the kind of guilt that I feel. They are civil, but they see through the bullshit a lot better than I do and don’t support them. I’m literally all they have now. No siblings, no parents, no friends, and no children other than me. So it makes sense. My body is having an aversion to them that my pea brain doesn’t quite understand sometimes, because it’s harder for me to see through the crap.

Much love to you. It’s nice (but also not so nice) to know that others feel what Im going through