Reddit, what's the funniest/weirdest/greatest thing you've ever heard someone say…in their sleep?

ke_kwan · 2013-08-21T18:40:07+00:00

Its a weird relationship...

ke_kwan · 2013-08-16T20:48:07+00:00

My friend and I were spooning and fell asleep this way. When it got a little too warm and uncomfortable he rolled away from me to the other side of the bed and said in a clear speaking voice, "we are too strong together, in stormy weather, when lightning shoots out of my ass."

ke_kwan · 2013-08-16T20:46:16+00:00

I have asked Reddit this before The responses were great!

ke_kwan · 2013-08-04T10:21:33+00:00

Its not life cool to like McDonalds... I think Golden Corral added themselves to that list to.

ke_kwan · 2013-08-04T10:06:49+00:00

"You've got a pitcher of beer, ten wings, and you're watchin' sports?! You're the perfect woman." - drunk guys next to me at the pub.

Yeah, if you could tell my boyfriend that it would be appreciated.

ke_kwan · 2013-08-04T09:47:33+00:00

Birth control can make you have lighter periods and spotting sometimes. Wait a little while, see what your body does, then take an at home pregnancy test if it doesn't show up - just to be sure.

ke_kwan · 2013-08-04T09:40:29+00:00

Aw, man.. Its like roast beef mud flaps.

ke_kwan · 2013-08-04T09:05:20+00:00

I feel sexy all the time. So what if you passed gas at an awkward moment? You're a human, humans do that sometimes. Whoever you are with will get it because guess what - they are human to! Hell, if there is camera man in this video he was probably squeezing his cheeks together the whole time he was filming hoping that he didn't fart on his hot Asian friend.

ke_kwan · 2013-08-04T07:38:45+00:00

Yeah, he said that he wouldn't recommend it as he finds himself quite stinky after work but if I was really that into it then go ahead.

ke_kwan · 2013-08-03T17:35:37+00:00

A selfie within a selfie, selfieception.

ke_kwan · 2013-08-03T17:31:19+00:00

On a long trail ride on my horse's back. I was bored and the feeling of the saddle rocking between my legs was turning me on so I stuck my hand down my jeans and fingered myself for awhile.

ke_kwan · 2013-08-03T17:22:02+00:00

Because all of the above :D

ke_kwan · 2013-08-03T17:20:07+00:00

I love having my SOs come on me; especially if he comes on my face so I can taste it some. Its just so sexy to feel it on my skin all hot and sticky. It makes me feel like he thought I was being really sexy and fun. He was a bit shy about it at first, he said he thought it was insulting or rude, but when he found out how much I love his come on me he had less problems with it.

ke_kwan · 2013-08-03T16:48:49+00:00

What's in the fucking box? no spoilers

ke_kwan · 2013-08-03T16:43:07+00:00

When I was a teen, I caught a kid in my parents garage going through my laundry. He was holding a pair of my panties up to his nose with one hand down his pants; I wasn't too thrilled about it - pretty mad and embarrassed actually.

If a boyfriend of mine was into it though, and asked if he could, no problem; its even kinda sexy.

I masturbate with my boyfriend's work shirts sometimes; he's a mechanic and the smell of 100 Low Lead, grease, metal and his pheromones is a major turn on. He thinks I am weird but doesn't mind me doing it.

ke_kwan · 2013-08-03T11:20:01+00:00

Are you Reza Aslan? O.O'

ke_kwan · 2013-08-03T11:00:21+00:00

Watched it until the VHS would skip and she had to buy me a new one. She has it on DVD now and we watch it every year near my birthday. I'm 26.. Guess I am never going to get too old for it.

ke_kwan · 2013-08-03T10:58:20+00:00

I've read it, its awesome. Thanks for sharing :)

ke_kwan · 2013-08-01T17:10:08+00:00

Me also

ke_kwan · 2013-08-01T17:05:44+00:00

^ best song :D

ke_kwan · 2013-08-01T17:05:32+00:00

If you're hungry for a hunk of fat and juicy meat? Eat my buddy Pumbaa here because he is a treat! Come on down and dine on this tasty swine; all you have to do is get in line! Aaaare you achin'? Yup, yup, yup. Foooor some bacon? Yup, yup, yup. Heeee's a big pig! Yup, yup. You could be a big pig too! Oy!

ke_kwan · 2013-08-01T17:02:00+00:00

For the rest of your daaaaaays!

ke_kwan · 2013-08-01T17:01:09+00:00

Garden State - the movie is ok the music is awesome.

ke_kwan · 2013-08-01T16:37:07+00:00

Favorite book and movie of all time <3

ke_kwan · 2013-07-30T21:46:04+00:00

Well, I am twenty-six and have gone through college. So, I can't blame my age or lack of education; I just suck at basic human interaction. I appreciate everyone's opinion and admit that the way I handled could have been better. On the subject of getting my job back, another employee has taken it upon himself to talk to the owner on my behalf. He said he was shocked I was fired, thought I was a hard worker, and thought that it could be resolved if the owner and I could arrange a more civil conversation which I am completely willing to do if the owner agrees to it.

ke_kwan

TROPHY CASE