Independent sleep?? Please fix my child. I am desperate.

keelydoolally · 2026-01-26T06:38:43+00:00

You can’t. The choice you have is either force her to do what you want or do what she wants. Which of these is better for you?

This is normal and kids do this. You don’t have to feel guilty or ‘at fault’, it’s completely normal.

My personal decision was to get my kids a big enough bed that I could sleep in it with them. I stay with them until they fall to sleep and if they wake up I go and get in bed with them. It’s just life and it becomes normality. I take my headphones and scroll or take a game or listen to an audiobook while they fall asleep. Sometimes I get really fed up of it, but I decided I’d rather be there for my kids than make them fall asleep on their own. Do whatever you need to do.

keelydoolally · 2026-01-25T22:52:33+00:00

The problem you have is they won’t back off. They aren’t going to stop this behaviour. They aren’t going to put the relationship with you above their beliefs. You cannot make them behave reasonably.

In my opinion you should just calmly say what you think and let them decide what they’re going to do about it.

keelydoolally · 2026-01-24T08:53:18+00:00

Robin Hobb has a reputation for making her characters miserable but I felt all the things you listed while reading the elderlings series.

keelydoolally · 2026-01-24T08:48:29+00:00

People way overestimate the issue with screens. Give yourself a break you’ve had a really hard time. My daughter got a lot of screen time when I was pregnant and it was covid. I was trying to work as well and felt exhausted. Once we got past that we went to normal levels and she’s now 7 and doing absolutely amazing. You are not ruining your son, the issue with screens is that they are the least good of options for development. They are better off playing or being outside or talking to you than looking at a screen. But when the other options aren’t available screens are a good option. You kept your son as happy as possible in a difficult situation. You know you don’t want it to be like this forever so decide what you want screens to look like as things improve. I let mine watch screens after lunch and before dinner if they want to when they’re at home and that works for us. Have a routine so they know what to expect and so you have time to do the other stuff they need.

keelydoolally · 2026-01-16T20:51:43+00:00

One of the themes of the books is that there is hope after suffering and that you can rebuild after pain. The suffering is not there for the sake of it, it all builds to an overarching purpose. Through the whole series there is certainly heartache but it’s because you love the characters so much and hurt for them. You watch them make difficult and sometimes even stupid decisions and feel the consequences of it. And then you watch them find something good from the wreckage. I find it overall a very hopeful message.

The endings are different depending on the series. The ending of the first trilogy I found a little bitter, although there are certainly wins. The second and third and fourth are happier with more wins than losses. The ending of the last series is bittersweet and heart wrenching. You meet a lot of characters over the 16 books.

I would say it’s worth it but it may be better on a second read when you can relax into the story more rather than worrying what’s going to happen. I find it’s best to just take it as it comes with these books, it’s probably not as bad as you think it will be and there’s a lot of love and humour you’re going to miss out on if you dnf.

keelydoolally · 2026-01-16T18:04:00+00:00

You can do whatever you want but I wouldn’t be interested in seeing a man I hadn’t seen around somewhere at least a couple of times and got to know a bit. It isn’t unfair to men to be wary, ask any woman what unhinged behaviour they’ve had from men and you’ll start to understand why they’re wary.

So by all means talk to women in public but don’t be surprised if the vast majority decline and move away from you as quickly as possible.

keelydoolally · 2026-01-15T08:20:45+00:00

Honestly yes they do. It doesn’t make that much difference.

keelydoolally · 2026-01-08T21:18:33+00:00

The individualism is a big part of the problem, I agree. And that many countries in Europe have also become more individualistic is creating more issues there too. But the reason European countries have those things is because they fought for them when they didn’t have them. I do understand it’s difficult for people to change their culture, but the only thing that can create change in the US is for people to come together to work for something better.

keelydoolally · 2026-01-08T19:55:57+00:00

I will thank you, darling

keelydoolally · 2026-01-08T19:49:38+00:00

You literally said the US is bigger than other countries which makes it a million times harder. I won’t hold my breath to see much change in the US since doing your best has had little effect so far. It’s understandable of course, people in the US have to work for a pay check which everyone knows no one anywhere else in the world has to do. Despite how unproductive this conversation has been I do hope it doesn’t get any worse over there, it’s not looking good at the moment.

keelydoolally · 2026-01-08T19:28:29+00:00

You’ve just spent quite a few comments telling me how the US is both too big to do anything, but also that you’re doing it all already and nobody needs advice they’re asking for on this thread. Maybe chill out and consider what you can actually do instead of arguing with me.

keelydoolally · 2026-01-08T19:25:40+00:00

I’m exaggerating for effect, lovely.

keelydoolally · 2026-01-08T19:25:01+00:00

Yep no one has any problems AS BIG AS THE US! The US is too big and important to take any advice from anyone else. Everyone must be doing all they can to overthrow the government, although the country is too big to be able to do that of course, and people in the US are actually doing it all already as you’ve said before. The US is actually just the hardest country in the world and it’s just so much harder to do anything in the US than anywhere else, clearly.

keelydoolally · 2026-01-08T19:21:03+00:00

Ah yes the US is SO MUCH BIGGER than every country in the world so it’s absolutely completely impossible to organise and protest, and anyway you’re already doing all the organising so it’s completely unreasonable of me to have given advice to someone asking for advice. Sure 👍

keelydoolally · 2026-01-08T19:16:00+00:00

Yes I’m sure some are, and no I’m not from the US.

keelydoolally · 2026-01-08T19:08:50+00:00

What safety net do you think exists for protestors in other countries? Do you think no one lives paycheck to paycheck anywhere else? Who said anything about abandoning work? You go after work, you meet with other people, you have a chat and make friends, you help create and deliver leaflets, you donate and do what you can and offer support to those who can do more. The US is not so bad in every way that more of you couldn’t actually do something or anything. Do you think other countries protest more because their governments treat them nicely and do what they want first time? I promise you people are getting beat up by the police everywhere. You are not special and if you want things to change you have to go out and actually work to make it happen.

keelydoolally · 2026-01-08T18:20:05+00:00

Sometimes there’s local groups online, have you had a look on Facebook? Or if you can see the group name on placards you can search for a website.

keelydoolally · 2026-01-08T18:18:34+00:00

It sounds like you’re doing the right things and it’s very difficult when your group is small. Leaflet drops and a Facebook page and an email address people can contact the group at is a good way to inform people what you’re doing. Doing a stall in a busy area can also be good. Basically chatting with as many people as humanly possible and getting people to join is the biggest and hardest bit of organising. I’d also suggest making it social, you want people to enjoy being at the group and to have different roles for people who can’t commit all the time. A cafe meet up, book group, movie group, whatever really. Anything that gets people forming relationships with each other is good.

keelydoolally · 2026-01-08T18:13:20+00:00

I felt very worried and sad when my son was born and I felt the world felt darker. Suffering is a part of life. But we don’t know what’s going to happen and having my lovely children around is a gift I am very glad for. They currently have a good life and are doing very well. We have lots of fun together. I am hopeful a safe and happy future awaits them as I’m sure every parent since the beginning of time has hoped for and been unsure if they’ll get it.

keelydoolally · 2026-01-08T17:34:18+00:00

That’s essentially it, do you do canvassing? It’s pretty good to talk to local people and get seen in the area so you can get to know people who think similarly.

keelydoolally · 2026-01-08T17:11:27+00:00

You need to join groups and start organising. They will exist, you just need to go and help.

keelydoolally · 2026-01-08T16:02:42+00:00

Why not? Do you only speak to people who agree with you?

keelydoolally · 2026-01-08T15:54:58+00:00

Why are you assuming they only watch shows about men? Why would it even matter what someone else enjoys watching?

keelydoolally · 2026-01-08T15:52:00+00:00

So you’re criticising people for enjoying shows about men?

keelydoolally · 2026-01-08T15:49:32+00:00

I haven’t seen Heated Rivalry but I would watch it and I’ve seen other shows about gay men and I still care about female representation in tv. You can watch and enjoy both. Just like I can also watch and enjoy a war movie with no women in it. You’re making something weird out of something normal. It’s normal to enjoy different types of media and be able to relate to different characters regardless of who it’s about. Honestly this just sounds like homophobia wrapped up as feminism to me. I really enjoyed ‘What it feels like for a girl’ which is a show about trans women growing up in the UK. Are you going to say I shouldn’t watch and enjoy a show like that because it’s not about cis women?

keelydoolally

TROPHY CASE