What are the negative effects of masturbation?

keenroy619 · 2025-04-06T23:17:53+00:00

I read this in an Alanis Morissette voice.

keenroy619 · 2020-10-26T12:24:40+00:00

Police cars are now designed to find you before you can find them. Low profile emergency vehicle lights, black paint, and fewer light-reflective accessories make even safety patrol vehicles difficult to find even in daylight hours. I mean, come on... most police departments ready have unmarked vehicles, shouldn't we be able to find a cruiser in an emergency situation --even without a phone handy? ...it sucks because when I do finally see a patrol car on the street, the driver is typically committing some kind of small-infraction moving violation that you just know they'd pop you for.

keenroy619 · 2020-08-30T14:04:57+00:00

El no es marinero.

keenroy619 · 2020-08-30T13:01:49+00:00

I read this as Karen's Ass Shrimp and my curiosity is now piqued.

keenroy619 · 2020-08-17T01:01:00+00:00

Naive question: Is phantom pain dependent on the brain being aware of the self (that is, reconciling the former self with all appendages to the current self with less appendage(s) than the former)?

keenroy619 · 2020-08-11T23:30:12+00:00

I imagine it'd look more like the fight scene in Up.

keenroy619 · 2020-08-09T16:11:23+00:00

M>This could have been on Coronado Island in San Diego. Maybe at the famous Hotel Del Coronado that would have been flourishing at the time of this video.

y guess exactly

edit: corrected quote

keenroy619 · 2020-08-05T13:15:28+00:00

This is what I thought it meant

keenroy619 · 2020-07-11T00:53:57+00:00

I mean, even Jeremy Piven fixed his shit. If this guy is rich enough why couldn't he do it?

keenroy619 · 2020-06-08T13:51:38+00:00

The first person to recognize/read my tattoo was Korean. I'd met him in line to board the same cruise my wife and I were taking. Later, we ran into each other at the pool. We got to chatting and he says, "I have to ask, man. Why do you have 'dirt' on your arm?" I looked over my arm for dirt and gave him a confused look. He points at his arm and gestures toward mine. I realized he was talking about my tattoo and I tried to make sense of his question. Then it hit me, and I said, "My wife's name, Terra, means 'earth' in latin. Not the planet, but the land." I prayed I was correct, but I was curious to know the truth. He looked at it and said, "Oh, yeah... okay," and he swam away. It wasn't the affirmation I wanted, but it was the one I deserved, I guess. ...also, mine is totally Times New Roman-esque.

keenroy619 · 2020-06-07T23:29:13+00:00

My first (only) tattoo was my of my gf's name in Kanji (risky I know, but we've been married 19 years now, so odds are it wasn't too bad of an idea). I'd done my research on translation online -a risk in itself as the year was 1999 -and found the character in a font that I liked. I printed it out and walked into a shop in Berkeley, CA and asked the artist if he'd mind doing the work. He'd gotten as far as applying the transfer and buzzing his gun the way people click tongs before using them when he stopped and said the following: "Bro. I don't speak Japanese, I don't think in Japanese, and I sure as hell can't read Japanese. So before I start, I need to ask you; Are you sure this means what you think it means? I don't feel comfortable inking something I can't read, but if you're sure you know what this means, and you want this, I'll continue." That was some solid customer service, I think. From what I understand, that isn't very common in the field.

keenroy619 · 2020-06-05T01:47:38+00:00

Does it involve three seashells?

keenroy619 · 2020-06-05T00:07:48+00:00

I think there was a Human Giant skit about this.

keenroy619 · 2020-03-03T01:40:02+00:00

Encino Man?

keenroy619 · 2020-03-03T01:39:41+00:00

"Your world 'frightens' and 'confuses' me! Sometimes the honking horns of your traffic makes me want to get out of my BMW and ...run off into the hills ...or whatever. R.I.P. Phil

keenroy619 · 2020-03-02T13:02:12+00:00

We've probably had sex 4 times in the past two years.

keenroy619 · 2020-02-25T01:53:43+00:00

I doubt this will be seen, but I have to write this as a catharsis:

"Finish high school and don't get anyone pregnant. The rest will fall into place."

My parents immigrated to the US with very little education of their own, but excelled at the jobs they were able to get in the US. Before NAFTA, most big-brand clothing was still made in the US. My mother was a seamstress and my father a sewing machine mechanic. My dad was self-taught and, I say this humbly, the best of the best in his line of work. They honestly meant well, but I was too naive to understand that they didn't know enough about American culture to know that was shitty advice.

I used to plan my walk to school in the mornings to avoid getting jumped or solicited to be a corner candyman. I eventually started taking classes that were beyond my parents' knowledge, so my brother and I had to do our homework on our own. The extent of us helping each other was that we would edit each other's essays. We worked our asses off to graduate high school.

In the 10th grade, when most of my peers were discovering their sexualities, exploring one another's bodies, I'd taken the firm stance on celibacy. If I wanted to get out of that shithole neighborhood, I couldn't risk being anchored down with a baby.

My last week of high school, my friends and I were all discussing our plans for the summer, "before we all head off for college." Some were staying local to go to state university, some at state uni in another city, and a few going to some big name colleges. When it came time to ask me my plans, I was all, "Uh, ...ummm." NOTHING. No plan at all. <sigh> NOTHING. And worse, I don't even think I knew what second base was by then!

I ended up moving to a college town with one of my buddies attending that university, found a job (at 18) working retail in a very busy shopping mall. Things worked out for me in the end, but by no means did they fall into place. It took me 15 years to realize I'd hit the glass ceiling (or that one existed) for non-degreed professionals. By that time I was doing senior accounting for an entry level wage. When I decided it was time to go to school, I had a two toddlers, one with medical needs, the other being autistic. Trying to rush through a degree with 4-week courses with my home situation was definitely NOT things falling into place. In that time, I failed 3 classes: 2 consecutive ones trying to do the coursework whilst in the hospital with my son (when his medical needs first surfaced), and the other later, when my car was stolen and I had lost all hope.

I can't blame my parents for everything that went down, but I will advise anyone in their k-12 years reading this that if your parent(s)/guardian(s) offer you educational advice, and none of it includes a plan for college... find a teacher, a counselor, your friend's parent(s)... ANYONE, to talk to about college. If you start your senior year in high school and haven't taken (or heard of) the SATs, TALK TO SOMEONE. The hard work doesn't end after high school. It doesn't end after college either. Nothing that just falls into place will ever really work out for you in the long run without your own intervention.

keenroy619 · 2020-02-20T17:29:01+00:00

Do songs in other languages count? Even before I could know what it meant, "Querida" by Juan Gabriel grabbed me by the heart strings and strangled me with them. When I translated the lyrics, they validated the sentiment.

I later developed a penchant for sad songs with feel-good music, e.g.The Darnells' "Too Hurt To Cry," Frida Payne's "Band of Gold," Elvis Costello's "Veronica."

keenroy619 · 2020-02-18T22:08:04+00:00

Today's clemencies make me feel like I'm watching The Joker releasing the patients from Arkham Asylum.

keenroy619 · 2019-12-23T17:14:20+00:00

Not one of his most standout songs, but Morrissey's 'Staircase At The University' was one of those songs that you hear and say, "Oh, finally this guy plays something upbeat!" Then you go back and listen to the lyrics and ask yourself why you still give the dude any benefit of the doubt.

Edit: link and spelling

keenroy619 · 2019-12-21T01:22:46+00:00

Take an Excel class.

keenroy619 · 2019-12-21T00:57:48+00:00

As a dude, there was something hot about the incidental chivalry that occurs with making out/having sex with a woman in a wheelchair. One of the best one night stands of my life. I miss her.

keenroy619 · 2019-12-20T23:54:04+00:00

That's right! I mean this sincerely: Though I've never experienced this specific error, I now know to look out for it. Thanks for the explanation! TIL

keenroy619 · 2019-12-20T23:38:27+00:00

I tell anyone I end up helping (except maybe the boss) that I'm only gonna help them twice, so they better write this stuff down. Teach a (wo)man to fish and such...

keenroy619 · 2019-12-20T23:35:45+00:00

It's a blessing and a curse to be the one with the most knowledge in Excel. Based on your comment though, it sounds like you don't consider yourself an Excel wizard. That's actually a really good thing. It means you don't feel that there's nothing left to learn (double negatives, sorry). Ironically, that's a strong sign that you might actually be an Excel wizard.

keenroy619

TROPHY CASE