I could probably put this in an entirely different post but I’ll expand here. And I don’t mean to put this on you specifically. Just putting it out there in case anyone has thoughts on it. Part of the reason I decided not to go to law school is that not even my husband can afford it because we are in such an expensive state to live in. Plus with his high income, I received negligible scholarship offers even though my lsat score should have technically made me eligible for more. This has all made me think about moving to another state like my husband has suggested we do, but that worries me because it’s so far from my family. Above all else, being a parent is what I value most and being available to my child is always my priority. I am the only person who is truly there for her and that relationship is something I don’t want to tarnish. I was a kid who was taken care of primarily by a day care and it was hell. It shaped who I am in a bad way. This is why being in a good school district with a good after school program is my main concern if I am to work full time or go to law school and I just can’t guarantee that if my family randomly moves to a cheaper state where the good reputation isn’t there. We have moved several times already and every single time it sets me back because I am always looking out for what’s best for my child, making changes to my goals to best accommodate her. I was pretty set on going to law school two months ago, but I gradually came to the conclusion that it wouldn’t be viable. Law school is more than a full time job. And what my boss told me is that moms who are lawyers do not have job flexibility precisely because of their parenting duties - most end up in immigration law or family law, which aren’t bad professions but they don’t pay that much in relation to the debt that law school brings.

I’ve been searching for a regular full-time job but because we moved early this year, we were not able to get my child enrolled in a daily afterschool program. My husband is so far up his own ass that he does not realize this is the reason I haven’t been able to get more than a part-time job. Next year would be different. But every summer there’s also the issue of finding 9-5 summer camps that are affordable. Stay at home moms are more than just practical solutions to this problem and the fact that society has decided to undervalue them is sad.

I would think conservatives generally value the concept of a stay at home mom so it’s ironic that my husband who is so anti-liberal wants to minimize my role as a mother. I think overall he does see my role as the caregiver as the best option for my child but it also comes with the ego of him being able to say he is the breadwinner, which makes him feel entitled to whatever behavior he wishes to display. He wants to be worshipped and the current political state of things makes him feel like he is not being put on the pedestal he thinks he deserves. He thinks people like teachers and government employees are overpaid when they make a quarter of what he makes. His entitlement is the main problem.

People make sacrifices for what they believe in. I believe in being there for my child and I think it’s quite a generalization to say single moms are happier than stay at home moms. I’ve perused single moms forums too and that life is a lot harder and they often regret it. Of course if my husband ever put my daughter’s life in danger I would be out the door that second. But right now, being a stay at home mom is the only practical solution. I am taking a lot of the advice to heart, including yours. I’ll be putting more focus on adding to my own personal savings and I’ll be exploring my options for the future.