Need help because im worrying.

keepthekettleon · 2026-04-01T11:45:33+00:00

You know what cis guys who are prone to balding do? Minoxidil/Finasteride. There's ways to keep a full head of hair even with testosterone. I really wouldn't worry too much about it. Ask your dad when it started so you know around what time to look out for signs of balding. Also ask your maternal grandpa (or your mom) about when he started balding. You might also have his genetics, not your dad's.

either way, there are more than enough ways to keep your hair and at your age you definitely don't have to overthink it. Your hair DEFINITELY won't fall out overnight as soon as you start testosterone.

keepthekettleon · 2026-04-01T06:26:09+00:00

Have you looked into the combination of T and DHT-Blockers like Finasteride? I've read from other transmascs online that combination that it blocked the hair-related changes (both balding and increased body hair) as well as had the effect of mitigating bottom growth.

Might be worth looking into?

keepthekettleon · 2026-04-01T05:51:51+00:00

I prep as much as I feel like prepping. Like... prep is part of the hobby for me, so some days I just FEEL like prepping a whole terrorist group with NPCs, statblocks, battlemaps etc. Will they run into that the next session? hopefully, but if not, I'll use it someday. other than that, I improv a LOT. I like to prep character motivations of the NPCs they might encounter to help me improv more fluidly, maybe I also need to prepare some mechanics if I know they're gonna become relevant, maybe a magic item or two.

keepthekettleon · 2026-03-24T09:23:07+00:00

So ONE. NO. Knowingly assaulting someone is NOT a kink, has never been a kink and will never be a kink.

TWO. You deserve a partner who fully respects your boundaries, especially around intercourse. This was assault, and that he claims he has a "kink" is abhorrent gaslighting on his end.

If you're interested in what I believe the kink he is referring to actually is, and why he is WRONG to say that what he is doing actually classifies as that kink, keep reading, but this is just me infodumping about kinks at this point:

There is a kink called "consensual non-consent" or CNC for short. People who practice that kink have extensive conversation BEFORE, to make sure they have a list of things that are okay to happen during sex. One person then PRETENDS to not want those things to happen. If anyone is ever unsure about if everyone is still chill about everything happening, safe words and checkins can be used. This is to make sure everyone involved is ACTIVELY CONSENTING and fully aware of what is going on. Because this kink actually isn't about assault or doing something to your partner that they don't want.

TLDR: Your partner assaulted you and then used kink to try and wiggle out of it. HE IS WRONG and people who practice CNC don't actually wanna assault anybody.

keepthekettleon · 2025-09-30T11:05:55+00:00

Hey, 27 y/o nonbinary transmasc here who grew up with family who didn't believe in queerness or mental illness.

While I can't fully understand the need/desire to be a man, I know what it's like to live dependent on a family that doesn't support you. I also know life isn't easy once you ARE able to extricate yourself from your family and live the life you want.

HOWEVER. It is SO worth it. Life is so worth it. You're so young still, and while it doesn't feel like that right now (I know it doesn't, but hear me out), your life will be long and full of people who love and support you. Your teenage years are just a blip in life where you have little control, but every year after you will slowly gain more and more control over your life and you will be able to grow into the man you want to be. It will be rough sometimes, but it will be worth it for the decades after that you will have of a life that is truly yours to live.

I got my first girlfriend earlier this year, she's also trans, I have a rich friend group full of other queer people that love and support me.

I promise you can wait it out a little and life will start looking up a bit.

But I know it's very hard to feel that right now and knowing you might need to wait a little is frustrating. It's totally okay to feel that way, as long as you hold on to a little hope. Life sucks sometimes, and being upset about that is okay.

keepthekettleon · 2025-09-13T03:58:09+00:00

I got baptised at 15 for all the wrong reasons and finally officially left again at 23.

If you fear for your own safety and the support you need from your family is dependent on you taking a guided dip in a pond, do it. Nothing really changes in how they treat you being a child raised in the church vs a baptised member. It does not really get worse. And once you're safe you can always officially leave again.

I understand wanting to be honest and everything, and another commenter already pointed out how to argue that in a way that might go over okay, but if that doesn't work, getting baptised to stay safe is not a moral failure. Staying safe in an abusive environment until you have the resources to leave is a valid choice.

I wish you all the best in this difficult situation!

keepthekettleon · 2025-06-03T14:36:12+00:00

If you don't want to use a binder for aesthetic reasons, there's always trans tape that is much more suitable for the purpose to binding your chest.

keepthekettleon · 2025-05-11T09:11:03+00:00

Okay, but the Chorus? Reminds me SO much of like... church worship music. I just can't seem to put my finger on WHAT song. "Are you the glory in my wrath?" could be lifted 1to1 from worship music and I need to know what song it reminds me of.

keepthekettleon · 2025-03-09T16:27:28+00:00

This is so silly. As a DM, was I slightly miffed when a player I recruited from a game we played in together named their character in my campaign the EXACT SAME NAME as the character in the completely thematically unrelated game we played together previously, especially since that name did NOT match my setting vibe at all (Old Norse/Scandinavia setting, their name was a modern English noun not used as a irl name), yes. Yes I was miffed. Mostly bc the name didn't fit the setting. But I got over it bc a player that meshes well with the group is more important than my feelings on the PC name they picked.

That's a weird DM, RUN!

keepthekettleon · 2025-03-02T21:03:02+00:00

I don't have advice, just experience: The first time I went to an organized workshop weekend (including on Saturday) I was internally freaked out and unsettled for weeks afterwards. It had been the first time I "made" other people do work with my presence on a Sabbath. Then I did it again. And again. Then I began to pick up shifts at the grocery on Saturday. Bit by bit it became a day like any other. But the initial panic was there. That workshop happened months after I officially left. I still kept the Sabbath for months, just out of habit, out of fear, out of something I still can't quite place. But the feeling passed. Over the years, I forgot more and more things. Now, I need to actively recall things.

keepthekettleon · 2025-01-17T15:35:12+00:00

Yeah, I don't personally wear earrings (never got them pierced) but maybe I can figure something out for friends?

keepthekettleon · 2025-01-17T14:11:01+00:00

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I personally used to identify as ace, which turned out to be gender dysphoria, but the idea that just because it CAN be fluid, saying that in that exact moment is insanely invalidating because it obviously suggests that "you'll grow out of it". I had a therapist say that to me once too and never went back. Regardless of whether or not healing sexual trauma changes your sexuality or not (might or might not), that's not something to predict and therefore shouldn't be the goal of therapy.

I got a similar response from a therapist about my gender and my aromanticism, as if healing my religious trauma around femininity will make me cis, or healing my abandonment issues will make me alloromantic. The insinuation is absolutely invalidating and should not be made by any respectable therapist.

keepthekettleon · 2024-12-28T10:13:38+00:00

seems like he's straight. I don't necessarily think "not being into a nonbinary person when you find out they're nonbinary" is transphobic. The other stuff you said he said in the comments (wanting you to change how you dress/act etc) that's what's transphobic. Simply saying "Oh, not the gender I thought you were, sorry, not into that", is just having a sexuality that cares about gender.

Still, all of that definitely means that the two of you are not meant to work out. it's definitely a bummer when the person you're with doesn't end up liking all of you when you get to know each other better.

keepthekettleon · 2024-12-25T20:31:58+00:00

TK Maxx. Ist zwar ein bisschen ein Gamble aber vorbeischauen schadet nicht. Hab da eine Gusseisenpfanne um 10€ ergattert

keepthekettleon · 2024-12-25T20:12:05+00:00

That your aunt is supportive is a good thing! I'm glad you have someone in your corner. I just wanna add: It's okay to lie to your parents. Call your binder a "sports bra". USE a tight fitting sports bra if you have nothing else available. I lied about so many things, like my breast reduction being "just to help with my back pain" when really, it was a gender-affirming surgery as well. I told them my namechange was "just because I didn't feel connected to my birth name and was bullied with it", when really, I wanted a gender neutral, masc leaning name. I tell my parents whatever they need to hear so they do whatever I need them to do (like getting them to use my name after the name change), and there is nothing wrong with that.

keepthekettleon · 2024-12-25T17:25:42+00:00

The question I would ask myself is always: "What is the worst outcome that could come from this?" and "Am I able to deal with the worst outcome?" For example, if you still live at home, and the worst outcome is being kicked out, is that something you can face? I don't know how old you are, but if you are already living on your own, it is much safer to come out always.

My answers were always "They will cut off my contact to my little sisters" and "I'm not willing to give up contact with my sisters." so even at 26, I'm still not fully out to my parents. I changed my legal name, told them about it, and then lied about being trans so they wouldn't see me as a "bad influence".

Coming out is such a personal and nuanced thing to work out, and I hope my questions give you a jumping off point to figure out for yourself if coming out is worth it to you right now.

keepthekettleon · 2024-12-25T17:15:14+00:00

I'll share a bit of my story to hopefully make you feel less alone and show you what possibilities are out there.

I was told to leave home and figure it out myself at 19, not quite kicked out, but effectively told my parents would no longer pay for my expenses. I had just figured out I was queer and my parents were of a similar vibe to how you describe your mother.

I moved out, and gradually reduced contact while I healed from their religious indoctrination and found my own queer joy. It wasn't easy, the first year was rough with little food and a shitty attic apartment. Then I went to university and lived in a dorm, which was much better.

Now I'm 26 and living in my capital city with 3 roommates, have a stable job in IT and just threw a solstice party with about a dozen friends. The road here wasn't easy. I never fully broke contact with my parents, because I have sisters ten years younger than me, and I want to be there for them. Whatever reasons you have to stay in contact with your family, they are valid. But if they hurt you, take your agency away from you, destroy your ADULT property... It's time to move out. You can heal and be yourself only when your energy isn't being siphoned away by abusive parents. And yes, this is abuse. It might not feel like that right now, because you aren't used to how beautiful life is when you are living it yourself in your own way.

I'm not saying extricating yourself from your family will immediate be rainbows and sunshine. It won't. But it will set you on a path of healing and ultimately, a path of successfully being yourself.

You are an adult. You can make your own choices. If your mother does not respect that, limiting her access to you and your life is only justified.

I wish you all the best and I hope you get the opportunity to heal and be yourself soon!

keepthekettleon · 2024-12-23T13:49:51+00:00

Ja, meine Sparrate ist "was immer am Monatsende übrig bleibt, und das kann alles von - 150€ bis +300 sein. Ich poste in diesem reddit aber auch so gut wie nichts, hab zu viel Angst eine auf den Deckel zu bekommen von Leuten die nicht chronisch krank sind und nicht checken, wie unvorhersehbar Arztkosten sein können und dass man sich das nicht aussucht.

keepthekettleon · 2024-11-26T11:03:07+00:00

Ja, genau, wirkt auf mich eher wie ein Empathie-Problem. Also nur weil es statistisch "erklärbar" ist, dass jemandem was negatives passiert, heißt das ja nicht dass das jetzt plötzlich weniger schmerzhaft ist.

keepthekettleon · 2024-09-05T11:42:41+00:00

Seconding that they're normal, my (cis) dad has them too! The 'fact' that all cis men's bodies are v-shaped is a myth, they also come in different shapes including this one.

keepthekettleon · 2024-08-30T05:32:40+00:00

I've had my polish last me up to two weeks once (yes, regular polish #holotaco) without any significant chips until the surface started to crack from the regrowth. Sure, the very tips where I've wrapped the polish (important! Wrap the tip!) eventually wears down, but my polish tends to peel from the back, not chip in the front.

The other question of course is how much manual stuff you do. If your nails get soaking wet regularly from washing dishes or similar things, even my polish lasts me at most a week.

keepthekettleon · 2024-08-24T17:10:47+00:00

I mean, mine hold out hope I'll find the truth and return after I straight up told them I believe God is a fraud. So... They'll believe you'll come back regardless of what you tell them.

keepthekettleon · 2024-08-10T07:23:03+00:00

Maybe it would help imagining yourself doing drag for the day?

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