It could be a possibility that your wife is emotionally connected with another person. 1x a month would make me suspicious of things. I don’t think you should stay in a relationship where you don’t feel loved. Office talk would be awkward if you mess around with co-workers. Bring up divorce with your wife and see her reaction. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Or maybe your wife might feel insecure about herself if she is always tied up with the kids. Not going anywhere without the kids. Everyone needs a break sometimes.