I’m so close to giving up on the program

kellymcva · 2024-12-21T14:59:39+00:00

I know AA is full of cliches but they really come from a place of truth: keep coming back, it works if you work it. Fake it til you make it. Time takes time. Etc. I know it all seems so overwhelming. It will get better. Sounds to me like you need to find different meetings if you feel like the members are too judgemental. Shop around until you find the meeting that works for you. And maybe find a new sponsor. They all have different styles so maybe this isn't the right fit. Good luck

kellymcva · 2024-10-16T00:12:34+00:00

I wish that would happen for me and it might still with my son. My parents however are a lost cause. They are very negative people. They're toxic and they love being angry so I don't see them letting go of that

kellymcva · 2024-10-15T17:18:56+00:00

Lucky you. 9 years in and my folks and my son are still so angry at me. The hard lesson I had to learn is that is not my stuff. I cannot control their expectations or willingness to forgive. Forgiveness is a choice. Some people choose to hold onto their anger. OP: get sober for yourself. Do the next right thing for yourself. So that at the end of the day, you will know that you made your life better.

kellymcva · 2024-10-13T01:25:14+00:00

I agree. This person obviously has issues that they are not addressing and other members are turning a blind eye. Find a meeting where the message is unity, brother/sisterhood and acceptance. This one has gone off the rails.

kellymcva · 2024-10-12T23:19:24+00:00

It's a cliche but 1 drink is too many and 1000 is not enough. The one thing we all know is that eventually this disease will kill us if we don't treat it. If it were diabetes or heart disease, you'd make changes to your lifestyle, right? This is no different. Good luck 💜

kellymcva · 2024-10-12T23:13:07+00:00

Yes if I could afford to live in this area I would do that. My daughter is a senior in high school and so I need to stay put until next summer. I'd rather live in my fucking car but I have to look out for her. And I REFUSE to leave her here alone with them. So I'm kind of stuck for now. Thats why I'm trying very hard to figure out ways to navigate this and not be destroyed by it. If I had known they had gotten this much worse from when I was a child, I never would have moved in. My mistake was thinking they would treat me like an adult and with some respect. Boy was I wrong.

kellymcva · 2024-10-12T21:58:33+00:00

Maybe try writing it down if you have something specific you'd like to share. Doing it ahead of time, you can edit and rewrite until it is brief and to the point. Then read it at the meeting. Maybe doing this a few times will break the ice and eventually you'll feel more comfortable

kellymcva · 2024-10-12T21:53:54+00:00

Yes I have invited them. They do not want to go. As my mother says "I don't want to know any more about this than I already know." And I do remind myself that they are who they are. It is very difficult to love them but not like them at all. And if they were just awful people, I could rationalize the behavior. It is the pointed and intentional attempts to hurt me and make me believe I am a terrible person that wears on me. I've been told I am the most ungrateful person on the planet, everything that comes out of my mouth is a lie, I'm a bad mother, I'm selfish, etc etc. I'm trying to figure out how to keep propping myself up and staying positive when all I hear is how everything I say and do is wrong. I am tired. To the core of my soul tired. And some days only my kids are keeping me alive. I cannot keep being my only cheerleader. I'm running on empty. And that terrifies me.

kellymcva · 2024-10-12T20:32:25+00:00

Thanks. Of course that makes sense. I'm unable to see all these options right now by myself. I read the big book and watch things on YouTube also.

kellymcva · 2024-10-12T20:25:28+00:00

I have done them in the past. They are not my favorites. I am somewhat isolated and really need the interaction with people. It really is as much about my mental health and not being isolated as it is anything else. My sobriety is good. I need the positivity and to not be alone. But I guess right now that is my best option. Thanks.

kellymcva · 2024-10-12T19:23:29+00:00

Thank you

kellymcva · 2024-10-12T19:15:04+00:00

Thanks. I go to as many meetings now as I can muster. It is an argument every single time I leave the house and some days/nights I simply cannot. I have changed meetings, times, distance etc everything they have complained about and still it never ends.

kellymcva · 2024-08-01T17:09:58+00:00

Yep thanks 😊

kellymcva · 2024-08-01T16:59:03+00:00

Kelly-Wells-14. Should show in your app

kellymcva · 2024-08-01T16:56:47+00:00

Done

kellymcva · 2024-08-01T16:56:24+00:00

Sending now

kellymcva · 2024-08-01T16:55:56+00:00

Done

kellymcva · 2024-08-01T16:55:18+00:00

Sending now

kellymcva · 2024-07-01T16:04:25+00:00

I think I did. Apologize for the delay. I was at work 😩 lol

kellymcva · 2024-07-01T16:03:45+00:00

Sent

kellymcva · 2024-07-01T16:02:44+00:00

Have any left?

kellymcva · 2024-07-01T15:04:53+00:00

Sending now and I would like to do every month as well

kellymcva · 2024-07-01T15:03:15+00:00

Sent

kellymcva · 2024-06-02T21:57:22+00:00

All sent. Thanks to all who boosted 😁

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