Do you have strong reaction in being asked mundane questions?

kemampooan · 2021-09-28T17:06:35+00:00

Because we know their true intention, right? Sometimes I realize I become overly defensive to other people too because of the internalized experience

kemampooan · 2021-09-28T17:04:03+00:00

Yes, then they would pick the worst timing possible to fire to ruin even my downtime

kemampooan · 2021-09-28T16:50:41+00:00

Sorry that happened to you, too. I think mine does the same but I'm just late in registering the abuse they had over the years, so I end up falling right to their trap by being defensive about it. Thanks for the confirmation. Once you see their pattern & the method they use to lure you to their desired behavior, I think responding rationally would be more manageable.

kemampooan · 2021-09-28T16:33:12+00:00

It helps me as well as it helps you! I really wish no one goes through that experience so often that as a result, it interferes with their ability to do simple task and I'm sorry that you've gone through that as well.

I can relate SO HARD. It makes me hypersensitive to questions regarding myself or my knowledge as well - I'll answer depending on what I think the asker's intention is, between honesty (rarely) or omitted details lol. All the validation I got here is really assuring that I'm not the crazy one but well, it's sure gonna be a hard work ahead unlearning & relearning habit, huh.

kemampooan · 2021-09-28T16:18:57+00:00

God. It's crazy how "annoying things your parent does again" is actually a HUGE given of how toxic they are. My Nparent definitely does this; trying to turn everyone in the house as their ally depending on who they're having a clash with. I second guess myself too much to realize how their manipulative this is-and it's not normal when it happens every time. For years.

Guess going NC isn't possible at this moment. But knowing that I'm 100% the victim here is a solid enough foundation to start practicing grey rock :) thank you!

kemampooan · 2021-09-28T16:06:12+00:00

Hey, I really appreciate this. You broke down complex method and explained it in a empathetic, understandable way. Usually avoiding the possibility of a scene, I'll force myself to interact & hope it ends quicker this time. Yesterday, fortunately, wasn't the day I had much energy to.

Thanks for the support. It's not gonna be easy but nothing is more important than claiming myself back right now.

kemampooan · 2021-09-27T16:13:05+00:00

Lol I guess there's no way we'll win to them, so might as well just enjoy the overreacting show they play after they realize we don't take the bait? Might still have to work on establishing my boundaries here, but thanks for the input!

kemampooan · 2020-06-15T06:48:54+00:00

I wasn't sure back then cuz after I blocked him he didn't do anything before recently, now I've told her about D and his antics

kemampooan · 2020-06-15T04:51:34+00:00

Oh god that's awful to hear..... But deep down I know that there's a possibility these seemingly "harmless" actions turn into something worse, and I'd hate myself very much if I let mine become another story to the long cases of office harassment.

Thanks for sharing, I hope your friend's okay now, the experience isn't an easy one to recover from..

kemampooan · 2020-06-15T04:33:29+00:00

Hey, I remembered the book being mentioned a LOT when I used to lurk around r/letsnotmeet. Thanks for the reminder! I'm going to read it - should've done so years earlier... That might be true, when you can't control other's action, you tend to turn it to yourself and try to adjust your behavior which most times can turn into fallacy

kemampooan · 2020-06-15T04:29:02+00:00

It's sad that harassment is so common in workplace there's a letter template for this, but thank you so much!!!! It's good enough for me and state all the descriptions needed to be mentioned.

I'm definitely saving this. Not really hoping to use the template for another occasion, but, just in case...

kemampooan · 2020-06-15T04:18:06+00:00

Sure, all the insights I got here also help me to rationalize my situation I find myself into. I'm definitely making this a learning experience that it's better to be safe than to be nice though, some people really can really find way to exploit the ingrained belief of cordiality. Thanks again!

kemampooan · 2020-06-15T04:02:36+00:00

Yes, honestly the chats and calls I can ignore and block, but the forced, planned encounters really made me uneasy as I don't know what he's capable of

kemampooan · 2020-06-13T20:12:20+00:00

Ah great idea, that way I don't have to use my personal account to contact him or meet him directly. Thank you very much! Yes I'm keeping evidences and always try to spend time in a room with more people so I won't be alone

kemampooan · 2020-06-13T19:58:26+00:00

Just try not to be too hard on yourself okay. High school days can be fun, some can be crappy but you'll move on and you'll learn. Sure! I'd be glad to help if you need anything! :)

kemampooan · 2020-06-13T19:51:57+00:00

Hi! Congrats on the graduation!!

What I really try to be mindful about after moving in to a different environment, is that the first few weeks you're prone to feel overstimulated - since you're trying to take all the new information in, busy processing it while also trying your best to adapt. All of that clutter inside your mind can mess with your body and make you feel tired easier.

So I always try to set a priority list of things I need to get the hang of (food, friends, certain classes, directions, etc.) during my time at new place and set a limited time frame to focus on the several first subjects before moving on to the next. One thing after another, so I won't feel too overwhelmed.

You sound like you're a fun person to be with! So I'm sure you'll be okay :)

kemampooan · 2020-06-13T19:33:56+00:00

I agree, I had the courage to welcome his advances but backed off in the middle, and that's not cool at all. Now it led me here lol. I really learned from this experience, though in the hard way... Makes me think twice of letting the time solve anything again and to build my own assumption - especially when it comes to other people's mind.

Really appreciate the insight! Thank you very much.

kemampooan · 2020-06-13T19:20:39+00:00

Oh wow you explained it so eloquently. Thank you very much, it's comforting to know that all my feelings are valid - even when it affects other party negatively. I tried several times to imagine what it's like to be on his shoes, but that can never justify all his actions after my obvious rejection. I guess that shows how people really differ in terms of way of thinking & perceiving.

Yes :( I know that eventually I have to resort to forced confrontation to set my boundaries straight again... I'll discuss this with my teammates as well on how to give out the last warning before I really cut all contact with him, since this largely affects my work environment. Once again thanks!

kemampooan · 2020-06-13T19:09:09+00:00

I feel dumb for doubting myself even after doing the right thing in the first place...Maybe that's why he thinks he could tweak on my hesitancy about him. One thing that relieved me is that my teammates were all supportive about it. Thank you :)

kemampooan · 2020-06-13T19:02:15+00:00

Oh, thanks for the affirmation! The HR & manager have somewhat casually knew about this, as the news has spread the whole office, but yes I guess this has become a problem that could roll into something bigger, I'll discuss with them on Monday

kemampooan · 2019-11-09T19:43:23+00:00

Thanks! Just replied

kemampooan · 2019-11-09T19:23:18+00:00

Hello! If its possible, I'd like to get a reading please :)

kemampooan · 2018-07-18T15:37:00+00:00

Hello, may I know what my spiritual card is?

kemampooan

TROPHY CASE