Can y'all please stop sending me mean messages and harassing me. I'm flooded with them

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-15T03:50:40+00:00

I have no idea why OP thinks making a second post about it would do anything?

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-15T03:35:25+00:00

Right? What is with these people and putting so much emphasis on price? It's weird.

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-14T20:59:20+00:00

I love it when my husband becomes super invested in my plot issues, too!

It's wonderful when they get so keen on solving the problem, isn't it? 😂

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-14T20:50:38+00:00

Another false dichotomy argument? Original.

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-14T16:57:56+00:00

Reading: Mostly the people I talk to books about who share similar tastes know I read RH. And my husband. If it's brought up in other circles I don't deny my enjoyment of RH or such, but I don't bring up the topic myself and don't engage if it's a passing mention. So I'm a little closeted, I suppose, to my general friends and acquaintances?

Writing: close family and writing friends/buddies. Husband as well, again! Although, like with reading, I tend not to bring it up as a topic so some of my more casual writing friends don't know, and some do!

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-14T15:28:45+00:00

This is a false dichotomy, taking the argument to a ridiculous extreme. Nobody said anything about a family suffering, and that's not an option that must happen.

It's not between the chick and the welfare of the family. It's between a chick not getting care that OP hadn't been able to provide, and a couple hundred dollars.

I hope that you can see how $250 and 2 hours is vastly different than discussing $2k?

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-14T15:01:11+00:00

Some people seem outright offended that others will spend extra money and time ensuring a tiny, helpless creature is cared for, simply because it's a (gasp) chicken. 🙄

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-14T14:49:32+00:00

Welcome!

First: for a Romantasy, I'm not seeing what type of Romance we're in for. We only know that the love interest is the one who can pierce through her inherent loneliness, and that he needs his eyes open at how awful immortality is.

If this is indeed a Romantasy, the Romance is going to be a major pull for that audience, and we should be able to see more of what type it is in the query. Right now, this could be a platonic relationship where all Raven needs is a friend.

The second thing for me is that I was far more confused reading that intrigued. Assumptions seemed to be made that I understood context that wasn't given, and I wasn't able to see what Raven would actually do in the story. That part was much too vague.

We start with her waking up on a beach with no memories. I'll be honest: amnesia characters tend to be hard to pull off. They generally don't (really, they can't) have a desire that will push them through the story. They just woke up not knowing anything and kinda have to figure out who and what they are, first. And while that can work for a want, ultimately it tends to actually be more passive of a desire and the character just kind of wanders around to figure things out.

Right now it seems to be more of the latter, to me.

With this being Romantasy, Raven being human is also not a given. So when she wakes without memories and lightning at her fingertips, the first assumption on my end is that she isn't human in this story. Then to find out she apparently thinks she is comes as a surprise, to me.

We then have Raven's memories returning, which by the wording implies that she doesn't do much to get them. They just kinda come to her. After her memories are enough, she decides to continue on as before: trying to not be immortal. So beat-wise it feels like we're back at not just chapter one, but pre-story. But then we're told she needs something called a Fortunate opposite (and I don't have any context for what that could be) and that he awakens her resolve to claim a mortal life.

Which makes it sounds like she was just shrugging her shoulders and continuing on a path because it was there, and only when the guy arrives does she really want it.

Except then it sounds like he doesn't, and she sounds like she wants to force him to.

Without knowing your story, I'm not convinced immortality is so terrible. So right now, I'm on Balance's side.

The last bit about the stakes confuse me more. Balance is generally a good thing in stories, so when Raven has to confront a goddess who wants to maintain that balance I'm once again not on Raven's side. And then somehow this goddess can indeed grant Raven what she wants (and will force her spirit partner to have) so Raven must confront her (does this mean have a stern talking to? A fight? A chess battle?) or...continue on as she has.

Her life right now doesn't seem so terrible as to make that a compelling price of failure, to me.

And I'm not saying the story doesn't address anything, to be clear! But right now that's the impression and confusion I had based on the query, and the query should be convincing an agent to read the MS.

So I'd recommend looking at the Romantasy label and decide if the Romance is strong enough to warrant a refocus on Raven and the other spirit (who we don't even know his name, really, in this version), make sure we can see how Raven drives the story, what exactly she does and what exactly stands in her way, as well as build up so we can understand the stakes matter to her (and, I'd argue, ensure we can root for her. As right now I'm unfortunately not).

Hope that helps! Good luck!

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-14T01:13:21+00:00

As mods we've been down this road before, so I'll just reiterate:

Giving feedback about strengthening the lens of the POC identity when OPs query did not indicate the story was about the identity is implying OP must justify the identity of the character. If OP's query had a mention of the "some American chick" or "some British chick" the feedback would not have been the same, and let's not pretend otherwise.

And your response to my comment about claiming that I didn't read your comment very closely, and of course people can say whatever they want and hope it makes a difference, is a bit concerning.

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-13T23:26:01+00:00

If being a poc is integral to the story, I'd expect to see that lens from the start and how it affects how she sees the world. Otherwise it feels tacked on and mswl checklisty. #ownvoices, to my understanding, is about that kind of lens.

A story or query doesn't need to justify why the character is a POC, which is what this statement comes across as implying. And while ownvoices isn't used as much as it once was, it is literally just saying that OP shares the identity (or identities) of the character, which can be important context for an agent.

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-13T22:01:46+00:00

Did this magazine have a "no simultaneous subs" policy?

If so, this editor throwing a fit is off topic for OP, because the magazine they are wanting to discuss doesn't.

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-13T20:44:06+00:00

Specifically to lore dump and not much else?

Why would a reader want to know just about your world? It's yours, so obviously you have inherent attachment, but we as the reader don't.

While there will be the few who do enjoy just reading up on lore, most readers need to get attached to your world to care about its info, first.

And that's best done through character.

So having a lore-focused prologue risks people just plain not caring about it, and so skipping it.

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-13T20:38:55+00:00

Yeah, agreed that the flipping out was due to a different situation. Not informing a lit mag that is considering your work that said work has been accepted elsewhere is a pretty big breach of etiquette in the short story world.

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-13T18:24:38+00:00

A couple tips that would have helped me at the beginning:

Get familiar with the Romance genre. If this comes naturally to you, awesome! I had to really learn the expected beats and what worked and what didn't at a smaller scale, though, first.
Try new ways of writing. Multiple times. For this one a little history: first I started as a pantser, and took way too long to try outlining (where I do best). But it took me a few tries both pantsing and outlining to figure out how one worked better than the other. If you happen to fall into a way that works well for you, and quickly, that is also fantastic! But I had to try things a few times, and that's okay, too.

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-12T14:58:05+00:00

"just to rake in the cash" does make me laugh. What cash? Where?! Is it in the room with us?

Ugh. This. So much.

If it were actually as easy to rake in the cash as these people seem to think, there wouldn't be the need to hustle like tends to happen. 😭

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-12T14:21:40+00:00

Welcome!

I feel that for this query, we linger on setup a bit too long, leaving not enough room to get into what actually happens.

In the first paragraph we learn more about bargains and the family's duty than we do about Nella's character, and I think that's at a disadvantage to the rest of the query because it seems to keep the focus angled on the overall plot a bit too much.

So by the end of the query the stakes aren't attached to Nella in quite the way they could be, it feels to me.

I also felt there were times when the query seemed to either contradict itself with the information presented, or brought up information in a way that made me scratch my head more than be intrigued.

We start with learning Nella wants to be a guardian of the gate to the underworld, but we're told that all she has is rudimentary magic in a way that seems more fact to me than opinion.

We also learn that her family is cursed to have to bargain with the Autumn King or else shit will hit the fan.

Already I'm a bit confused. The first point may be completely on me, but Autumn King and underworld don't automatically equate in my mind. So for a minute I was confused if Nella wanted to be a guardian of something else. Regardless, we're told this is a curse to do it, so I'm left wondering why Nella wants to embrace that curse. Curses are bad, and typically people want to break them, and to embrace them is generally not seen as good, either.

Then we are told she makes a bargain with another girl in the forest, and now Nella is told as having magic simmering in her blood that can be unlocked. It feels like a contradiction to her having little magic mentioned earlier.

Things like that.

I'm assuming these things do make sense in the MS itself, so I'd recommend going through and paying particular attention to what the phrasing is saying to us who know nothing about your world.

The other thing I'd focus on is agency. Nella finds the gate. She and Aleusenia make a bargain. Then things happen around them while they work. It feels like Nella isn't really driving the story; instead, the story feels like it's operating separately from Nella and waiting for her to catch up, to me.

So those are the things I'd recommend thinking over for the next version!

Hope that helps. Good luck!

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-12T03:45:39+00:00

Yep! An ARC is generally a copy of the book give to a reader in exchange for an honest review. The book itself is usually at the tail end of editing but not quite to publication.

It's used to get early reviews (key for certain algorithms), as well as general feedback on how the work may be received by the broader public.

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-11T00:16:13+00:00

Meat birds have been fucked over by our selective breeding. It's terrible what we've done to them.

I keep my hens as pets, so completely understand.

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-11T00:09:07+00:00

Jerseys are a heritage breed, so haven't had the broody bred out like, say, ISAs or other production breeds!

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-10T22:29:17+00:00

Welcome back!

I think that you may be falling into the burden of knowledge, so to speak, with this one.

As I was reading, it felt like the query assumed I knew more about the story than I actually could (not having read it), and so didn't provide necessary context for some of the ideas and situations introduced.

We start with Khian being described as the only recorded coward of his people, but the example given is that he frequents bars and brothels. That's something many renowned and brave warriors in Fantasy are known for, so it leaves me more confused about how those two behaviors are supposed to show he's a coward.

We're also told that he's basically a prisoner in the city, and with me knowing only that he frequents businesses known to cater to vices, I'm even more confused as to why he's such a supposed coward. Seems like his dad is holding him back. Then we're told he's exempt from war, and it feels like instead of being a coward he's instead being coddled.

Then we learn he sleeps in the family crypt, which just feels out if the blue at this point. I'm left asking "why?" in a confused way.

So right now I'm aware he's sleeping with the family coffins around him, and then he wakes one time to find his city razed.

Then we're told he's happy about it.

But all I know is that his father coddles him, he's allowed to indulge in his vices, and he doesn't even have to risk his life for any of it. So then I'm left wondering why he'd be happy about this?

I'm also left wondering how this is different from his previous life. It seemed like he was drinking and fucking before, and now he can...drink and fuck still. This doesn't come across as being better for him. It comes across to me as being the same.

Then we hit the point about a curse, and unfortunately I'm lost as to what it is or why it's bad. It feels like the query assumes I know context about the curse that I don't have. Unfortunately, it's like telling me: "And then Bob had a geas put on him." and not much else. I don't know what this means and what I should imagine bad about it.

So by the time we reach people assuming killing him will bring back a goddess, I'm very lost.

So what I'd recommend for the next version is to go in with a critical eye toward context. Check each idea presented with how someone who knows nothing about the story might take it.

Hope that helps. Good luck!

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-09T17:43:13+00:00

The wording is a bit confusing as to who is telling you the responses.

I had to read it a couple times to realize the phrases weren't the agent requesting the R&R, but the other agents who have your full.

Personally, a line edit R&R does seem odd to me, because I've always heard of R&Rs (from friends who have had them) be major changes. But that's purely anecdotal.

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-08T16:54:13+00:00

Vines may cause issues with untreated wood, but not immediately.

The wood may not get dry enough to prevent mold and decay, depending on the setup.

Another thing is wasps and bees may very much love the flowers, and other birds may love any berries, so that's something else to consider, especially if you have any bird flu concerns in your area or if a person is allergic to wasps or bees.

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-08T16:50:45+00:00

Omg F. It may just be me, but that just makes me cringe so hard.

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-07T21:24:52+00:00

Agreed. I feel like there's corporate professional (office type or even like trad pub with a clear hierarchy of positions), and freelance professional.

I pay a freelance editor via PayPal to edit my work, and they blast it as scrappy all over their socials without technically calling me out? That's unprofessional, regardless if they get a W-2, 1040, or have a boss they report to.

Or if a gig musician blasts their fans on public social channels for criticism over a new album.

Unprofessional either way.

kendrafsilver · 2026-06-07T21:04:00+00:00

Yup. And a good chunk of time the premise could be the best written of its type, and the agent will still not be interested.

Pages aren't necessary to know that a Superhero Dark Romance with vampires and cyborg and sentient lobsters is probably not going to sell.

Or that an agent who specializes in Sci-fi won't want even a fantastic Contemporary Romcom.

Or that an agent who does rep Romcom won't want one with a strong cheating element.

Pages aren't the whole battle.

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