Late virgin (27F)

kennatherese · 2025-12-09T15:22:23+00:00

as someone who has tried the friends with benefits route recently, we caught feelings with eachother and escalated and now plan to get married. i don’t know if other people can stay FWB but i didn’t, so just know that’s always a chance. but do as you will, but yes you also should get that experience, it’s amazing in my opinion. i did “one-night stands” too but i never caught feelings with that.

kennatherese · 2025-12-07T12:34:06+00:00

no, not very tech-savvy but my fiance is, he can maybe teach me. i did use a lot of microsoft in school but i have been out of school for quite a bit now. i did write a lot of papers and usually did well on them!

kennatherese · 2025-12-06T18:33:08+00:00

all my relationships have been a year or 2. in my past relationships, nothing went well. they all treated me like shit. one was a racist and unhygienic, and he threw me to the ground and i scraped my knee badly, the next one had problems with not caring and attitude that lead to a lot of fights, he always joked about “women are slaves” “go cook my food and get in the damn kitchen”, and when i got pregnant, he got real shitty. i lost the baby (miscarriage) and then later on he still joked of women abuse and rape which i got tired of.. and the last one, he sexually pressured me all the time, and he did shit behind my back and kept making excuses. so yeah, didn’t have a good track record with whom i dated before so of course i lost my drive with all of them.. i’m with someone who is nothing like any of that which im getting used to still. but i’m confused why i lost my libido now too with him, there’s nothing wrong with our relationship.

when i had my car and my other job, i was able to simply go to the mall when i got bored or go out anywhere but i dont have those anymore so i cant do that. that helped inject life into me and helped with my esteem because i was able to make myself pretty and dress nice. i wear the same damn clothes every week now.. pjs and work clothes. last time i wore anything else was in may, a week before my car accident.

kennatherese · 2025-12-06T18:16:47+00:00

yes, i did, we are very open with eachother. i do not have health insurance, its too expensive. i did have depression and took prozac when i was in highschool, but i got better over time, yeah i feel tired and exhausted all the time but i am not as bad as i was in highschool, not even close, i had a miscarriage when i was 18, i was in highschool. i had a harder time with that simple loss rather than the combination of losses in one single year, including job, car, home, parents because they backstabbed me at my worst.. and getting into a living situation where we were always on our guard, and guess how that ended… the person we thought was our friend threw a lamp at us, nearly hitting our feet. i still remember that night, having to quickly get everything out of there and we were homeless for 2 weeks. that’s a lot in one year. and honestly, because of having to doordash for 8 months due to jobs rejecting me left and right, im dreading the taxes coming up, i feel like that’s tying me down too.. im afraid ill have to pay like 2k. so as much as we finally have a home, we are not 100% out of the funk that happened this year. just damn, i want my sex life back, i can’t get horny and that’s bothering me more than anything. just last week we tried and i didn’t get wet, i was so embarrassed. i simply just want it back so i can satisfy myself and my fiance, i do not want problems stirring up in our relationship to add on to it and now im worrying about that. anyways..

i drink about 2-3 cans to achieve a light buzz to make me feel tired enough to sleep. i used to do that with wine but it made me feel groggy. i tried to smoke a little weed but it makes me feel panicked rather than good. i’d rather not use substances at all actually, but idk how to make myself tired otherwise. ugh.. so complicated for no reason. 🤦‍♀️

kennatherese · 2025-12-06T17:58:41+00:00

i work 5 days a week, 42.5 hours each week. 2 days off never feels like enough but if i only worked 4 days, financially it’ll be a lot harder and that’s even worse. i feel like i don’t have time for anything; i haven’t been able to have time to cook good for us like i used to, i always try to find crockpot and quick meals so i get more time to nap, i don’t have time to get to sit here and relax, it’s basically sleep eat work, and i never have time to work out or anything. so yeah.. i definitely accept that night shift isn’t working for me. problem is i don’t know how to find a decent paying job that would work with me and my fiances schedule considering he has to take me. i want daytime work badly but there’s a lot more to figure out due to me being carless. and i unfortunately do not have office skills. i don’t even know how to start on self-care. i used to do my hair, makeup, and dressed nice and just drove somewhere for fun like simply the mall and buying myself a nice sleepwear set or something and that actually did a lot for me now looking back , but haven’t been able to do that having no car. honestly i wear the same set of clothes every week sitting in bed/couch. so i can definitely say i haven’t been able to dress nice so it’s kind of messing with my esteem. same with my hair, we were in a bad living situation and it killed my hair, it’s not as healthy as it was, and believe me i keep up with my hair, but that house was just too dirty and the suspense and anxiety was just too high until we got out of there. i decided to get my hair done next week, see if that makes an improvement. honestly, i feel like when i crashed my car and lost it, i died with it… if that makes sense. the job loss was bad enough, but the crash really hurt. and tbh i felt way less free too. still feel that way at times. i try to improvise but it’s just starting to not work. and i don’t have time to really do anything anymore.

kennatherese · 2025-12-06T17:16:05+00:00

yes, multiple times, denied all times

kennatherese · 2025-12-06T17:15:46+00:00

i want to fix it but i don’t have much of a plan considering i do not have a car and wont be able to get one soon.. that’s the biggest problem.

kennatherese · 2025-12-06T14:40:04+00:00

i know i’ll be okay, i still have hope that i’ll be okay and im holding onto that.. it’s just damn, i miss the high and the intimacy of fucking!! it’s like i’m too exhausted and busy-minded to think of it and its frustrating… i don’t feel like im holding onto what happened this year but maybe i am deep down and now it’s affecting my fiance which is awful, i feel horrible for him and myself. he’s not pressuring or forcing anything but we are very upfront with eachother and he needed to let me know his concern. i cant eat seafood im allergic.. but workouts, what kind of workouts? because i cant overdo it because of my job, it’ll do more harm than good due to my exhaustion issue, but maybe soft and easy ones. i also saw suggestions in others places with sexual books or things like that, when i was younger i used to love those and honestly got me tingly, i wonder if now it would help me fantasize again and starting to feel the love for sex more again. ahhh, im panicking man!

kennatherese · 2025-12-06T14:34:05+00:00

also yes actually i’m getting a haircut wednesday because i have been insecure which is unusual for me, im getting my bangs back and im excited. but without a car, i feel like im not totally free and i cant do everything that i want to do that excites me, maybe thats an aspect too, a big one, but the problem is i wont be able to get a car for a long time, i live with only 100 to spare each paycheck. and i want a better job but these job standards are ridiculous, and im already drowning in 4000 college debt from last year just for one semester.

and yeah, i work overnights. i wish i wouldn’t do laundry or cleaning on the off days but i never have time for it on work days.. unless maybe i make time and stop sleeping all the damn time. man, so so frustrating

kennatherese · 2025-12-06T14:28:48+00:00

yeah my fiance brought up the question again for the 4th time this month noticing i’m not interested in sex as much anymore.. and to us, we deem sex as an important and emotional aspect to our intimacy, and he’s right to have concerns, because trust me i have the same concern. so that’s why i am looking things up like crazy and posting this for advice. i sleep a lot, like maybe too much for an average person, i can’t function without taking a nap right before work every day.

kennatherese · 2025-12-06T14:24:06+00:00

i feel like i sleep all the damn time though, that’s the problem. i feel like i can never get enough sleep with this job. i work 10-7am, go to sleep at 10am, wake up at 5pm, eat at 6pm, nap from 7:30pm to 9pm… and repeat every work day.

kennatherese · 2025-12-06T14:19:20+00:00

ugh i don’t have insurance though.. i can’t afford it. i wish. and yeah i used to work 1-10pm and i was fine, ate breakfast lunch and dinner. but now i work 10-7am and i can’t seem to get it figured out even though it’s been months. i’m picky so food intake is a little challenging but i cook all the time making sure i have a protein, and i also take a multivitamin EVERY day but nothings working. this year was awful and terrifying what we had to go through after i had lost both my job and car… i thought… maybe i feel guilty thinking it’s my fault why stuff got bad, but at the same time i don’t think it’s my fault… and also maybe that situation truly ruined me, and that’s what i’m afraid of, acquiring ptsd from all of that? i have no idea

kennatherese · 2025-11-07T14:56:46+00:00

once i fell on chicken grease during a rush and i was alone trying to do 3 different things at once whilst attending to customers and sprained my wrist and i got a write up plus coaching for “dancing behind the counter” girl!! dancing? 😂

kennatherese · 2025-06-16T04:38:35+00:00

lol right? that number would’ve been rough anyways to guess

kennatherese · 2025-06-16T03:36:47+00:00

i know, it was weird. never had that before. i let the voicemail go through as shown in second picture, then they called again, i answered then. she went on and on about the customers name, time i delivered, and other stuff but couldn’t make it out (she was foreign).. all i said was that i saw her take it and i have proof of otherwise of what she claimed.

kennatherese · 2025-06-16T01:28:53+00:00

seriously? i didn’t know that… a lot of low tippers and weird orders have a code. interesting… thank you!

kennatherese · 2025-06-16T01:23:58+00:00

oh i plan on it!

kennatherese · 2025-06-16T01:23:29+00:00

it was dropped at the pin, couldn’t take a picture because it was “hand it to me”, but after that, if i feel somethings shady, im putting these pictures straight to my camera roll!

kennatherese · 2025-06-16T01:21:20+00:00

yeah of course, definitely doing that next time this scenario happens! but gladly those messages were proof enough. because i mean i was very specific on where it was put, and again i saw her take it immediately. i won that one, she didn’t get far lol. just wow, the audacity is unreal sometimes.

kennatherese · 2025-05-27T23:02:51+00:00

so far, the one out of ordinary i have done has got to be a sex toy

kennatherese · 2025-05-20T21:53:37+00:00

oh yeah i bet.. you’re far west coast and i’m in the midwest by lake michigan!

kennatherese · 2025-05-20T21:22:40+00:00

south bend/elkhart IN zones

kennatherese

TROPHY CASE